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HARRY.

BY

Fanny Wheeler Hart

THE AUTHOR

OF

'MRS. JERNINGHAM'S JOURNAL'

FOURTH EDITION.

New York

MACMILLAN AND CO.

1877

DEDICATED TO

Menella Smedley,

AS A TINY TOKEN

OF

BOUNDLESS LOVE AND ADMIRATION.

HARRY.

PART I.

Love caught his heart in a lovely surprise,

Just the first moment he looked in my eyes:

Poor little eyes! by no prescience lit,

They saw him three weeks ere I lov'd him one bit.

Fair is the book[¹] where we read of a life

Born to a throne, taking love for its bliss,

Self-reproach wounding the sweet royal wife

For keeping two years he had asked for as his.

So I might suffer a sort of remorse,

Thinking of days that I cared not, yet knew;

Only, he says, ''Tis a matter of course

Girls should be woo'd and their lovers should woo.'

Only, the blossom he stoops not to touch.

Sparkling with beauty that lies at his feet;

Only, the blossom he coveteth much,

Is one that shineth as distant as sweet.

Only, a bird may fly helplessly near,

Chirping aloud in a manner too free;

Only, the bird he delighteth to hear,

Sings from the far-away top of a tree.

Is it for this he first fancied me, then?

He to whom earth her allegiance brings,

Noblest of nobles, a king among men,

Hero of heroes! a god among kings!

'Twill be very nice to be very old,

And with wrinkled brows and eyes that are dim,

To sit by the fire and in dreams behold

The face of the child that was woo'd by him.

Eve in her Eden, belov'd and preferr'd,

Sun, moon, and stars for her benefit made,

Bright as a blossom and gay as a bird,

Earth at her feet like a pleasure-ground laid;

All things about her benignant and fair—

Was she of Adam an actual part?

Love shining over her everywhere—

Had he no trouble in winning her heart?

Born with a mind even Kant must admit

Had no antecedents for doubt or regret,

Only white paper where nothing is writ,

Was she his wife the first moment they met?

Did she no gradual wooing receive?

Was she never a girl?—I am sorry for Eve!

Or if like others her history sped,

In those lovely regions to mortals unknown;

Flirting and courting and woo'd ere she wed,

Was the bird of her paradise Eve's chaperone?

I wonder if Adam my fancy would strike

As something like Harry!—What is Harry like?

Handsome and tall, with command in his eye,

The sweetest of smiles giving sternness the lie;

His soldierly bearing keeps foemen at bay;

His hair is clipped close in the orthodox way;

His nose has a curve from the bridge to the tip:

A statue might envy his short upper lip.

He dances divinely, and walks with an air

Half autocratic and half debonair,

With something about him no words can define:

Eve, was your hero as handsome as mine?

And oh! the years that pass'd over my head

When I was leisurely growing or grown;

And oh! the minutes that suddenly led

To the sweetest thought that ever was known.

Only one glad little glance that I gave,

Where by the window the passion-flower grew,

And a strong man was turn'd into a slave,

Watching and waiting for all that I do.

And a strong man's heart beat only for me—

Only for me while it answers life's call;

Till I was compell'd to hear and to see;

And only one little look did it all!

Oh, such an infinitesimal thing!

One unthought-of minute hurrying by,

And the whole of two lives yet in their spring

Are utterly chang'd for ever and aye!

If with idle heart and with careless eyes

I had not happened just there and just then

To smile at a flower beneath the skies,

Should I never have lov'd the first of men?

Had he seen me first in a festal hour,

Or riding, or driving, or by the sea,

And not with a smile for the passion-flower,

Would he never, never have cared for me?

Who planted the root, and its climbing plann'd?

Who water'd below or cherish'd above?

Is it the work of a gardener's hand

That causes my Harry and me to love?

Had that gardener never been born or hir'd,

Or done this one insignificant thing;

Had the passion-flower died;—my heart is tir'd

With the troublesome sudden thoughts that spring;

And mine eyes are filling with foolish tears,

And the pang that I feel is sharp and keen,

As I see the empty unhappy years,

And I think of all that might not have been.

* * * * *

Treason to love, that such thoughts should arise!

In Heaven I know our marriage was made;

Heaven is somewhere beyond those blue skies,

Why am I weeping and feeling afraid?

Happy the angels, who tenderly plan

These beautiful compacts to glorify man!

Happy the man and the woman who take

Humbly their crown for the dear angels' sake!

Love in our hearts giving strength to endure,

Eternal itself, makes eternity sure;

Earth growing perfect, unspeakably dear,

Only makes heaven seem yet more near.

Why do I tremble in fanciful doubt?

