Transcriber's notes

Minor punctuation inconsistencies have been silently corrected. A [list] of other changes made can be found at the end of the book.

The
King of Gee-Whiz

They flew on and on Page 128

The King of Gee-Whiz

By Emerson Hough
Author of The Mississippi Bubble
The Law of the Land, etc.

With Lyrics by
Wilbur D. Nesbit
Author of The Trail to Boyland, etc.

Illustrated by
Oscar E. Cesare

Indianapolis
The Bobbs-Merrill Company
Publishers

Copyright 1906
By Emerson Hough

PRESS OF
BRAUNWORTH & CO.
BOOKBINDERS AND PRINTERS
BROOKLYN, N. Y.

Contents

The
King of Gee-Whiz

CHAPTER I

THE WIDOW PICKLE'S TWINS AND THEIR PECULIAR HAIR

Once, several years ago, there lived in a city far from the sea-shore a widow by the name of Mrs. Pickle, who had Twins named Zuzu Pickle and Lulu Pickle. At first glance, these Twins seemed much like ordinary twins in appearance. Both had blue eyes, pretty curved lips, and rosy cheeks; and as they were quite alike in size, it may seem that, like many other twins, they must have been hard to tell apart. Such, however, was not the case. Indeed, they could not well be confused with each other, for, aside from the fact that Zuzu was a boy and Lulu a girl, one had green hair and the other blue. This peculiar color of their hair made them quite different from most twins, and led to a great many strange circumstances, some of which are described in this story.

The father of these Twins was Aurelius Pickle, an innocent and good man, who for many years was known as a very skilful chemist. Like many other chemists, he wasted a great deal of time in doing things which did not bring in any money. For instance, he worked many years on a compound intended to change a person's hair from any color to a rich, dark brown or to a deep and shining auburn, at will. Aurelius Pickle was a poor man, and hence did not have the means for his researches that he desired. He often told his wife that it was fortunate they had Twins with such long hair, for thus he could make all the experiments for the Twofold-tint Compound, which was what he intended to call the hair-coloring fluid on which he was working. Whenever he made a new kettleful of this, he would try it on the long rich hair of the Twins.

At last he hit upon two new mixtures, one or the other of which he felt sure would be just the thing. He tried one on the hair of Lulu and the other on that of Zuzu. To his great surprise, the hair of Zuzu became a fine pale green, while that of Lulu turned at the same time to a pale blue, much the color of the ribbons around the neck of a new baby.

The Twins, seeing themselves in the glass, were much pleased with their appearance, and said they felt sure no one in town had hair like theirs; which in all likelihood was true. With their father, however, it was quite otherwise. Indeed, what he thought was never fully known. He was taken suddenly ill, and sank back upon his couch, where he rapidly became worse, and could get no further than to ask his children to call their mother. When she appeared, Aurelius Pickle smiled feebly and motioned her toward the cupboard where he kept his Chemical Substances. He could do no more.

This, in brief, is how there came to be such a person as the Widow Pickle. It is not unusual for widows to have Twins, but seldom could be found such Twins as these.

CHAPTER II

THE WIDOW PICKLE'S STRANGE VISITOR

So badly did the Widow Pickle feel over the peculiar color of her Twins' hair that for a long time she forgot to obey her husband's last wish and look in the cupboard. At last, however, she bethought herself of this request and hastened to the place where Aurelius Pickle had kept his Chemical Substances.

She found several strange-looking boxes, with all sorts of powders and pastes in them, but with no names on the backs to tell what were their contents. She feared to make any experiments, lest she might stain her own hair either blue or green or some other unfashionable color; so all she could do was to look and wonder what was in the boxes. After several days, she concluded to mix some different powders together. She took one small box with a red cover and another that had a black cover, and, pouring small portions of the powder from each of these on a plate, she began to stir the two together.

Nothing happened for some moments. "Chemistry is rather hard, after all," said the Widow Pickle to herself. "I thought that all there was to it was stirring things together. I formerly noticed that when my poor dear husband did that, something nearly always happened."

At last, disappointed that nothing had happened, she went to the match-box. "Perhaps," said she, "if I touch a match to it something will happen." She did so, and, to her great surprise, something did happen, and that at once.

A cloud of heavy vapor filled the room, and as it cleared away the Widow Pickle saw standing there, bowing and smiling very pleasantly, a little dark man, whom at first she took to be a Japanese. He had black hair, rolled very tight on the top of his head; small feet, incased in boots with long up-turned toes; and a loose flowing mantle of red satin. His hands were small, and his little black eyes twinkled merrily.

"Madam, I believe you have sent for me," he remarked.

"Indeed, I did not," said the Widow Pickle. "Moreover, I don't know who you are. Whence do you come, sir, and why do you intrude without invitation?"

"Who should I be," said the little man, still smiling pleasantly, "but the Private Secretary and Court Musician of the royal monarch of the Island, the King of Gee-Whiz?"

"The King of Gee-Whiz?" said the Widow Pickle. "I never heard of such a person."

"Then, madam," replied the little man sternly, "grant me leave to tell you that you must be an extraordinarily ignorant person. Every one of consequence knows of his Royal Highness, who rules our Island."

"And, pray, what do you have in your Island, little man?" asked the Widow Pickle scornfully.

"Many things," replied the strange little man, "more than I should like to tell you all at once."

"Gold, perhaps?" asked the Widow.

