Christmas at Punkin Holler

New Entertainment Songs
By Edna Randolph Worrell.

These songs can be used in all manner of entertainments. The music is easy, and both music and words are especially catchy. Children like them. Everybody likes them. Sheet music. Price 25 cents each. Five copies, $1.00.

WE HOPE YOU’VE BROUGHT YOUR SMILES ALONG. A welcome song that will at once put the audience in a joyous frame of mind and create a happy impression that will mean half the success of your entire program. Words, bright and inspiring. Music, catchy.

WE’LL NOW HAVE TO SAY GOOD-BYE. This beautiful song has snap and go that will appeal alike to visitors and singers. It is just the song to send your audience home with happy memories of the occasion.

WE’VE JUST ARRIVED FROM BASHFUL TOWN. This song will bring memories to the listeners of their own bashful school days. Words, unusually clever. Music, decidedly melodious. A capital welcome song, or it may be sung at any time on the program with assured success.

MY OWN AMERICA, I LOVE THEE. A song that will bring a thrill of patriotism to the heart of every one who hears it. The children and grown-ups just can’t resist the catchy music. It makes a capital marching song.

COME AND PARTAKE OF OUR WELCOME CAKE. A merry welcome song and a jolly one, too. The audience will be immediately curious about the Welcome Cake, and the children will love to surprise the listeners with the catchy words. Music, easy and tuneful.

LULLABY LANE. The music and words blend so beautifully that people will be humming the appealing strains long after they hear this charming song. A wonderfully effective closing song, whether sung by the school or as a solo by a little girl, with a chorus of other little girls with dolls.

JOLLY PICKANINNIES. Words by Elizabeth F. Guptill. Music by Edna R. Worrell. This spicy coon song will bring down the house, especially if you use the directions for the motions which accompany the music. The black faces and shining eyes of the pickaninnies will guarantee a hit. The words are great and the music just right.

THE LITTLE BIRD’S SECRET. Here is just the song for those two little folks to sing together. They won’t have to be coaxed to sing it, especially when they find that the whole school is to whistle the chorus. This is a decided novelty, and will prove a rare treat to your audience.

A GARDEN ROMANCE. This is a dainty little song telling of the romance and wedding of Marigold and Sweet William. It is just the song for dainty little girls to sing.

COME TO THE NURSERY RHYME GARDEN AND PLAY. Here is something different for the little folks to sing. The Nursery Rhyme Folk are so familiar to children, it will be no trick for them to remember the words. The music has a most captivating swing.

Paine Publishing Company - - Dayton, Ohio

Christmas at Punkin Holler

A CHRISTMAS PLAY
BY
ELIZABETH F. GUPTILL
Author of “Christmas at McCarthy’s,”
“A Topsy Turvy Christmas,” Etc.

PAINE PUBLISHING COMPANY
Dayton, Ohio

Cast of Characters

Copyright, 1916, by Paine Publishing Company.

Christmas at Punkin Holler

SCENE: The schoolroom. The necessary articles of furniture are the teacher’s desk and chair, and a couple of long wooden benches, or settees, if the benches are not to be easily obtained. The pupils are moving around, talking, laughing, and romping; making considerable noise and confusion. Miss Peppergrass enters, in hood and shawl, and speaks, but fails to make herself heard. She removes her wraps, hanging them on a nail near her desk, and rings bell smartly. School slowly becomes quiet, but the pupils do not seat themselves. Instead, they stare, wonderingly, at teacher.

Miss P.—Take your seats.

Hiram—Don’t hafter. It’s a hollerday.

Miss P.—I should say as much, judging by the noise you were making; but we can not rehearse for the entertainment to-night in the midst of such a racket as that. It sounded like a den of wild beasts.

Jacob—So ’twas, Teacher—a regular circus. I’m a lion, and I’m a-goin’ to eat Sally up! (Pounces on Sally, and begins to growl, and to pretend to eat her. Sally screams.)

Miss P.—(ringing bell again) That will do, Jacob. Now, children, take your seats. We must have it quiet. (Children crowd into seats. Johnny tries to pass the end of one seat, but is held back by Lucindy. He struggles.)

