Drawing Lesson No. 1.
BEWARE OF FRAUDS.
The original and only genuine “Rough on Rats” is manufactured by and has the name of Ephraim S. Wells, Jersey City. N. J., on each box. We employ no traveling Agents, nor Peddlers. “Rough on Rats” is put up only in Boxes.
Price FIRST EDITION. 5 Cents.
THE
SEASIDE SIBYL;
OR,
LEAVES OF DESTINY
A FORTUNE TELLER IN VERSE.
AMERICAN EDITION
COPYRIGHTED APRIL, 1882, BY E. S. WELLS, JERSEY CITY, N. J.
THE SIBYL’S CURE.
For love—be you sure
There is but one cure.
Yourself, then, resign
To marry, or pine!
This grave operation
Requires consultation.
The Sugar and Spice
Will make the cure nice.
The pain in the heart
Will quickly depart.
I’d fain say the same
Of every pain
That ruffles the temper
Or maddens the brain;
That makes the eye dim
Or cripples a limb;
That mars all your beauty,
And pleasure and duty.
Why this should be so
Is a puzzle to know.
If you take my advice,
You’ll be well in a thrice.
Away with your lotions,
And villainous potions—
And, if you have sense,
Spend a very few pence
To make your ills fewer
With “Wells’ Health Renewer.”
LEAVES OF DESTINY.
DIRECTIONS FOR CONSULTING THE SIBYL:—Draw for a number from slips numbered from 1 to 100, and see corresponding number in Leaves of Destiny.
1.
You’ll meet this year on Brighton Strand,
One destined for your heart and hand.
2.
Choose one—if you are shrewd,
No safety lies in multitude.
3.
Endless flirtation
Doth seem your vocation.
4.
Bracing air and embracing arms,
Give Coney Island especial charms.
5.
Young or Old? Love or Gold?
Hot or Cold? Given or Sold?
Toss odd or even—you’ll be told.
Drawing Lesson No. 2.
Base Ball Season.
A man in Chester county, Pa., has paid $125 and costs of prosecution for thrashing a lawyer in his office, but he says the amusement was worth every cent of it.
A malicious story is afloat to the effect that a Meriden girl went back on her lover because he was so bow-legged she could not sit on his lap.
Emma Abbott carries a dagger on the stage that is worth $16,500. This dagger on the stage is exceeded only by the lie off the stage.
It is said that figures won’t lie; but the figures of some women are very deceptive, to say the least.
Drawing Lesson No. 3.
Wells’ Health Renewer
Good for Ladies and Gentlemen.
6.
Some natures change on change of name,
But like the rose you’ll be the same.
7.
For music and balls,
You’ll have nursery squalls.
8.
The right one cometh from New York,
With heart and purse as light as cork.
9.
Away with pride and cold disdain,
Or you’ll too long a maid remain.
10.
Don’t have for motto—“Both best,”—
But—“Choose one, look at the rest.”
11.
’Tis simply true, tho’ now you may laugh,
That you will worship a golden calf.
12.
This year a lover will with pride,
Watch thee sporting in the tide.
Drawing Lesson No. 4.
“The Finish.”—Jerome Park.
When a man dies suddenly “without the aid of a physician,” as an Irishman once said, the coroner must be called in. If a man dies regularly after being treated by a doctor, everybody knows why he died, and the coroner’s inquest is not necessary.
We have just received a sample copy of a new song, entitled “Put your arms around me, dear.” Any lady who desires to try it, can do so by calling at our office after business hours—we mean the song.
“Union is not always strength,” as Sir Charles Napier said, when he saw the purser mixing his rum and water.
Drawing Lesson No. 5.
The thing desired found at last. Don’t die on the premises. Ask Druggists for “Rough on Rats.” It clears out Roaches, Bed-bugs, Rats, Mice, &c. 15 and 25c. Boxes.
Ladies, It’s Just Lovely.
Send 10 Cents to E. S. WELLS, Jersey City, N. J., and receive by return mail a beautiful “Rough on Rats” Iron Holder. It’s splendid.
Also, 15 Cents for a New Chromo, in seven colors, 13 × 21 inches, elegant for any room or office, entitled “Household Troubles.” Best thing out.
And 10 Cents for a set of large size Scrap Book Cards in colors; amusing, instructive, beautiful.
And 35 Cents for Song and Chorus of “Rough on Rats.” This is immense. Just out. Everybody crazy for it.
And 5 Cents for “The Seaside Sibyl; or Leaves of Destiny.” A fortune teller in verse. Filled with comic illustrations.
All together, 50 Cents.
13.
At Ocean Grove you’ll forsake worldly notions,
Drink nothing but tea and attend your devotions.
14.
A heart and fortune you will gain,
In this summer’s grand campaign.
15.
Before you go too far,
Be sure there’s not another side,
The brighter side to mar.