"I believe it is called gold—a very common metal, indeed."

"Pray, then, what do you use for rings?" asked the Widow, hiding her hands under her apron.

"We usually make them out of our smaller diamonds," replied the little man carelessly. "There are, however, more precious stones. For instance, there is Lapis Malazite, a very fashionable blue gem; and Lapis Corazine, an emerald-green jewel. Blue and green, madam, are our favorite colors."

"How strange!" exclaimed the Widow Pickle. And then she told of the manner in which the hair of her Twins had been permanently colored by some of her husband's Chemical Substances.

"That is very singular," said the little man. "All I can say is that if their hair is the real malazite blue and the correct corazine green, they could have anything they like in the Land of Gee-Whiz; for these are the Royal Hereditary Colors. But, really, I must be going. I rarely ever stay away more than an hour at a time."

As he spoke, he stepped toward the window, but in doing so he gave his mantle a slight twitch to one side. As he did this, he displayed to the curious gaze of the Widow Pickle a strangely-carved Banjo, whose supporting ribbon was swung over his shoulders. The Banjo was of ivory and gold, and the pegs for tightening the strings were of shining gold.

"Stay!" cried the Widow. "I have never seen so beautiful an instrument as that. I am sure you play it well; and as for me, I dote upon the banjo."

"Madam," smiled the little man, "I see your taste is excellent."

CHAPTER III

THE ENCHANTED BANJO

The Widow Pickle asked the stranger to allow her to examine the Banjo, and he did so willingly. About this time, the Twins, Lulu and Zuzu, ran into the room; and very soon they were leaning at their mother's knee, with their chins in their hands, ready to listen to the music. At first, the stranger did not look at them intently, but when he did so he started back with an exclamation of surprise. At that moment, also, something strange seemed to happen in the Banjo. The Widow Pickle looked down at it suddenly. She felt the strings move beneath her fingers. At this, she arose and almost flung the instrument upon the table. To her great surprise, it began playing gaily and cheerfully, just as well, and, indeed, perhaps better, than it would have done had it been operated by the Widow Pickle herself. The song which the Banjo sang was something like this:

MALAZITE BLUE AND CORAZINE GREEN

O, Malazite Blue and Corazine Green!
Such wonderful colors I never have seen,
Except, in the sky
At a million miles high
Is the Malazite Blue for delighting the eye.

And Corazine Green is splendidly fair
When tinting the ringlets and curls of your hair—
It comes, if you please,
From the leaves of the trees
When they are made bright by the brush of the breeze.

Oh, barrels and barrels of Malazite Blue,
And barrels of Corazine Green, it is true
Are used every year
Just to keep the sky clear
And to tint all the leaves when they have to appear.

"Well, I never heard anything in the world like that," said the Widow Pickle. "An Enchanted Banjo, that can play by itself! Surely, this house is haunted, my children, since your poor father died! But what a situation for a lone widow to be in here in a great city, with blue- and green-haired Twins, an utter stranger, and an Enchanted Banjo, which plays by itself, and sings about the peculiar hair of my dear Twins! I always said that your poor dear father, although good, was not a practical man."

She looked at the Banjo as it lay upon the table. To her great surprise, she saw it take itself apart before her eyes. It lay there in two pieces, the neck quite apart from the head. Of course, in that position it ceased playing, and, indeed, one could have expected nothing else, for even an Enchanted Banjo can not play when it is in two pieces.

CHAPTER IV

THE SEARCH IN THE CUPBOARD

Now, presently, a very strange thing happened. The Twins, Lulu and Zuzu, stood at the edge of the table grieving very much that the Banjo was broken. Each put out a hand, Lulu touching the neck of the instrument, where, in her opinion, the music was, and Zuzu the round part or head, where he thought that the music was situated. To their great surprise, as they did this the Banjo again began to play, the two parts joining themselves together as good as new. So long as they held it in this way, it played the most beautiful and wonderful music. Stranger still, after it had finished playing, it began also to talk.

"I am the Enchanted Banjo of the King of Gee-Whiz," it said in a small, distinct, and quite unmistakable voice. "I only take myself apart to rest myself; but if you put me together again, of course I feel obliged to play for you, as that is only common politeness on my part."

"Is that indeed the truth, sir?" asked the Widow Pickle of the little dark man.

"It is," said he; "and I myself am the Court Musician, as I have said. It is my duty to furnish music for the King every day at half-past two in the afternoon, and I find a self-playing instrument a great convenience. Now, I am sorry to disturb you, but, by the way, it is nearly time for us to be returning."

"Excuse me, my children," remarked the Enchanted Banjo, "but you are holding my neck very tight."

At this, Lulu and Zuzu released their hold, and with a sigh of relief the Banjo again lay in two pieces on the table.

"Now, children, see what you have done!" exclaimed the Widow Pickle. "The Banjo is broken again."

"Never mind," said the Private Secretary, "it will always play when the two hold it together. Besides, it can not resist the Royal Hereditary Colors, madam, for these are very powerful in our Island."

"In truth," said the Widow Pickle, "I am of a mind myself to go to this wonderful place of which you talk. I would like to seek my fortune and that of my Twins. Have you credibly informed me that Twins with malazite-and corazine-colored hair would have a good chance in that country?"

"I have told you the truth," said the little dark man; "but I must say it is very far from here to the Island of Gee-Whiz, some hundreds of thousands of miles across the seas."