Miss P.—What’s the trouble there, Lucindy?

Lucindy—Johnny won’t set down.

Johnny—No such a thing, Teacher. I was a-goin’ ter set down, and she grabbed onto me.

Lucindy—He wasn’t! He was a-goin’ right by.

Johnny—Well, I was a-goin’ to set down in my own seat. I don’t like to set there.

Miss P.—But we are reserving the seats for the visitors. There will be a great many here to-night, you know. Don’t you want to be a little gentleman, and give up your seat to some one—your mamma, perhaps?

Johnny—Huh! Ma couldn’t git herself into that seat. She’s too fat. Pa’s a-goin’ to bring a chair for her, ’cause she couldn’t git into any seat, ’thout you tooked away the desk first!

Miss P.—Well, some one may want it.

Johnny—They do. I want it.

Miss P.—(sharply) Well, you can’t have it! Now sit down at once in the place assigned you, or—(she takes a switch from her desk.)

Johnny—(seating himself) You don’t give up your seat.

Miss P.—Ah, but I shall to-night, Johnny. I shall give it, as the seat of honor, to our supervisor, Mr. Barker. I shall be glad to give it to him, Johnny.

Jake—(aside) Sure she will. She’s settin’ her cap for him.

Miss P.—(sharply) What’s that, Jacob?

Jake—I wish you wouldn’t call me Jay Cup. Nobody else ever did. I’d as lief be called Jay Saucer, any day.

Miss P.—We won’t argue the matter, Jacob. I asked you what you said to Johnny.

Jake—I was jest a tellin’ him thet you was more politer than him, that’s all.

Miss P.—Indeed! We will rehearse now, for this evening.

Sammy—Be n’t we a goin’ ter trim that ere tree?

Patty—We brung a heap o’ popcorn, Teacher, all strung.

Betsey—And we’ve made paper chains, ’n tied up a lot o’ but’nuts in colored paper.

Peter—’N ma’s made doughnuts ’n tied ’em up in blue ribbing.

Sammy—Please can’t we trim it fust?

Miss P.—No indeed, you must all rehearse your parts first.

Jacob—Can’t we lug it in?

Sally—Then we could look at it while we was ’hearsin’.

Miss P.—It might take your attention. No, let it remain where it is for the present.

Johnny—It wants ter be brung in here fer the presents. ’Sides, there ain’t no presents ben brung yit.

Miss P.—It must remain outside until after the rehearsal.

Sammy—Somebody may steal it.

Miss P.—I hardly think so, with woods all around us. A tree would hardly be worth stealing, Sammy. Silence now.

Sammy—(aside) Somebody may steal it, all the same.

Hiram—Kin we rehearse in custum?

Miss P.—In what, Hiram?

Hiram—In custom. In our other rigs—our fol-de-rols ’n doodads that we’re go’n ter wear to-night?

Miss P.—Oh, your costumes? Certainly, if you have brought them. (Those who are to change clothing, rush out, pellmell.)

Reuben—Cuss is a bad swear word, Teacher. Ma licked me when I said it.

Miss P.—I should suppose she would. Little boys mustn’t say naughty words.

Reuben—But you said it.

Miss P.—I? Oh no, Reuben, I wouldn’t say a naughty word.

Reuben—But you did say it, jest the same. You told ’em ter put on their cuss tunes, ’n ef it’s bad ter call er cow a cuss, it’s bad ter call a tune one.

Miss P.—Their costumes, Reuben. Their other clothes.

Reuben—Oh! (aside, as Aunt Hepsey enters) But she did say it, ’n she said it agin.

Aunt Hepsey—How de do, Miss Peppergrass! I thought I’d jest drap in to hear the perliminaries, bein’s I couldn’t git out to-night.

Miss P.—(offering chair) You are very welcome, Miss Bascom. But do come to-night.

Aunt Hepsey—(sitting down heavily) Suz me, child, I dassn’t! I kaint posserbly go out arter dark, count ’o my rheumatiz. Cripples me all up. I’ll enjy it jest as well now, though, so jest go right ahead, same’s ef I warn’t here.

Sammy—Was that ere tree all right when you come in, Aunt Hepsy?