All things—or nothing—had brought it about;

Whatever might happen, I must be his;

What signifies talking, since so it is?

So there came the last of the careless days:

Did time in the very same manner move?

(My heart almost stops in a mute amaze

To think that it ever was not in love.)

Up in the morning, as gay as a lark,

With a glad good-bye to the pleasant night;

Without an idea I am in the dark,

Or that just beyond is the real light;

Running down stairs, with a laugh as I ran,

Free as 'the blossom that hangs on the bough'—

I never had given a thought to a man,

And why in the world should I give one now.

Dancing along through the hawthorn-crown'd lane,

'Neath showers of flowers whose name I bear,

Was it not strange I should find Harry Vane

Coming to meet me just then and just there?

Is it for this our two lives have been led,

Each travelling on its different way,

To meet with the blue sky over our head

Shaded by delicate blossoms of may?

Little reck'd I whom I happened to meet,

That I had a lover I never guess'd,

As I danc'd along with my careless feet,

And the heart of a child within my breast.

I had seen him a dozen times before,

With a pleasure that brought no sudden change;

I knew that he lik'd me—but nothing more:

O Harry! to think of it is so strange!

Sauntering on with the birds and the flowers,

Talking of things that we know or we knew—

Of the pretty wishes that once were ours

In long-ago times when our years were few:

A wild little bird skims rapidly by;

And I tell of a day when my heart was stirr'd,

And I cried as only a child can cry,

That I was a girl instead of a bird.

'And oh!' in an eager manner I cried,

'I am feeling the very same wish to-day:

Oh for two wild wings, and to spread them wide,

And rush through the sky away and away.'

I cast up my eyes, to the smiling skies,

And smiling I lower'd their glance again,

And as they were lower'd they met his eyes,

And a thrill went through me of sweetest pain.

I blush'd when I thought of my eager words—

But why do I blush? and why do I care?

What does it matter to me and the birds,

Or the pretty blossoms or scented air?

'And I,' he replied, 'have my wishes too:

Time teaches the real meaning of things;

And only this moment, looking at you,

I felt that an angel need not have wings.'

We had sauntered on to the garden gate:

He look'd in my eyes ere we turn'd to part:

I walk'd away in a manner sedate,

And with something new just touching my heart.

When the first violet open'd in bloom,

Was it surpris'd at its lovely perfume?

Why does not History tell us, who met

First, the sweet breath of the first violet?

Rather I'd know it than facts that are known—

As when some tyrant ascended some throne,

A battle was fought, a comet display'd,

Coals were discover'd, or steam-engines made.

I can no moment recall, ere I knew

Perfume pertain'd to those blossoms of blue;

Had the first knowledge of sweetness like this

Touch'd me to-day, what perfection of bliss!

Children with all that creation can grant

Scarcely will miss the one pleasure I want,

Just to remember the day and the hour

When, by spring breezes caressingly blown,

Delicate fragrance of violet flower

First touch'd my senses, becoming my own!

And what can it be—oh, what can it be,

That has garnish'd earth with a golden grace?

What is this something that entering me

Changes my life in a minute of space?

When I first notic'd the power in his eyes—

Watching to see if they praise or condemn,

Blushing to meet them—came into the skies

Beauty that never has vanish'd from them.

When I first stopp'd in the midst of my mirth,

While my heart beat in a tremulous way

Only to see him,—came over the earth,

Glory that earth has retain'd to this day.

When the first whisper assaulted my ear,

When the first pressure astonish'd my hand,

When I first fancied that I might be dear—

Life was a miracle joyous and grand.

When he first woo'd me with prayers, for his own,

Suddenly came an eclipse of the light:

Sighing, I wish'd he would let me alone;

Smiling, I long'd to hide out of his sight.

Life being lit by a fairy-like gleam,

Sparkling and glittering, tender and pure,

Was not he stupid to change such a dream

Into reality tame and secure?

'Tis sweet to find I am wrong in the thought,

Joy is but brighter for being confess'd;

Every moment has happiness brought,

Every stage of true love is the best.

They wish me at home to sit and to sew—

And I like to do what my aunt thinks right—

But the stitching never seem'd half so slow,

Nor zigzagg'd itself as it did one night.

And my work kept slipping out of my hand

As wonderful thoughts came into my head:

Sure, life is becoming too bright and grand

To be given up to needles and thread!

I was thinking of words that Harry spake,

And of looks that more than mere words betray,

With a joy as pure as the first snow-flake,

And almost as ready to melt away.

And with little tears beginning to start,

And with smiles and blushes that come and go;

And I did not know what was in my heart,

Or else I pretended I did not know!

O sudden awaking from dream so fair!