"Then, sir, how did you come here yourself?"

"I came by the Gee-Whiz Submarine Express," replied the Private Secretary. "How else should I come?"

"Alas! I don't know what you mean," said the Widow Pickle at this.

"Not know, madam? Why, you have all the means for summoning the Submarine Express directly at your command."

"Where? where?" asked the Widow excitedly.

The little man pointed at the cupboard where the late Aurelius Pickle had been accustomed to keep his Chemical Substances.

"Why, to be sure," said the Widow Pickle, "it must be in the cupboard, for it was there I found the two strange powders which went off with a flash."

By this time, the Twins were dancing around the room in excitement, running toward the cupboard, which had never seemed so full of interest before, even in their hungriest moments.

"Are you ready for your journey, madam?" asked the Private Secretary.

"I declare, I've more than half a mind to learn what all this means," said the Widow Pickle.

"Get us ready for the journey, mamma," cried the Twins, as though it were all settled.

"Very well," said the Widow, "we may as well be prepared for anything that may happen. First let me comb your Royal Hereditary Hair. Lulu, go fetch me the blue comb, and you, Zuzu, get the pale-green one, on top of the dresser, at the right hand as you go in. I can not help feeling," said the Widow Pickle, as she combed the long, wavy hair of her two children, "as though something was going to happen."

At that moment the Enchanted Banjo, held once more by the joyful Twins, began this remarkable song:

SOMETHING'S GOING TO HAPPEN

Such a squidgy feeling in my bones!
Such a tingling tangling of my hair!
Something whispers now in warning tones
That it will be best if I take care.
I keep looking out on either side,
Watching for just what I do not know—
Will it sit, or stand, or walk, or ride?
Wonder will it come, or will it go?

Something's sure to happen—
Oh, what can it be?
Something, something, something
Keeps on warning me.
I shiver and I quiver,
I tremble and I bow—
Something's sure to happen!
When? And where? And how?

Don't know how I know it! But I know
By the creepy feeling of my skin,
By my eyes that keep on winking so,
By the shaky shiver of my chin.
Something tells me to be looking out;
Something will not tell me what to do—
Something's sure to happen; there's no doubt!
Wonder will it be to me, or you?

Something's sure to happen—
Oh, what will it be?
Something, something, something
Keeps on warning me.
I quiver and I shiver,
I shake and shake again—
Something's sure to happen!
What? And how? And when?

She found several strange-looking boxes Page 4

CHAPTER V

THE GEE-WHIZ SUBMARINE EXPRESS

The Widow Pickle kept studying over matters and things as she combed the Twins' hair with the blue and green combs. She began to think, as a great many widows do, that after all her husband had perhaps been a very wonderful man, and better than she had thought at the time. She wished very much, as many widows do, that her husband were alive again for a few moments. She wished to ask him just one more question. We need not explain what that question would have been, for any one could guess that it would have been in regard to Chemical Substances.

At last, she arose and went to the glass door of the cupboard and began looking carefully behind the dishes on the shelves. At length she saw a little box, which she had not noticed before.

"Aha!" cried the Widow Pickle, "I am sure this is the powder which you mean. Is it not so, little man?"

The latter refused either to speak or to make any sign.

"I will try it, anyhow," said the Widow Pickle. So she poured some of the powder from this box upon a plate and began touching a lighted match to it. To her great surprise, the powder burst out into a cloud of smoke, and when the smoke had cleared away, she saw, lying upon the plate, a small but perfect little ship, the like of which she had never seen before in all her life. It was something like a steamboat, except that it was covered over entirely with glass. At the stern it had a large wheel, evidently to make it go, and it had other wheels along the bottom, like feet upon a sofa. Its bow was curved up and backward sharply, something like the front of a sled, and its sides were gently rounded so that it could slip along easily. The deck was quite roofed over by this curved-glass shield, for what reason the Widow could not tell. Indeed, although she guessed at once that this was a boat of some sort, she could not tell what sort it was.

"Well, I'd like to know—" began the Widow Pickle.

"What was it you were about to inquire, my good woman?" asked the Private Secretary.

"Why, what should I inquire, my good man," replied the Widow, "if not to ask what is this thing here on the plate?"

"That, madam," said the Private Secretary, "is a boat."

"A boat? A boat?"

The Private Secretary nodded.

"Can't you read the name?" he asked.

So the Widow Pickle peered closely through her glasses and saw that there was a name printed in small shining letters on one end of the boat. "The Gee-Whiz Submarine Express!" cried the Widow. "But, alack! how small it is. Why, it is not as long as my foot, and I was always thought in my time to have a very small foot, too!"

The Private Secretary smiled in a knowing manner.

"Perhaps, mamma," said Zuzu, "you have overlooked something in some other box."

"Zuzu, you have a good mind for one so young," said his mother. "I will look in the cupboard again." So again she began rummaging around, and at length she found another box, a square one, covered over with dust, showing that it had not been opened for a long time. The first box had held a pale-blue powder, but this one was filled nearly to the lid with a light-green powder. On the top of this box, written in the hand of Aurelius Pickle, was the inscription, "Magic Powder of Gee-Whiz." When the Widow Pickle saw this, she gave an exclamation of joy.

CHAPTER VI

THE JOURNEY THROUGH THE AIR

"Hurry, hurry, mamma!" cried the Twins. "Let us go."