Aunt Hepsy—Land, yes, Sammy. Why shouldn’t it be?

Lucindy—Sammy’s afraid a bear’ll come along ’n eat it.

Sammy—Haint neither, but I’m worried ’bout that ere tree. Somebody might steal it.

(Re-enter Hiram. He has pulled on the Santa Claus trousers over his overalls, and stuffed a pillow in front. He is endeavoring to place one behind.)

Reuben—That’s a cuss tune all right.

Miss P.—Reuben!

Reuben—Well, you say it.

Miss P.—I certainly did not. Say costume, Reuben.

Reuben—You don’t like it when I say it.

Miss P.—You haven’t said it yet. Say it.

Reuben—(sulkily) Cuss tune.

Miss P.—No, not cuss, cos. Cos-tume. Say it correctly or I shall punish you.

Reuben—Cuss, cuss tune.

Miss P.—(shaking him) Cos! Say cos.

Reuben—(whimpering) Cu—cuss—cos!

Miss P.—(shaking again) Tume.

Reuben—(whimpering louder) Tune.

Miss P.—No, tume. Now say costume.

Reuben—Coss—tume! Boo, hoo, hoo!

Miss P.—Now sit down and behave yourself. (Reuben sits down, and sulks.) (Hiram has been industriously stuffing in the back pillow, but the front one has fallen on the floor.)

Hiram—I kaint git on these ere britches ter save my gizzard.

Aunt Hepsy—Well, I sh’d think you might, Hi, I sure do. They’re big enough for old Paul Clear, let alone Hi Whittaker.

Hiram—Big enough! Guess they be, Aunt Hepsy, but fast ez I git the front piller in, aout it draps while I’m a gittin’ in the one behint.

Miss P.—Let me help you.

Hiram—Guess I’ll hafter, Teacher, sure. Nice big baby I be, kain’t dress myself.

Miss P.—Bring in the tunic, and then we’ll see.

Hiram—The two whats?

Miss P.—The tunic. The blouse. The rest of the suit.

Hiram—Oh, the jacket? But there ain’t but one, less ’n you count the belt.

Miss P.—Bring the whole of it here.

Hiram—And the mask? ’N the cap ’n whiskers.

Miss P.—Yes, the whole of it, and hurry.

Aunt Hepsey—Jest you come here, Hi. I’ll fix you up. Go right on ’ith your programmy, Miss Peppergrass. I’ll tend ter him. I’ve rigged many a Santy Claws in my day.

(She assists Hiram, while the rehearsal goes on.)

Miss P.—Now, children, we must get to work, or we will not be through by the time they want to trim the tree.

Sammy—Somebody’ll steal it afore then. Better bring it in, Teacher.

Miss P.—The tree is all right, Sammy. Now I have the programme all arranged, and we will proceed just as we shall to-night. First will be the welcome song.

Rhoda—Ma says Ruby oughter say his welcome piece fust.

Miss P.—Oh no. We will sing first, then Reuben will speak his piece.

Reuben—(starting up) I’m a-goin’ ter speak first. Ma said so.

Miss P.—Sit down, Reuben, till I call your name.

Reuben—(still standing) Call it first, then. Ma says I gotter say it first.

Aunt Hepsy—Reckon he’ll hafter, ef his ma says so.

Miss P.—I’m running this school.

Aunt Hepsy—Mebbe so, mebbe so; but you don’t know Hanner Ann Jenkins ’s well ’s I do, or you’d know thet ef she’d made up her mind thet Ruby sh’d speak first, she’ll have him do it, ef it breaks up the whole entertainment. Hev’n’t you ever noticed thet Ruby was kinder sot in his ways for a youngster? He takes it from his ma, she thet was Hanner Ann Bean. I’d let him say it fust, ef I was you, I really would.

Miss P.—But I have my programme all arranged.

Aunt Hepsey—Change it, child. Ef ’twas jest Ruby, you could lick him inter mindin’, but Hanner Ann is six feet high, ’n weighs over two hundred. Do let’s have peace at Christmas time. ’N ’twill be anythin’ but peace ef Ruby don’t say that ere leetle varse fust. Go ahead ’n git it over, Ruby.