16.
A life both long and wisely spent,
With children to your heart’s content.
17.
Happy when single, but not content,
You’ll marry in haste and soon repent.
18.
Lovers and books romantic—
Music of the grand Atlantic—
This year will make you nearly frantic.
Drawing Lesson No. 6.
“The Ascent.”—Catskills.
They say when Bismarck greeted Grant, he smiled one of those fatherland grins, held out his hand and exclaimed: “Vegates, sheneral? I vas overcome mit gladness by myself to see you; sit mit yourself down. Adolph, two beers, right away, quick, so helup you gracious!”
It has cost $223,000,000 to look after the Indians during the past ten years. The Indians may be poor, but so are several persons in New York and other large cities.
“What I’d like to know,” said a schoolboy, “Is how the mouths of rivers can be so much larger than their heads.” The boy has evidently not yet seen much of our congressmen.
Drawing Lesson No. 7.
ALL this trouble might have been avoided by the use of one Fifteen Cent Box of “ROUGH ON RATS.”
Clears out Rats, Mice, Flies, Bed-Bugs, Ants, Roaches, Mosquitoes, &c.
The supper was laid on a table trim
When out comes, roaring, my young son, Jim,
“Oh! daddy, the rats! A dozen or two,
Are gobbling the supper, and baby too.”
My wife, with a scream, seized iron and broom,
I clutched a bottle, and made for the room.
Never was heard such a hullabaloo!
It woke up the cat, and terrier too.
The terrier thought we were hunting the cat,
Got a grip of her tail, as she went for the rat.
Jim, with his hatchet, tumbled over a pail,
And tried to hold terrier back by the tail.
I caught Jim by the wool, but rather too late—
The table received such a bump from his pate
That teapot, plates, lamp, chairs, baby and all,
Were upset on the floor, ’mid crash and squall.
The people about shouted “Murder! Fire!”
And the Police rushed in the cause to inquire;
They’d listen to nothing we wanted to state,
But to the next station lugged me off straight.
Swore I was drunk—nearly murdered my wife,
And of my poor infant endangered the life,
Broke tables, chairs, and the crockery ware;
When the Justice said, “What a savage old bear,”
Not heeding a word my poor wife did swear.
Imprisoned and fined, I cursed my sad fate,
When lately I learned, but rather too late,
Instead of depending on traps, dogs or cats,
My only protection was “Rough on Rats.”
19.
The “Mighty Dollar” cannot buy
The love for which in vain you sigh.
20.
Look in the glass and you will see
Your source of power and frailty.
21.
A well known line you may transpose—
“A thorn is always near a rose.”
22.
You nobly strive to make it known
“’Tis bad for man to be alone.”
23.
Before the present year is out,
Your wedding cards will be about.
24.
Drifting away, day by day!
No one to say, “Stay! oh stay!”
25.
A heartless flirt; you’ll penance do
For all the innocents you slew.
Drawing Lesson No. 8.
“Upper Ten.”—Long Branch.
A gentleman was examining an umbrella and commenting upon its fine quality. “Yes,” said a person present, “he fancies everything he sees.” “And,” added a third party, “is inclined to seize everything he fancies.”
If there is anything in this world calculated to make a man forget that he’s been to hear Moodey and Sankey on the previous evening, is to bounce cheerily out of bed in the morning and light on the business end of a tack.
A New Jersey female institute contains thirty-four red-headed girls, and the principal dispenses with gas and all other artificial light.
Facial Drawing Lessons.
This man believes in Patent Medicines, and has used “Wells’ Health Renewer” to advantage.
Have you seen the Song and Chorus of “Rough on Rats”?
This man don’t believe in Patent Medicines; rather go to his own Doctor. Look at him!
26.
To you, I’m afraid, it is useless to preach
About the temptations of Rockaway Beach.
27.
Merry and free your revelry!
Soon tired you’ll be of devilry!
28.
You’ll give up athletics;
And take to æsthetics.
29.
On some fine day not very remote,
You’ll meet your match on a Rockaway boat.
30.
Your head is hot, your heart is cold—
I pity your lot when you grow old.
31.
When you’re seized with fits æsthetic,
Take at once a strong emetic.
32.
With throbbing heart and trembling hand
Soon at the altar you will stand.
Drawing Lesson No. 9.
“Clams.”—Rockaway.
The Lady Habberton’s divided skirt for females is to be exhibited at Kate Field’s co-operative dress association establishment in New York. It won’t do. The only divided skirts in vogue are those worn by ballet girls, which divide high, the upper quarter only being worn.
A New York hotel proprietor, who thought of raising his rates, has wisely concluded to retain his present prices—$5 and $5.50 a day. This will be hailed with gratitude by clerks and others, who make only $8 or $10 a week.
The editor who said his mouth never uttered a lie, probably spoke through his nose.