"But how can we go?" asked the Widow Pickle of the Private Secretary, as she stood holding the second box of powder in her hand.

"I suggest, madam," said the Private Secretary, "that you might put a little of the first powder, the blue one, in the engine."

The Widow Pickle placed a pinch of the pale-blue powder upon a certain portion of the little boat, and, to her great surprise, it began to grow before her eyes.

It grew and it grew, slowly but steadily, until it was large enough for either of the Twins to get into. In a moment more it would have been too large to pass out of the window; and as the Widow Pickle saw this, she was about to brush off the rest of the powder.

"Stop!" cried the Private Secretary. "The window will not make the slightest difference in the world. Quick, madam! Get in with the second box, or it will be too late."

Indeed, the engine inside the boat now began to churn, and a strange, brilliant sort of blue smoke began to hiss at the spouts near the wheel. The boat, for such it can be called, began to crawl on its feet across the floor toward the window. The Private Secretary grasped the Enchanted Banjo and with a bound sprang into the boat. The Widow, holding on to the remaining box of powder, and grasping the Twins also with the other hand, sprang aboard quickly. The Private Secretary then snapped down the glass all around.

To her great surprise, the Widow Pickle found the boat quite large enough for all four of them, and even as she settled down comfortably in her seat the boat rose slowly and, with a slight hissing of the strange blue steam at the wheel, it passed directly out and through the window, just as though it were not there, and sailed off across the tops of the tall buildings toward the sea.

"Oh, Mr. Secretary," cried the Widow Pickle, "how very much startled I am!"

"Madam," replied the Private Secretary, "there is no need to be startled. It is very well, however, that you got the second box from among the Chemical Substances of the late Aurelius Pickle."

"Why should that be so?" asked the Widow. "You must remember that I am in the dark about many of these things. It seems very strange to me to be thus flying off across the city. For all we know, we may drop directly into the sea before long."

"That is true," said the Private Secretary, chuckling. "In fact, that is precisely what we shall do within two minutes. And that is the reason I am glad you have the green powder with you. That, you must understand, is our fuel for water travel; for without that we could not possibly get up any green steam, and surely you must know that with a boat of this particular kind, blue steam may be all very well for the air, but it is of no service whatever under the water."

"That," said the Widow Pickle, "seems a most singular thing."

"Many things which now seem strange to you," replied the Private Secretary, "will presently seem quite natural. You must remember to put a little of the green powder under the boiler the moment we strike the water; but whatever you do, you must not put the green powder in before we reach the water."

"Why, what will happen then?" asked Zuzu.

"You would better not try to find out," said the Private Secretary, smiling. "But now, madam, first put in a little more of the blue powder. I see we are passing near the moon, and, if I mistake not, the face of the moon is unusually clean to-night. I see that little Lucy Green has been at work. You do not know how that can be? Perhaps the Enchanted Banjo will tell you. Put it together, my dears, and see if it will not."

So Lulu and Zuzu held the Banjo as before, and to their great surprise it told them how the moon had its face cleaned.

LITTLE LUCY GREEN

Oh, have you never heard the reason why the moon is clean?
Once on a time there was a girl whose name was Lucy Green;
She saw the moon was dirty and was very far from bright,
She raised her hands in horror, and exclaimed: "My, what a sight!"
And then she got some polish, and a ladder, and she climbed
Till she reached the moon that drifted, spotted, dusty, and begrimed.

UP!
clum'
she
and
clim'
she
Oh,

Then she scoured the moon with polish and she cleaned it of its rust,
And she took a cloth and rubbed it till it hadn't any dust;
And the good old moon grew happy when its face began to shine
And the little girl was merry, and she said: "Now, you look fine!"
Then she took her can of polish, and her cloth, and then she found
That the moonbeams made her ladder seem like gold from sky to ground.

Oh,
she
clim'
and
she
clum'
DOWN!

CHAPTER VII

THE JOURNEY THROUGH THE WATER

"Now we will drop down from the sky a way," said the little dark man, "and I hope soon to show you some other interesting things. But, madam, you must be ready to throw the green powder into the engine the moment I tell you to do so."

Even as he spoke, the boat began to descend, and now struck the water with a soft splash. "Quick! the green powder now!" cried the little dark man. At that instant, the Widow Pickle tossed a pinch of the green powder into the furnace door, and, to her great surprise, the little ship settled down gently, the steam changed from blue to green in color, and the wheels began to turn around with a motion which sent the boat forward very quickly.

"Mamma, mamma," cried Zuzu, "we are sinking! Look! We are going down!"

Lulu also was very much excited, but the Private Secretary smilingly reassured them.

"Of course," he said. "Did you suppose the Gee-Whiz Express would run upon the top of the water like any ordinary steamboat? Any one can build a boat like that."

"But we'll all be drowned," cried the Widow Pickle.

"Not in the least," said the Private Secretary. "We are five hundred feet beneath the surface of the sea at this present moment, and if we were going to be drowned we should have begun to feel strange long ago. Evidently, madam, you forgot the glass which covers us over. We can see through it distinctly, but it won't let any water in. I am sure we shall enjoy our voyage very much. Moreover, we have with us the Enchanted Banjo, and it will play for us whenever the Royal Heirs are so good as to assist it."