(Reuben comes out, and speaks.)

Welcome,¹ Mr. Supervisor, welcome,² friends and pairients dear.

On thet³ tree I think you’ll find a gift for everybody⁴ here.

Hope⁵ I get a jumpin’ jack, and a bag of candy sweet.⁶

’N now I’ve said my little piece, I’ll make my bow,⁷ and take my seat.⁸

(At 1, he bows elaborately to Aunt Hepsy, in the teacher’s chair. At 2, he bows to school. At 3, he points to side of room. At 4, he opens his arms, flinging his hands widely apart. At 5, he clasps his hands, with a loud clap, gazing upward. At 6, he smacks his lips. At 7, he bows again. At 8, he runs to seat.)

Rhody—He didn’t say it right, teacher. It’s “Hope I get a pretty toy.”

Reuben—Well, a jumpin’ jack’s a pretty toy, aint it? It’s what I want, anyhow.

Rhody—Ma’ll lick you, ef you say it so.

Teacher—That will do, Rhoda. Let him fight it out with his mother himself. If he gets a whipping, it’s no more then he deserves.

Rhody—But Ma said for you to make him say it right.

Miss P.—If he’s to say it when he pleases, he may say it as he pleases, for all I care.

Aunt Hepsy—She’ll skin him alive, ef he does say it wrong. Hanner Ann writ that ere little varse herself, ’n she’s prouder of it than a kitten with its fust mouse. Better say “pretty toy,” Ruby, ef your ma says so.

Reuben—A jumpin’ jack is a pretty toy.

Miss P.—We will now sing our welcome song. (Several begin to sing, in different keys. Miss P. raps on her desk and they stop.)

Miss P.—No, no, children. Wait till I give you the key. I will start the songs, and you must wait for me. Why, what would people think if you started in like that, all out of tune?

Aunt Hepsy—Think it was a lot o’ sheep a blartin’, most likely.

(Children laugh. Miss P. raps for order, gets the key, with an old-fashioned tuning fork, if one can be obtained, and starts the song. All stand up to sing. Tune: “Tramp, tramp, tramp, the boys are marching.”)

SONG.

We are gathered¹ here to-night, on this Christmas Eve so bright,

Just to show you all² the things that we can do.

We are glad³ to see you here, friends and parents kind and dear,

And we give⁴ a hearty welcome now to you.

Chorus:

Welcome,⁵ welcome, friends and parents!

Welcome, welcome now to you.

We⁶ will speak and we will sing, and some music we will bring,

And we’ll do it every bit,⁷ kind friends, for you.⁸

Just⁹ behold that Christmas tree, loaded¹⁰ down for you and me,

Presents¹¹ hanging from its boughs for great and small.

There are dolls¹² and toys and drums, apples, cakes, and sugarplums,

Something nice¹³ is there, I’m sure, for one and all.¹⁴

Santa Claus¹⁵ is drawing near. He will be here, never fear¹⁶.

With a pack¹⁷ well loaded, he’ll come down¹⁸ the flue.

Soon we’ll hear¹⁹ his sleighbells’ chime, while the reindeer’s²⁰ hoofs beat time,

And whatever²¹ you want most he’ll bring to you²².

(In singing, let some do the motions well, some awkwardly, while some exaggerate them.)

(Motions—1, Clasp hand on breast. 2, hands together, throw them widely apart. 3, boys bow elaborately, girls courtesy. 4, hold out hands, in greeting. 5, clap hands, through two lines. 6, touch breast, with both hands. 7, gesture with right forefinger. 8, throw right hand out, forefinger pointing. 9, point to where tree is to be. 10, bend forward. 11, both hands high, drooping from wrists. 12, point to imaginary articles, making little jabs in air, here and there, as each is mentioned. 13, clasp hands. 14, throw hands widely apart. 15, clap softly. 16, shake forefinger to music. 17, hold arms to designate large pack. 18, hands high, bring down together. 19, hand to ear, listening. 20, beat time, with right foot. 21, clasp hands. 22, gesture with right hand.

Hiram sings from where Aunt Hepsy is dressing him, and Patty and Faith step inside door and sing, then pop back into entry. Patty may be partly dressed, and Fay partly undressed.)