'Tis the voice of my aunt, and I hear it say—

'Child, are you falling asleep in your chair?

Will you ever finish that collar, May?'

I caught up my work (I knew I was wrong),

Determin'd to finish it ere we sup;

But something within me, for me too strong,

Conquer'd myself, and I had to give up.

'O, my Aunt Bridget,' I timidly said,

'I am tired of stitching—I want to rest;

O let me gather the roses instead,

The young little roses the first and best.'

Soft summer twilights caressing the air

Have buried the garden in lovely gloom;

But I knew that the eagerest roses there

Were just beginning to think they might bloom.

The pretty wee stars kept peeping about,

And even peep'd in through our prison bars,

As she gravely said, 'Who ever went out

To gather a rose by the light of stars?'

My heart beat fast at the beautiful phrase;

She had not intended it, I suppose,

But I felt I could love her all my days,

If under the stars I might pluck one rose!

Pleading my cause in so ardent a way,

Almost evoking an answering glow,

Crying, 'You once were as young and as gay'—

Then, she smil'd a little and let me go.

'Twas pleasure enough to be out of doors;

I look'd at the stars and I felt content:

But it never rains, you know, but it pours,

And the path that I had to go—I went!

Playing with fancies, in fanciful play,

'If I want a rose,' I demurely said,

'I must look for an omen to point the way,

And I must look for it over my head.'

So I found a star that shone in the sky,

And mark'd how it glitter'd down on a tree,

And felt—but I swear that I know not why—

There grow the roses intended for me!

And as I approach the shadowy boughs

That are spreading out over earth and air,

A gay little miracle fate allows,

And the star appears to be sparkling there!

Gladly I ran o'er the daisy-clad plain,

Led by the shimmering light of the star,

And under the tree I found—Harry Vane

Lying, and smoking a 'mild cigar!'

I started astonish'd—he stood upright,

And said, in a voice persuasively kind,

'Don't you know that I come here every night,

To see your shadow flit by on the blind?'

I look'd where he pointed, as if 'twas I

Could see my own phantom flicker and pass,—

And Aunt Bridget's shadow mov'd solemnly by,

Over the canvas that hangs by the glass!

Oh, how could we help it?—we laugh'd aloud

(Birds never cease their sweet voices in spring;

And I think in youth little laughters crowd

And spring to our lips at everything!)

In laughter we lost all sense of surprise;

It seem'd only natural we should meet;

And a star shot flaming across the skies,

And a little glow-worm gleam'd at my feet.

And a distant bell swung its solemn chime,

That seem'd to me like the voice of a star;

And I think, through a century of time,

I shall always believe that such things are.

And then—it was then—he spoke, and I heard;

And the moon rose up, and the stars grew dim,

And all of a sudden the nightingale-bird

Triumphantly chanted her jubilant hymn.

What are you singing about, little birds,

Twittering loudly in lime-tree and oak?

Telling each other the wonderful words

On a sweet May evening a lover spoke?

Butterflies, floating away from the trees,

With blossom-like wings of delicate dye,

You are bearing tidings certain to please,

Scatter them freely, but do not ask why.

Two lovers stood 'neath a star-lighted sky,

Half fearfully touching enchanted ground:

One lover was Harry, and one was I,

And the world went merrily round and round.

Souls rushing together from distant parts,

Vows utter'd that cannot be ever undone;

A minute ago two lives and two hearts,

Through time and eternity now but one.

O foolish butterflies! chattering birds!

Instinct in vain with humanity strives;

You can't understand the wonderful words

Or magical kisses that changed two lives!

What is Nature made for? is it for us

The beautiful world is burnish'd and blent?

If we had not eyes, would blossoms shine thus?

If we had not nostrils, would they have scent?

I heard a philosopher say—in isles

Surrounded by ocean, apart, alone,

With no living creature to reckon miles,

Wherein life had never been born or known,

That the clouds with electric flash may meet,

And thunder may rattle its dreadful breath,

Yet never a sound break the rest complete,

Or the silence of this eternal death;

That the fierce storm-wind may bluster and blow,

Tearing the trees from the root-broken ground,

Or the wild sea-surf may leap and may flow

In solemn silence with never a sound.

For sound is but the vibrations of air

That strike on the drum of the living ear;

So if never a living ear is there,

There is nothing to strike and nothing to hear.

Though the vibrations move on, and live,

And thus the law of their being obey,

'Tis the ear produces the sound they give—

That's what I heard a philosopher say.

So if thunder, roll'd through quivering air,

With that awful silence reigning around,

And you or I suddenly landed there,

All Nature would break at once into sound.

It seems very strange and eerie, you know;

I don't understand how it is—do you?

But a philosopher said it, so

I really suppose that it must be true.