Drawing Lesson No. 10.
You can’t tickle “Rough on Rats” with a straw.
25c., 50c. and $1.00 Bottles.
Great Triumph.—The universal success of Wells’ Throat and Lung Balsam, in Consumption, Coughs, Bronchitis, Asthma and Pulmonary diseases, is attracting notice throughout the country. It is without question a remarkable preparation, and has given abundant evidences of peculiar efficacy in controlling Pulmonary diseases. Cures of severest forms of long standing throat and lung affections reported every day. Relief is immediate and certain.
Cures Catarrhal Throat Affections.
To be Permanently Esteemed, a medicine must possess virtues so marked as to be plainly apparent. The good name attained by Wells’ Throat and Lung Balsam is evidence of worth. It has proved a thoroughly reliable, trustworthy family cough cure. Can never be given amiss. The best possible remedy in any and all affections of Throat, Chest and Lungs. Even if every other means fail this gives relief. The only remedy of any service in whooping cough; being always reliable and safe, is such as one friend can take pleasure in recommending to another.
E. S. WELLS, JERSEY CITY, N. J.
33.
You’ll count amongst your future joys
Six little girls, six little boys.
34.
Before you sip, take firm grip
You’ll have no slip ’tween cup and lip.
35.
Your pace, I fear, is rather fast—
Your love’s by far too hot to last!
36.
The greatest blessing you will find
That Love should be completely blind.
37.
Inconstant as the fickle wind,
From day to day you’ll change your mind.
38.
Newport is the grand resort.
For those, like you, intent on sport.
39.
A blow on the pier—a plunge in the brine
Is all that’s required to make you divine.
Drawing Lesson No. 11.
“The Springs.”—Saratoga.
“Pa, I guess our man Ralph is a good Christian.” “How so, my boy?” “Why, Pa, I read in the Bible that the wicked shall not live out half his days, and Ralph says he has lived out ever since he was a little boy.”
“What is that dog barking at,” asked a fop, whose boots were more polished than his ideas. “Why,” said a by-stander, “he sees another puppy in your boots.”
A popular writer, speaking of the ocean telegraph, wonders whether the news transmitted through the salt water will be fresh.
Spanish women are great S’noras.
FALSE MODESTY.
Every one of ordinary intelligence knows that Kidney Disease, Affections of the Bladder and Urinary Complaints, are as legitimate and common to both sexes (all classes of society), as those involving any other portion of the economy. Therefore, a remedy possessing unprecedented virtues in treatment of these diseases should have a respectful hearing. If afflicted, you will have reason to rejoice over the day you commenced the use of PROF. CHAPIN’S BUCHU-PAIBA (see other pages). $1.00 per bottle, at Druggists. Sent to any address on receipt of price, $1; 6 bottles, $5.
BUCHU-PAIBA.
PROF. CHAPIN’S BUCHU-PAIBA.—A quick, complete cure for all Urinary, Kidney, Bladder and Genital Diseases, in male or female, as Paralysis, Diabetes, Gravel, Difficulty of holding or passing Urine, Gleet, Turbid Urine, Brick Dust and other Deposits, Stricture, Irritation, Inflammation, Inaction, Whites, Impure or Diseased Discharges, Contagious Diseases, Pains in the Back and Thighs, Dragging Down, Dripping, Ulcers, Tumors, Dropsy, Enlargement of Prostate, Bloody or Puss-Matter discharges, &c. $1.00.
CHAPIN’S INJECTION FLEUR is to be used with BUCHU-PAIBA in cases of Impure or Diseased Discharges. Price (with Syringe), $1. His “CONSTITUTION BITTER SYRUP,” drives all traces from the blood. Price, $1.
Either Remedy to be had of druggists, or a bottle by express, to any address, on receipt of $1.00; 6 bottles of one kind, or assorted, $5.00. Address,
E. S. WELLS, 22 Summit Ave., Jersey City, N. J.
Drawing Lesson No. 12.
A MISTAKE.—It is a mistake when medicines recommended for Kidney Bladder and Urinary Complaints are all classed as remedies exclusively for diseases of a questionable nature. Prof. Chapin’s Buchu-paiba, whilst it is a specific for such diseases is the most remarkably successful remedy extant, in complete, quick cure of all forms of Kidney, Bladder and Urinary Diseases; and, if afflicted, you make a great mistake in not trying it. $1, Druggists. Sent to any address on receipt of price, $1 per bottle; six bottles $5, by express—can’t be sent by mail.
40.
Lovers come, and quickly go
When they find your heart like dough.
41.
The slightest rebuff makes you ready to die,
So fatal the kick from a gay butterfly.
42.
Like Wilde, and such æsthetic guys,
You ape an angel in disguise.
43.
When weary of sands and the wild waves’ play
To the glorious White Mountains fly away.
44.