Aunt Hepsy—(clapping) Brayvo, children, brayvo! Where ever did you find sech a proprate song as that, Miss Peppergrass? (Miss P. simpers) You never writ it your own self, did you? Wal, I guess that’ll take the wind outen Hanner Ann Jenkinses sails. I allers thought a heap o’ po’try, myself, but I s’posed it took a lot o’ brains to write it. Did it take you days ’n days? And what was all the flumadoodles with their hands for?

Miss P.—Why, motion songs are very popular in the cities, I’ve heard, so I thought we would give some at our entertainment.

Aunt Hepsy—Yes, indeedy! Punkin Holler allers did pride itself on keepin’ right up to date. We’re no hayseeders in this commoonerty.

Miss P.—Don’t you think the motions were very graceful?

Aunt Hepsy—I haint a doubt they was, Miss Peppergrass, not a mite o’ doubt; but I was so flabbergasted at hearin’ them ere new words sung to thet old tune and so dumfounded at seein’ all them young ’uns a wavin’ their paws, wild like, in the air, thet I never once noticed if it war graceful. It sure was, though, an’ that’s a fact.

Miss P.—Next will be a recitation by Lucinda Lowe. An old poem, with new variations. (Lucinda advances, bows very low, and recites. She announces the name of her piece, as do all, in the old-fashioned way.)

MARY’S LAMB AT CHRISTMAS.

Mary had a little lamb

With kinky, soot-black wool.

He tagged her everywhere she went,

Just like a little fool.

Aunt Hepsy—Fool be’nt a pretty word, Lucindy. Why don’t you say numb-head?

Lucindy—’Twon’t rhyme.

Aunt Hepsy—But it’s a deal high-toneder.

Lucindy—All right. I don’t care. (Announces title again, and begins.)

Mary had a little lamb,

With kinky, soot-black wool.

He tagged her everywhere she went,

Just like a little-numb-head.

He tagged along to school one day,

Agin the teacher’s rule.

He kicked up his heels, and blarted right out,

To see a Christmas tree in school.

The teacher tried to turn him out,

But, nimble as a cat,

He sent his little hind heels out,

And knocked the teacher flat.

“What makes the critter act that way?”

The eager children cry.

“Because it is a holiday,”

Was Mary’s quick reply.

The lamb he danced around the tree,

And blarted out his song,

As if upon the program-mee

He really did belong.

He bunted down some candy bags

And frisked around some more,

Till Mary caught him by the ears,

And pulled him through the door.

Now take a warning from this tale,

And tie your critters tight,

So no ungainly beast shall spoil

Our Christmas tree to-night.

(Bows, and takes seat.)

Hiram—Look out, Sammy. She’s put that lamb of hers out doors, and he’ll eat up the Christmas tree.

Sammy—Can’t we bring it in now, teacher?

Miss P.—You can not. (as Sammy tries to speak) No, no one will steal it.

Sammy—Some one may eat it.

Miss P.—I hardly think any one will be hungry enough for that. People do not eat trees.

Sammy—Deers do, ’n bears, ’n—’n—moose! Jes’ s’pos’n a big moose comed along, ’n et off all the branches!

Miss P.—We’ll risk it, I think. Next on the programme is a duet by Jacob Toothaker and Rhoda Jenkins.

(They come out, bow to the chair, then to the school, then, elaborately to each other, and sing to the tune, “Reuben, Reuben, I’ve Been Thinking.”)

Rhoda—

Jacob, Jacob, I’ve ben thinkin’

What a grand good thing ’twould be

If each day could jest be Christmas,

With a great big Christmas tree.

(Pauses. Looks inquiringly at Jake, who looks sulkily at her.)

Aunt Hepsy—Wal, why in tunket don’t ye go on?

Rhoda—’Taint my turn. It’s his’n.

Aunt Hepsy—Chirp it up, Jake.

Jake—Sha’n’t.

Miss P.—Come, Jacob sing your verse.