The Banjo seemed to be in a jolly mood as well as the Royal Heirs, for as soon as the Twins grasped it together it rattled off at once into the following jingle:

SONG OF THE ENCHANTED BANJO

Once I was but a banjo of the ordinary sort
Until a minstrel played me for the pleasure of the court,
And quite by accident he struck the sweet and simple tune
The Fairies love the dearest when they dance beneath the moon.
Oh, it was most amazing, when to every one's surprise
The Queen of all the Fairies came to view before their eyes!

They gazed upon the Fairy Queen, and she smiled back at them
She wore a robe of woven gold, with silver on the hem,
Her wings were set with diamonds and made of golden gauze,
And she was quite the finest Fairy Queen that ever was.
She stopped before the royal court and held her place alone,
Then bowed and gracefully sat down before the Royal Throne.

The Fairy Queen then waved her wand; the minstrel stepped away,
And I, suspended in the air, at once began to play;
I played them all the Fairy tunes that ever have been made,
And everybody knew the words to everything I played.
I played before the Fairy Queen, and did my best, you see—
And therefore I enchanted her, then she enchanted me.

"Now let's play we are pirates!" cried Zuzu.

"Very well," said the Private Secretary. "The Banjo knows that a great many people feel like playing pirate, so perhaps it will sing of one or two." The Banjo then played for them the following melody:

THE PIRATICAL JUNE-BUG

A June-bug once went out to sea—
Yo-ho, my lads, yo-ho!—
With sails aspread and helm alee—
Yo-ho, my lads, yo-ho!
He had a long, low, rakish boat;
He wore a shining overcoat;
He hummed and grumbled in his throat—
Yo-ho! the wild winds blow!

This bold June-bug he said, said he:—
"Yo-ho, my lads, yo-ho!
A pirate's life is the life for me!
Yo-ho, my lads, yo-ho!"
He roamed about the ocean blue
And bossed his rumbling, stumbling crew,
And sought for wicked things to do.
Yo-ho, the wild winds blow!

Now when a June-bug heaves in sight—
Yo-ho, my lads, yo-ho!
You'll notice it is full of fight—
Yo-ho, my lads, yo-ho!
When it sails by, with curve and dip,
And strikes the wall with bang and "bip!"
It's dreaming of its pirate ship—
Yo-ho, the wild winds blow!
Yo-ho!
Yo-ho, my lads, yo-ho!

The submarine boat went ahead very rapidly all this time, dropping down until at length it struck the bottom at a depth of several thousand feet. Fortunately, it landed at a place where there was smooth, white sand so that no damage was done; and it at once began to run along the bottom of the sea.

"I would rather go on through the water the way we were," said Lulu, "and not on the bottom, for I find it much more bumpy in this way."

"True," said the Private Secretary, "but by journeying upon the bottom we are not so apt to get lost as though we tried to go directly through the water. If you will observe, we are now following the main traveled road to the Island of Gee-Whiz, and if all goes well we shall hardly lose our way. I need not explain to you that to be lost in the middle of the ocean, two or three thousand feet below the surface, is one of the worst things that can happen to a person. But don't think we are going slowly, because we are making at least a hundred miles an hour, as you may tell by looking at the scenery we pass."

"And very beautiful the scenery is," said the Widow Pickle. "Look, my children, at the trees and the hills; and yonder is a high mountain all of coral, if I am not mistaken."

"Quite right," said the Private Secretary. "This is one of the best places in the world for coral beads, and if we had time we could get all we wished."

"Look, look, mamma!" cried Lulu, "isn't that a whale?"

The Widow Pickle stopped to put on her glasses, and the Private Secretary answered for her. "Yes," said he, "that is a whale, and a very good one. See, it means to swim us a race."

The great whale was now swimming alongside, its vast jaws working convulsively, and its tail in such rapid motion that long white sparks flew from its extremity.

"Poor fellow," said the Private Secretary, "he thinks, as you do, that we are not going very fast. See him perspire! I can tell him now that he might as well drop behind, for the Gee-Whiz Submarine Express is much the fastest thing that swims the deep."

"But what is that out there, mamma?" cried Zuzu, whose nose was pressed flat against the glass.

"That," said the Widow Pickle, "is something so strange that I have not the slightest idea what it may be."

"It is a Flying Nautilus," explained the Private Secretary, "a very beautiful creature, which has wings like sails, but it can not sail with us; and yonder, I see, is a Goroo; but even the Goroo will find that we go too fast for it."

The Goroo now swam alongside for some time. It was a long, slender monster, with a body something like that of a snake and a long, tapering head, from which two horns arose and fell back gracefully over its shoulders. Its eyes were very large and prominent, and it had four or five fierce whiskers on each side of its mouth, all of which were bright pink in color. It had twelve fins along its back, which enabled it to swim very rapidly indeed.

"The Goroo," said the Private Secretary, "is often by mortals called a sea-serpent, and this fact causes us who live in Gee-Whiz considerable amusement, because we know that it is not a sea-serpent, but a Goroo. It would eat a man if it had a chance, but it can not harm us so long as we are in the boat.

"See," he continued, "that short fat-looking animal we have just passed is a Calabite, a very rare and odd fish, which lives entirely upon fresh oysters. It cracks the oyster shells with its long teeth, just as you do hazelnuts, and it eats so many that often fishermen wonder where all their oysters have gone. If the truth were known, it would very probably be found a Calabite had eaten them.