And is not there something in human hearts

(Mountains, you know, must spring out of the flat)

That at Love's light touch into music starts?

Ah, what would philosophers say to that?

There never was summer so bright as this,

And the world will always be burnished thus;

For if Love the magical painter is,

He for ever will paint the same for us.

'Tis a light within that illumes the land;

And free as the birds from sorrow or strife,

Very close together, and hand in hand,

We shall walk on through unlimited life.

'Ah, Harry!' I cried, 'I shall lean on you!

'Tis the purest joy to look up so high;

You will teach me all that I ought to do;

On your noble strength can my steps rely.

I hope that you know I am very weak,

Only a poor little thing at the best;

But children can love before they can speak,

And I hope that love will make up the rest.'

Oh beautiful pathway, untouched by care;

Oh you scattered roses on which we tread;

You lead to a church with its holy prayer,

And its Heaven-blessing over us shed!

Nightingales singing an exquisite tune

All the sweet music for me and for you,

Saying my prayers by the light of the moon,

Happy the prayers that are utter'd for two!

Stars in the depth of a fathomless space,

Summer-blue sky by no shadow o'ercast,

Joy pointing on to a far-away grace

Brighter than e'en the beneficent past;

Trouble to measureless distances fled,

Death too remote to be worthy a sigh—

Can there be any one sorry or dead?

Sorrow or death 'neath a summer-blue sky!

Was there a moment we never had met?

Was there a time unexalted by him?

Shone the same lustre in suns when they set?

Sparkled the river with joy to the brim?

Glitter'd the blue over heaven and sea?

Flutter'd the birds to a musical call?

Could he be happy unconscious of me?

And, without Harry, what was I at all?

I stand on a rock where two rivers meet,

With a life behind and a life before;

And one is ebbing away from my feet,

And the other is rising more and more.

Ah, poor little maiden! ah, dear little wife!

Ah, days that are past and days that will come!

The past is nothing—this only is life;

I am going with him and am going Home.

And such a sweet pretty home as it is!

What shall I do with my exquisite bliss?

How can I ever be charming enough,

Where rumpling a roseleaf will make the path rough?

How can I thank the great Father above

For showing His child such abundance of love?

With Harry a home in a hovel were sweet,

And this is a palace that lies at my feet.

I look at the gardens spread out in the sun,

Where every rosebud a prize might have won;

Where lilies lift up tinted crowns to the skies,

And clematis strike you aghast by their size;

Where lawns smooth as ice tempt your feet as they pass,

Though only a fairy should tread on such grass;

And big forest trees on the slopes, spread afar

Those branches that grander than anything are.

I sweep through the rooms where the mirrors portray

A slender young thing in a robe of pale gray,

And catching quick glimpses, now here and now there,

I own with delight she is graceful and fair;

I study the creature, and smile as I see

How handsome a woman one day she may be;

I draw myself up with a stately expanse

And try to look grand, while I'm longing to dance;

I flourish, I curtsey, I slip and I slide;—

This will do for a wife, this is fit for a bride.

I smile and I bow, in a dignified way,

And even shake hands with the lady in gray;

Then draw back astonish'd, afraid to offend,

It is all a mistake, and she is not a friend.

In a moment sweeps over the vision a change

Deliciously sweet and suddenly strange,

A blush in the cheek and a light in the eyes;—

A step in the passage, to meet it she flies,

And still in the mirror I mark the embrace,

Where the strong manly arms hide the small blushing face.

When the sun rises early to call people out,

There is nothing so sweet as to wander about,

A hand on an arm or an arm round a waist,

In lover-like leisure or holiday haste.

Then, all is delightful we see or we hear,

And speaking or silence are equally dear;

The earth at our feet of an emerald hue,

The Heaven above us incredibly blue,

The flowers baptiz'd with miraculous dew.

While yet the sky blushes to welcome the sun,

Through the gay gardens we stroll and we run;

In fields where lambs gambol less happy than we,

Glittering grass makes a sheen like the sea;

Birds unexpectedly set up a chant,

Adding a joy that the world seem'd to want.

Creation is made for our pleasure alone:

Adam and Eve, with no sin to atone,

Knowledge untasted, less rapture have known!

Keeping by Harry, a friend who is fond

Follows as closely as follow he can:

Is there an earthly affection beyond

The love a good dog feels for a good man?

If twenty people fling down twenty gloves

Our Rover has never been known to fail;

He picks out the glove of the man he loves,

And brings it triumphantly, wagging his tail.

Rover and I, under shadowy yew,

List'ning for Harry's dear step on the path—

He always hears it the first of the two,

Which gives me a feeling half joy, half wrath.