Jake—I won’t sing it, ’n I won’t sing it ternight, nuther, ef she calls me Jay Cup! ’Taint my name, ’n I don’t keer ef ’t does sound stylisher, so there! My name’s allers been Jake tel this term er school. By next it’ll be Jake Platter, I expect.

Rhoda—But Jake hasn’t got syllerbles ernough.

Aunt Hepsy—Sing it (sings) “Jakie, Jakie, I’ve ben thinkin’.” That’ll go all right.

Jake—’Twon’t nuther. Jakie’s a kid’s name. It’s Jake er nuthin’. Ef she sings it so, I’ll sing back, ’n ef she don’t, I won’t.

Miss P.—I never saw such stubborn children in my life. Did ever you, Miss Bascom?

Aunt Hepsey—Land, yes, child. His pa’s jest like him. Him ’n me was promised, once, ’n he wouldn’t git spliced less’n I’d wear a blue delaine he’d bought fer me. Course, I warnt so mulish az he war, but I’d sot my heart on a white dimity, ’n bein’s I war the one to wear it, twar his place to give in. But he wouldn’t—no siree! ’N we bickered ’n bickered bout it, ’n I went right on a makin’ up the white dimity ’n finally he says, says he, “Hepsey, it’s me an’ the blue delaine, or the white dimity for an ole maid.” “Land sakes!” says I, “You don’t say so? Wal, you kin jes’ take yer old blue delaine, ’n hunt ye up a gal meek enough ter be married—’n buried, in it,” says I, ’n off he went, mad as a hatter. Much ’s ever he speaks to me yit, but I was married—in the white dimity—two year afore he found a gal that ’d have him, ’n could wear that blue delaine. You see, I’d cut ’n made it, ’n I was slender in those days—the slenderest gal in town. Yes, Ezry Toothaker’s some sot, ’n Jake comes nat’rally by it. Sing it to suit him, Rhody, do! ’Tain’t ’s ef ’twas fer allers. It’s jest ternight.

Rhoda—But there’s two notes, Aunt Hepsy.

Aunt Hepsy—Draw out the Jake good ’n long, ’n it’ll go. This way. (sings) “Jake, Jake, I’ve been thinkin’.”

Rhoda—(sings) (She makes the “Jake” decidedly jerky.)

Jake,¹ Jake, I’ve ben thinkin’

What a grand² good thing ’twould be

If each day could jest be Christmas,

With a great³ big Christmas tree.

Jake—(sings)

Rhody,⁴ Rhody, I’ve ben thinkin’

What a grand⁵ good thing ’twould be,

If we never had no Christmas,

’Cos it costs too much, you see.

Both—

Too⁶-ra-loo-ra-loo¹-ra laddie,

Too⁷-ra-loo-ra-loo-ra lay.

If it { always⁸ } could be Christmas,

{ never⁹ }

Wouldn’t¹⁰ that be grand and gay?

Rhoda—

Jake,¹ Jake, I’ve ben thinkin’

That upon yon³ Christmas tree,

Hangs a present from your sweetheart¹¹,

Something nice¹² it’s sure to be.

Jacob—

Rhody⁴, Rhody, I’ve been thinkin’

That there hangs on that¹³ ere tree,

A leetle¹⁴ box for my young sweetheart.

Cost a quarter¹⁵. Yes-sir-ree!

(Both sing chorus, as before.)

Rhoda—

Jake¹⁶, Jake, I’ve ben thinkin’

If a ring¹⁷ the thing should be,

It¹⁸ would be the finest Christmuss,

That has ever come to me.

Jake—

Rhody¹⁹, Rhody, you have guessed it.

’Tis a fine brass ring, you’ll see,

With a big red stun set in it,

Jest to bind you unto me.

(Chorus as before.)

Rhoda—

Jake²⁰, Jake, when we’re wedded,

Will you keep each Christmas Day?

Jake—

No, by hemlock!²¹ In my wallet,²²

All my money then will stay.

(Chorus.)

Rhoda—

Then²³ you’d better keep your ring, sir,

I’ll not have a stingy man!

Jake—

’Tis a frugal wife I’m wanting.

Rhoda—

Jest you find²⁴ one if you can.

Both—

Too²⁵-ra-loo-ra-loo-ra-laddie,