"That large creature with a long mane and six legs on each side," he resumed, "is a Talapud, a creature never seen in any menagerie, so far as I know. It can travel very fast indeed, but though it has six legs on each side, it is very lazy, so that it rarely exerts its full speed. We shall, no doubt, pass it easily.

"There, also, is a Naugalook, that bird-like thing, which also swims with wings instead of fins. As you see, it has a very wide and cruel beak, and many a fish it eats each year. It is the eagle of the sea, and very dangerous to meet unarmed, on account of its great size and ferocity.

"The Waugog, as you may observe, is a sort of turtle. There are two just coming out of their holes; stupid things, who think of nothing but eating, and can travel scarcely faster than a turtle upon the land. A full-grown Waugog is as large as a church, and should we run against one at full speed, it would jar the boat very much. You will see, madam, that travel underneath the sea is not without interest."

"I should say not," said the Widow Pickle; "quite the opposite, indeed, and I am very glad to have my children thus improve their education."

"There is one thing I should like to ask," said Zuzu, "and I have often wondered about it."

"And what is that?" asked the Private Secretary.

"I wonder how the fishes ever go to sleep."

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"That," replied the Private Secretary, "is something over which many wise men have also wondered. I have often heard the Banjo on our sea journeys express the same curiosity. Perhaps it will tell us about that."

At his suggestion the Banjo sang a little song.

HOW THE LITTLE FISHES SLEEP

I often wonder how and where
The little fishes sleep;
They do not need to braid their hair
Before they slumber deep,
But possibly each little fish
Puts on a little gown
And goes to bed—and Oh, I wish
I knew where it lies down.

I wonder if it tumbles round
And kicks the covers off
And wakes at every little sound,
Or—does it have a cough?
I think it would, for mamma says,
When she turns down my lamp
I'll get the croup one of these days
From staying in the damp.

But maybe little fishes go
To sleep as you or I;
Waves rock the cradle to and fro
And sing a bye-lo-bye.
If they wear gowns, though—goodness me!
When washing-day is here
Where do they dry things in the sea?
I wish you'd make that clear!

"Humph! The Banjo doesn't seem to know any more about it than we do," said Zuzu, not fully satisfied.

"No," the Private Secretary replied; "that is true; but for some of these hard questions we may have to go to the Fairies for answer, and it is some distance yet before we get anywhere near the Fairy country."

"How far have we gone now, sir?" asked Zuzu.

"That," replied the Private Secretary, "is difficult to explain, for you must see that we do not measure distances as you do. However, I should think it would take us perhaps three or four more of what you call your hours before we are within sight of the Island of Gee-Whiz. We must first pass the Agalone Mountains. Indeed, it seems to me that I see that mountain range now beginning to appear before us."

CHAPTER VIII

THE EXPLOSION OF THE SUBMARINE EXPRESS

"We must be sure to strike the right road through the Agalone Mountains," said the Private Secretary, peering out through the glass, "because a great many boats get lost hereabouts in the long and winding path. Even were it possible for any mortal to get thus far toward our country, it would be very difficult to trace the way through the Agalone Mountains, which are very high and precipitous indeed. Moreover, to render the road even more difficult to follow, we occasionally have these mountains moved a few hundred leagues from side to side, so that not even the boldest mariner from your country could tell a thing about it if he tried to follow us."

"It is a wonder to me that no one has ever found this Island of Gee-Whiz," said the Widow Pickle.

"Believe me, madam, it is practically impossible," replied the Private Secretary. "Many have sought to discover the Island of Gee-Whiz on account of its great riches, but no one has ever yet done so. Were it not for the fact that these Twins, the Prince and Princess, have corazine and malazite hair, it is scarcely likely that you yourself would ever have seen our Island.

"But now," he resumed, "it is nearly time I should go aloft and look ahead. To me it seems that these mountains do not look so entirely familiar as they should."

"Go aloft?" inquired the Widow. "How can you go aloft? Do you mean to the surface of the sea?"

"Of course," said the Private Secretary. "I can see the Island at a much greater distance from the surface of the sea. As for going aloft, that is perfectly simple. I set this pole in the holes which run up and down through the top and bottom of the boat, like the place for a mast in a sail-boat, and I then attach the clutches of this machine here to the pole and set the engine going up and down instead of backward and forward. In that way, as you shall presently see, the boat will begin to climb up the pole, like a boy after birds' nests. But now, madam, let me request you to stand near the furnace door; and when I give the word, put in a pinch more of the green powder to keep up the steam, for it is far harder to climb straight up than it is to go straight ahead, for the boat is flat on top and not pointed as it is at the end."

As the Private Secretary spoke, he arranged the clutches of the machinery as he had said, and, to their great surprise, the boat began to climb up the pole at a rate which left no doubt that they would very soon be at the surface of the sea.

"Now," cried the Private Secretary, "put in the powder, quick!"

The Widow Pickle, in a great hurry, took a pinch of powder and cast it under the grate as she had done before. This was where she made a great mistake, which afterward brought upon her much criticism; for, instead of putting in the green powder, which belonged to the sea, in her hurry she cast in a pinch of the blue powder, which was correct for use in the air, but not in the water. As she did this, at once there was a blinding cloud of smoke and a deafening explosion, which shook the sea like a volcanic eruption. The boat flew quite to pieces, as though it had been built of cardboard. In a moment, they were blown violently into the air beyond the surface of the ocean.