By divers states can our spirits be mov'd

Our hearts will answer to many a touch;

We love one creature for being much lov'd,

And we love another for loving much.

By delicate touches our souls are stirr'd,

Fraught with a meaning life never reveals:

I wonder the Bible says not a word

Of the faithful love that a good dog feels.

Good are the mornings for birds in a nest,

Fluttering out from a beautiful home;

Good are the mornings, but evenings are best,

Seeking its shelter nor asking to roam.

Life, like a secret, is too much for one—

May be too little where numbers are great—

All may be vanity under the sun,

But all is charming when done tête à tête.

Neighbours will call—what a trouble it is!

Dinners and parties are made for our sake:

Why must society trouble our bliss?

Dinners and neighbours are quite a mistake!

Drest as a bride, I must dine at the Grange;

Harry beside me, I have not a care;

Only it seems so exceedingly strange

Not to be thinking of meeting him there!

Jane does my hair with a skill, I confess,

Smilingly thinking of days that are gone,

When for a party I ran up to dress

With neither a husband nor maid of my own.

Life that is past, did you certainly pass?

When were you actual? how did you change?

Who is this girl that I see in the glass

Thinking of things that are happy and strange?

Who is this man who may enter the room,

Placidly certain his presence must please,

Settle her colours, select her perfume,

Hands in his pockets serenely at ease:

Who can the girl be, and who is the man?

Light-hearted creatures who live but to love!

'Tis the result of the Angels' kind plan,

One of the marriages made up above!

Hand laid in hand to the stairs we advance,

Feet scarcely touching the carpet at all:

Why should they walk who are able to dance?

Clasping each other, we waltz through the hall!

Pleasant the drive in the twilight's soft gloom;

Dazzling the change to society's light;

Proud of my Harry I enter the room,

Every eye on my gallant young knight.

Lovely the welcome around me I see—

Will it be thus through a beautiful life?

Everybody attentive to me,

And only because I am Harry's wife?

Dear to my heart are the glitter and grace;

But nothing so charming, or bright, is here

As the gracious smile upon Harry's face,

Or his manly voice as it greets my ear.

As from the banquet the ladies depart

I hear two gentlemen murmuring low—

'The Captain has got an excellent start

But he won't set the Thames on fire, you know!'

Then I look back and attempt to decide

Who is this Captain who must not aspire;

I meet Harry's eyes, and I smile with pride,

For I know he could set the Thames on fire!

Afterwards music; he sings and I sing,

She sings and they sing, and minutes flit past:—

Harmony certainly quickens Time's wing,

And the lark sings loudest when flying fast.

His Song.

Must he toil beneath the sun

Who has nothing else to do?

What's the use of such a one?

I know not—pray do you?

Skies are not aflame for him;

He converses not with elves;

Primroses on river's brim

Can be nothing but themselves.

Need he interfere with me,

Who care only to be blest?

Go thy way, unhappy bee,

Leave a butterfly at rest.

Butterflies with painted wings

Are a part of Nature's plan;

Is not every bird that sings,

Wiser than a busy man?

Harry's rich tenor delighteth my ears

Oft as I hear it; 'tis ever the same;

Brings to my eyes a soft soupçon of tears,

Sends from my heart little thrills through my frame.

My Song.

When the sea

Speaks to me,

Sure I may reply to it;

When the skies

Catch my eyes,

I must smile a little bit.

When the trees

Try to please

With their buds and blossoms new,

Shall I dare

Not to care

For a world so bright and true?

Earth and sky,

Tell me why

Sorrow ever comes between?

Is it you,

Heaven blue?

Is it you, my earth so green?

Is it there

In the air

That you neither of you touch?

Is the wind

So unkind

When I love its kiss so much?

Let it be

Earth or sea,

Skies or breezes as they move,

Earth is sweet

'Neath my feet,

Heaven sweeter yet above;

And the air

Ev'rywhere

Is the sweetest of the three;

I will take,

For their sake,

Anything they bring to me!

Men flocking round me, I find I'm admir'd;

Praise is as sweet as a gratified whim;

When a girl pleases she never feels tir'd—

Harry smiles at me, and I smile at him.

Through the open doors of a crystal dome

Sweet is the scent of the tropical flowers,

The splendid exiles who, banish'd from home,

Are sparkling and shining to gladden ours.

Figures appearing 'mid blossom and fruit,

In an airy, fairy, magical way;

Their lips keep moving altho' they are mute

For ears too distant to hear what they say.

From a lily bud can a voice be sent?—

'Let us hope the Captain's wild oats are sown;

A pretty young wife should make him content'—

Only a word in a soft-spoken tone!