CHAPTER IX

THE ARRIVAL AT THE ISLAND

As the boat was blown from under them, the passengers thought the end had come and that they must be drowned far beneath the sea; and only the great skill and presence of mind of the Private Secretary prevented their meeting this fate. But as they were starting upward, carried by the violence of the explosion, the Private Secretary caught at the rack where the life-preservers were hanging, and so saved their lives. As they reached the surface he handed each a life-preserver, and soon they were all swimming safely on the surface of a placid green sea.

"Madam," said the Private Secretary sternly, "that we are not all killed is no fault of yours. Such carelessness deserves the utmost punishment, for now our boat is gone."

"I am innocent," cried the Widow Pickle, "for I did just what you told me to do, I am sure. I threw in the powder; and indeed it seems to me that was what made the explosion."

"Precisely," said the Private Secretary. "You put in the wrong powder. You used the malazite instead of the corazine—I know it as well as though I had seen you do it myself."

"That is quite true," said the Widow Pickle, "but I thought—"

"It is of no consequence what you thought," said the Private Secretary. "But, for that matter, it is of no use to argue over it now. We are here, and lucky it is we are not drowned. Happily for us, we have been blown some miles forward on our way, quite over the Agalone Mountains, and shall be able to swim the remaining distance without trouble. Yonder are the shores of the Island now, only about a mile away."

It was as he said. They swam after him, and soon there appeared a wide white beach, flanked with stately palms, among which they saw rising the white towers and domes of a stately city. Toward this they swam as vigorously as they might, and in course of time stepped upon the hard white sand of the beach and knew that their journey was over.

"I am very sorry that we lost the boat," said the Widow Pickle, "but I am extremely glad that we are here, for I couldn't have swum another mile to save my life. My life-preserver belt was very tight. But what a pretty spot this is! I am sure we shall like this place very much indeed, and I am glad we came. Look, is not that some one coming down the beach to meet us?"

"That," said the Private Secretary, "is none less than his Majesty himself, the King of Gee-Whiz!"

CHAPTER X

THE KING OF GEE-WHIZ

As the King approached them, it was easy to see that he was indeed a very important person; for all the people fell down upon their faces before him and made a slow deep salutation, much as though you should say "Ah-h-h!" in this way, with a very deep breath. To this respectful greeting the Monarch made no return whatever. The Widow Pickle noticed this.

"I see that you are not fully acquainted with Monarchs," said the Private Secretary, "or at least I should say with Monarchs such as ours. At times he is even more absent-minded than he now appears. I have known him to order half a dozen of his best friends to be banished for some slight offense, and then to forget it before luncheon of that same day, and ask for them again, just as though nothing had happened."

"That," said the Widow Pickle, "seems to me a very unusual sort of thing to do. I should like to see him banish me if I did not feel like being banished at the time!"

"You will pardon me," said the Private Secretary, "but it appears to me that you must be an extraordinarily ignorant person, for banishing persons, or even cutting off their heads, in a fit of absent-mindedness, is a part of the daily routine of any truly royal king, and his loyal subjects are very fond of both. If they were not, they could not be called truly loyal subjects; and what is the use of being a subject unless one is a truly loyal subject, madam?"

"That," said the Widow Pickle, "is a very difficult question."

"I thought you would find it such," replied the Private Secretary. "But tell me, is not our King a very royal person? And I may add that he is as kindly a king as ever sat on a throne. Once in a while, he does something which indicates a slight loss of temper; but how could you blame him, with his poor stomach, and with his love affair with the Fairy Queen, as well, to trouble him? It is quite enough to upset any king in the world, I am sure."

"His stomach?" said the Widow Pickle. "And the Fairy Queen? Well, the poor King, after all, may be quite like other men. I remember that my poor dear husband, Aurelius Pickle, used to have just such times with his stomach. Why, at times, he could eat nothing in the world but some of my Waffles."

"Your Waffles? What are those?" asked the Private Secretary. "Are they anything new?"

"Well, I can't say as to that," replied the Widow Pickle, "for my grandmother taught me how to make them. But I may say with some pride that the Governor of our State once ate of my Waffles and asked for two more, and in my family that was considered very high praise, indeed. I should like to try one on your King, if he is troubled with his stomach."

"That might be quite a fine idea," said the Private Secretary, "and if you don't object, I shall place the matter before his Royal Highness. I have never seen this that you call a Waffle, but if it will make the King forget his royal trouble it may be very much better for him and for all the rest of us."

"I should be very glad, indeed, to be of any slight assistance that I may," said the Widow Pickle modestly.

"But, hush!" whispered the Private Secretary. "He is coming this way. May I suggest that just as he steps across that white line which you see marked upon the ground, you make him a deep reverence? I think you call it a courtesy in your country."

"Very well," said the Widow Pickle, "but I shall do no more than courtesy, and shall not make it too deep even in that case, for I myself come of a very proud family."

"Hush!" whispered the Private Secretary again. And now the King came forward, fixing upon them the keen glance of his royal eye. Seeing this, Lulu and Zuzu grasped their mother's gown in their hands and shrank back behind her, much frightened. The Private Secretary bowed flat upon the ground and began to say "Ah-h-h!" very fast.