Moving serenely 'mid beauty and song,

Am not I born for the glittering throng?

Treading on roses with delicate feet,

Is not a life a perpetual treat?

Can we be more than delighted and blest?

Pleasure is beautiful—is it the best?

Highest and best that our nature can know?

Answer my heart—and my heart answers No.

And my heart answers, 'more beautiful yet

Life is for those who leave Home with regret,

And greet it again as the sailor greets shore,

Gaily returning to life gone before.'

Thus from the banquet two lovers depart,

Owning thy truth, lovely voice of my heart;

Seeking a home that, whatever befall,

Is brighter and sweeter and dearer than all;

Better than all that the world can decree,

For happy young creatures like Harry and me!

Self-ordained critics, we sit at our ease,

Life spread before us to judge as we please;

Harry in quite a ridiculous way

Prates about wine, like a swell in a play;

Next, the made dishes proceeding to scan,

With wisdom becoming a greedy old man;

Looking so charmingly youthful and gay,

I laugh in his face at his airs of gourmet;

Admitting myself but three things to be nice—

Champagne, lobster salad, and strawberry ice.

Then pass the people in sparkling review;

I ask fifty questions beginning with Who?

Midnight approaches—a sense of repose

Floating about me, my eyelids half close;

Rising, I languidly say, 'By the bye,

Who is the Captain?' he laughs in reply,

Stands up in front of me, just face to face,

Makes me a bow with an air and a grace:

'The Captain this moment before you' you see—

That's my nickname in the country,' says he.

Pleasantly sleepy I felt ere he spake,

Now I am thoroughly widely awake;

A shock passes through me of horrid surprise,

I turn upon Harry my wondering eyes,

Catching at hopes, as the drowning at straws,

I cry, as the truth for a moment withdraws,

'You're quizzing me, Harry—that's what you're at,

It cannot be you that they speak of like that!'

Then he insists on my telling, displeas'd

At any concealment, What have I heard?

Worried and wearied, bewilder'd and teaz'd,

I blurt it out and repeat every word!

Harry regards me with almost a stare—

Pulls his moustache with a sort of amaze—

Passes his hand through his clustering hair

And—bursts out laughing, as if it was praise!

There is nothing so sweet or full of grace

(Can one who has seen it ever forget?)

As the smile that comes over Harry's face;

It is Heaven on earth—and yet—and yet—

I feel a strange chill steal into my heart—

Should he permit such remarks from the crowd?

Can it be their part? Can it be his part?

They the mean snobs! he the noble and proud!

No shooting to-day of partridge or snipe;

It has steadily rained since morning broke,

In dancing spirits I kindle his pipe

(I am learning to like the smell of smoke!)

He has given up such a deal for me!

He likes to give up his bachelor way;

He says it is charming not to be free,

So he only smokes one pipe in the day.

Together we sit in his little room,

Which is fitted up like a dainty toy;

And if without there is darkness and gloom,

Within there is plenty of light and joy.

'Tell me of all you have done, if you can,'

I cry, as the pretty smoke lightly curls;

'I want to hear of the life of a man

I, who only know of the life of girls!'

He shakes his head with a smile and a nod,

The smoke curling round it with idle aim;

He is like the picture of some young god,

Who, from painted clouds, looks out of a frame.

'The life of a girl is a fairy thing,

With a sweetness none can wish to forget,

Caught from a snowdrop in earliest spring

Or the first faint breath of a violet;

The life of a man, as it is and was,

Is like autumn leaves decaying and dead,

With a flavour of bad theatrical gas,

And of last night's banquet,' my husband said.

I laugh'd at the gay nonsensical speech,

In my merry pride at being his wife;

I sat at his feet, and I bade him teach

A neophyte out of his noble life.

He mutter'd 'My noble life!' with a frown,

'With noble lives I have little to do;

My dear, put those frivolous notions down,

I am but a man, and a weak one too.

My life has been full of confounded things,

I am only a man, like other men;

But we hear a flutter of angel-wings,

And our demons forsake us, there and then.

In marrying thee, my innocent sprite,

I had caught a glimpse of a purer joy;

I turn'd a new page, and the page was white;

I'm quite determin'd to be a good boy!'

His hand sought my head with a careless grace,

And the sun shone suddenly out on us;

O gracious and sweet was my Harry's face,—

Why should a hero belie himself thus?

PART II.

When turf is level how rapid the pace!

Linger ye moments!—be patient my life!

Marriage is only an idyl of grace,

What knows a bride of the bliss of a wife?

Are all things the dearer for growing old?

As flowers are sweeter deep in a wood;

Will the warmth of May in July seem cold?

Was earth less perfect when God call'd it 'good'?

Even roses when young are only green,

And the exquisite perfume faint and small,

If roses are lovely when just half seen,

When blown they are sweetest and best of all.

Time passes on, and they open too much;

Still the rich fragrance about them is shed;

Delicate petals fall off with a touch;

Happy and mourn'd for, the roses are dead!

And when we die (if death ever can be,

Life leaping in me, it sounds like a jest),

May it be thus with my Harry and me—

Love's latest perfume its sweetest and best.

He, whom I speak to, smiles into my face,

Crying, with kisses, that life would restore,

'All that you say has a feminine grace;

But hasn't Moore said something like it before?'

From the piano I draw forth a peal,

Greeting the sound with a smile and a sigh,

Singing 'The Last Rose of Summer,' I feel

That summer and roses can never die!

'Twas a beautiful evening, fresh and fair,

Earth sweeter far than impossible skies;

My heart beating light as a bird in air,

When Harry brought home with him Jack Devize.

Did no presentiment touch me that day?

Never a soupçon of evil or ill?

No, the world was bright with Harry away,

And when Harry came back it was brighter still.

The man stood there, and his shadow was laid

Straight at my feet by the sunset decrees;

I mark'd it well, and I was not afraid;

And when Harry nam'd him I smil'd with ease.

The roses poured out their exquisite scent,

Birds gave us the sweetest music they had,

And the little grasses daintily bent

In the tender breeze, as if they were glad.

Are there not angels to guard us and keep?

Are spirits not round us hidden from sight?

Oh! angels and spirits were all asleep,

Or they must have warn'd me that fatal night.

I have wak'd with the thought of an absent friend

(And others I know who have done the same),

And have felt 'ere I see the daylight's end,

Her letter must come—and her letter came.

I have run indoors with the happy thought

That something pleasant was going to be,

And—coincidence strange!—my eye has caught

The sight of the thing it desired to see.

I have felt a depression all the day,

A dullness for which I could not account,

And a flower has died—a dog run away—

Or a horse gone lame that I wish'd to mount.

And if from the regions of mysteries

Something can warn us of trifles like these;

How could it be I met Mr. Devize

With a smiling face and a heart at ease?

No dream at night, when by wonderful laws

The bodies are dead, the spirits alive;

No little heart—sinking without a cause

When the perfect sunshine made nature thrive;

No omen or signal, little or great,

Not a quicken'd pulse or a flutter'd breath;—

So Harry and I rush'd on to our fate,

And the unseen world was passive as Death.

We stroll'd through the gardens till dinner came,

The scented breezes were faultlessly sweet;

The sun went suddenly down in a flame,

While the birds their jubilant hymns repeat,

We chatted at dinner, and afterwards,

And the moments pleasantly slid away,

But when Mr. Devize suggested cards,

I laughingly told him I could not play.

The cards are produced; the men begin;

I sit by Harry and watch his hand;

I am very eager that he should win,

And when he does so, I feel very grand.

'Twas all very well for once you see;

Its novelty made it a thing to praise;

It was quite a joke for a girl like me,

Living with men and observing their ways.

But when Jack had dined again and again,

And with others enjoy'd the cards and fare.

With a little shiver that felt like pain,

I would say 'good night' and leave Harry there.

Cool is the chamber and pleasant the light,

Tranquil and innocent, tender and calm;

Sweet are the thoughts that approach us at night,

Sweet as the breeze with its perfumy balm.

And if I am reading the happy Word,

Or saying my prayers by the taper's glow,

I wish that my Harry had this preferr'd

To the painted toys and the men below.

'I wish that my Harry had this preferr'd'—

But ought I to wish it, if he does not?

Has my foolish heart from its duty err'd,

And the soft compliance of love forgot?

There can be no question 'twixt wrong and right;

And surely we all can be brave and strong;

Yet I seem a little perplex'd to-night,

And hardly to know what is right or wrong.

I'm very young to be anyone's wife,

And to know about serious things like these—

Must my little hand touch my husband's life

With a thought of something more than to please?

What shall I do with this ghost of a care

That makes my silly heart flutter and sink?

I will first kneel down and will say a prayer,

And then I'll ask Harry what I should think!

Harry stalk'd into my room in a rage—

'Hilton and Wilton have clear'd me out quite;

A run of ill luck at every stage—

Fifty pounds lost since you left us to-night!

I'll have my revenge on the rogues I vow!'

Marks of strange anger disfigure his face,

A dry parch'd lip and a thundery brow,

And a sharp bright eye that has lost its grace.

So a lov'd little hand comes smoothing down—

Wandering kisses can anger eclipse;

The beautiful forehead has ceased to frown,

And sweet is the kiss I find on my lips.