The Widow courtesied as she was bid, looking up at the King. Indeed, she was willing to declare the King most extraordinary in appearance. He was about six feet or more in height, and very dark in complexion, almost coffee-brown in color, indeed. His hair, which was of a bright brick-dust red, was profuse, and stuck out around his head in a sort of fringe to the extent of two or three feet on each side. In his nose he wore a large ring, and his teeth shone as he opened his mouth, for in each tooth was set a fine large diamond. On his fingers were rings of highly-shining precious stones, like emeralds and diamonds and rubies, with others whose names the Widow could not guess. The King wore a garland of flowers about his neck, and carried in his hand a war club or heavy cane made of dark wood, with a large gold knob at the end, and set thickly with shining stones about the handle. His feet were clad in bright-red slippers, whose points turned up nearly to his knees. A rich cloak of spotted fur hung across his shoulders, although the climate was so warm that he really was in small need of fur; so he allowed it to fall back carelessly, confining it with a cord, which latter passed around his chest and shoulders. Around his neck also was hung a broad collar of cloth or leather, which was set as thick as it could hold with all manner of brilliant, shining stones. It was plainly to be seen that the Island of Gee-Whiz was a land very rich indeed in precious metals and gems, for the like of this display of gold and gems was never before seen in any country. As the Widow Pickle looked, she wondered where all these rich stones and all this gold came from; and mentally she made a resolution to discover this before very many days had passed.

CHAPTER XI

THE ROYAL HEREDITARY TWINS

"Madam," said the King, "who are you, if I may ask, and why do these young persons hide behind you? Let us have no delays and no excuses. If we are to get on in the least pleasantly, I beg you of all things to remember that I am King. And I need hardly state that the King of Gee-Whiz is something of a Monarch, if I may so express it."

"If it please your Majesty," said the Widow Pickle, "I am a Widow, and come from foreign parts."

"That," rejoined the King, "is a claim of no special distinction, for there are very many widows who come from foreign parts. Pray, whatever you do, don't bore me, for I am very easily bored, and when I am bored I am very bored indeed, as you will readily perceive a true King must be."

"That I can easily understand," said the Widow, "but I hope that my Twins will not bore you. Come, my children, and make your bow to the King."

In truth, it must be said that the Widow Pickle was more frightened at the King than she thought she was going to be.

"Yes," said the King, "let us see what your children look like."

At this, very much frightened, Zuzu and Lulu came out from behind their mother and bowed very low before the King, and they had the presence of mind to make the sound "Ah-h-h!" between their teeth as the Private Secretary and others had done. The King was pleased at this. But, at the next moment, he sprang back with an exclamation of surprise.

"What!" said he, "what is that I see? Is it possible that we have here two young persons with the Royal Hereditary Hair in true malazite blue and royal corazine green? Why, bless my soul and body, not since the reign of Gee-Whiz the Twelfth has a true double instance of this kind of hair been found in all our kingdom!"

"Do you like their hair, your Majesty?" asked the Widow Pickle.

"What a question!" exclaimed the King. "How can I help liking it? Did not the Royal Queen Mother of our family three thousand years ago have blue hair; and her husband, the reigning monarch, green? My dear madam, I look upon this as the most fortunate thing that has occurred during my entire reign. If I am not very much mistaken, we shall hear of strange and wonderful things before long."

"I am glad you like their hair," said the Widow Pickle proudly, "although I must say that in our country neither was considered a fashionable color."

"Yours must be a very strange country," said the King of Gee-Whiz, "and you must have associated with extraordinarily ignorant persons, not to know that blue and green are the finest colors in the world for hair. Really, never in my life have I seen such a delicate shade as this. I am so delighted that I shall at once, in accordance with the law of the Island, have this Prince and Princess measured for a brand-new throne each. Moreover, they shall each have one of the Fairy Wishing Wands, which are a part of the royal property. Whatever they wish they shall have three times a week—but of course no more, for that would not be lawful."

"Certainly not," said the Widow Pickle, although she did not in the least understand what all this was about.

"As to yourself, madam," resumed the Monarch, "although you claim to be the mother of these children, I do not observe that your own hair shows any token of the royal colors. In short, it is somewhat the color of my own. I regret to state that my hair, although once of a royal tint, was bleached by a sudden exposure to the sun by a careless nurse when I was young." He smiled sadly, but soon recovered. "This, however, shall not happen to this young Prince and Princess," he said, "for they shall have royal umbrellas and attendants to carry them when they walk abroad.

"Let me think," went on the King. "I forget what I was about to say. Was I going to banish you, my dear madam, or have you beheaded? Jiji, get up and tell me what I was going to say."

At this, the Private Secretary, who had been prostrate with his face upon the ground all this time, arose very quickly.

"Your Majesty," said he, "let me suggest that you neither banish nor behead this good lady. Her husband was a very remarkable man, a dealer in Chemical Substances. It was in this way, as I am assured, that he discovered the means of making a very wonderful dish known as the Waffle, which is considered to be a sovereign cure for what are called the high crimes and misdemeanors of the Royal Stomach."

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"It was not my husband," began the Widow Pickle indignantly; but the Private Secretary, bowing low, stepped in front of her, wriggling his hands behind him very hard.

"Her husband, your Majesty," said he quickly, "was a wonderful man. I have myself seen one of these Waffles, and they are extraordinarily fine to look upon, although I have never eaten one. That is reserved for royalty alone."

"I have eaten them often," exclaimed Zuzu.

"That," said the King, "is not remarkable, my dear, because you evidently are of royal blood. But, madam, tell me where can I get one of these Waffles to eat?"