'Ah, dearest,' I whisper, 'mourn not for this,

On a summer day with a heap of flowers;

This cannot be sorrow, or if it is,

It is a sorrow that cannot be ours.'

All the strange passion had vanish'd, I ween;

The Harry I knew had come back again;

And on his sweet face I had never seen

A sweeter smile than illumin'd it then.

With smiles he caress'd me: 'you little thing—

You dear little thing,' he tenderly said;

'We have banish'd you by the cards we bring;

Let us banish cards and have you instead.'

I clapp'd my hands, and my heart beat light,

As I softly whisper'd, 'Indeed you may,

For I'm certain, Harry, it is not right

To spend so much money and time at play.'

He gave me an odd little look askance,

And mutter'd, 'A man must do something though;'

I answer'd the look with a loving glance,

'But the something need not be cards, you know;

There is plenty to do before we die,

That may suit a gay and a careless mood;

We are so happy, Harry, you and I,

That I think we ought to be ever so good.

Playing at cards for money, I'm clear,

Is an alien thing in beautiful lives'—

He grumbled, 'The fellows will think me queer;

But then the poor fellows have not got wives.'

We talk'd the matter delightfully out;

Our words were earnest and bright and free;

We twisted it round, we turn'd it about,

And we both agreed that it should not be.

'You are my angel,' he cried, with a kiss;

'I fear lest your wings are spreading to fly,'

And his angel I ought to be, in this,

For 'tis he who is tempted, and not I.

O, women have no temptations at all;

They have only to keep their white lives white;

But men are so tempted, that men must fall—

O wonderful Harry who stands upright!

Again the sweet evenings we had at first:

He reads, and I work; or we play and sing;

And looks and words that, if life were accurs'd,

In memory only, would rapture bring.

Engagements of course will sometimes arise;

But the joy is still in the coming back;

And sometimes he dines with us (Jack Devize),

And sometimes my husband dines out with Jack.

Under the cliff with its towering crest,

Where the wandering sea has fill'd the space,

A sweet little village has made its nest,

A sort of miniature watering place.

Scarcely a mile by the upper cliff way—

Further of course by the beach-shaded road—

Little Bellhaven contentedly lay,

Easily reached from our pleasant abode.

Therein a Church, and a place of Dissent,

A shop where we purchase our sugar and shoes,

Therein a Library ladies frequent;

Therein a club where the men read the news;

Also a chamber where, lit from above,

Balls white and crimson disport on green baize,

That capital game which gentlemen love,

Where Harry conquers whenever he plays.

Billiards require grace, agility, skill;

No one without them can hope to excel;

But Harry never did anything ill

That it is manly and right to do well.

In my pretty turn-out with ponies gray,

At a rattling pace to the club I come,

And feel like a queen triumphantly gay,

As I drive my conquering Hero home.

I like him to play; I like him to win;

I like to wait by the Ocean expanse,

To watch its wild waves come careering in,

In regular order unknown to chance.

I like the scent of the weeds that they bear,

And their rolling sound on the pebbly beach;

I like the touch of the salt-flavour'd air;

There is beauty, pleasure, and health in each.

A little hotel in Bellhaven stands,

Where dinners are serv'd remarkably well,

And sometimes Harry slips out of my hands

And dines with Jack at this little hotel.

I'm not very fond of the place, I own;

Ought I to mind it, if Harry's amused?

But I feel so lonely when I'm alone,

And sometimes I feel a little ill-used.

'Tis seldom my husband deserts me thus,

He is always home ere the clock strikes ten;

So I won't be foolish and make a fuss,

But try to remember that men are men.

Sitting and waiting for Harry alone,

Watching the minutes, and wanting him back—

Why are you absent, my Harry, my own?

Am not I nicer than billiards and Jack?

Traitress to ask such a question! for shame!

Thou art, thou knowest, beginning and end!

His whole life is thine—he is not to blame!

May not thy husband go out with a friend?

Thou art the false one, and he is the true—

Fretful and idle, unworthy thy king!

Hast thou not anything useful to do,

Thou good-for-nothing and cross little thing?

Scolding myself, I spring up from my chair,

Calling out loud that the time is not long;

March down the room with a resolute air,

Seize my guitar, and burst out into song!

Poor little girl, sitting singing alone,

Pretty guitar round a slender neck hung,

Smiles on thy lips, but a sad little moan,

Deep in a heart that is foolish and young.

Song.

To one whose footsteps fall

Upon a mountain's height,

Earth must seem very small,

And heaven infinite.

Then why do misty tears

Conceal each lofty crest,

If earth so far appears,

So near the land of rest?

Hush! for the mists withdraw

The Hidden shines in bliss;