THE CROWD OF ANIMALS BELOW CRIED, “TELL US SOMETHING MORE!
TELL US SOMETHING MORE!”
(Page [62])

BILLY WHISKERS
AT HOME

BY
FRANCES TREGO MONTGOMERY
Author of “Billy Whiskers,” “Billy Whiskers’ Kids,” “Billy
Whiskers’ Adventures,” “Billy Whiskers Out for Fun,”
“The Wonderful Electric Elephant,” Etc.

Illustrated by
C. W. FRANK
AND
FRANCES BRUNDAGE

THE SAALFIELD PUBLISHING COMPANY
CHICAGO AKRON, OHIO NEW YORK
MADE IN U. S. A.

Copyright 1924
by
The Saalfield Publishing Co.

CONTENTS

ILLUSTRATIONS

The crowd of animals below cried, “Tell us something more! Tell us something more!”

Why did the king look so different? This was not the Neptune they had expected to see.

Seeing Mr. Robinson dangling there, Billy gave him a mighty butt that shoved him all the way through.

Billy surprised Augusta by butting her right over his head, and she landed in the trough with a great splash.

“Save me quickly, or it will be too late!” gobbled the turkey.

Mr. Watson’s hired man soon had a rope around Billy’s neck.

Billy Whiskers at Home

CHAPTER I
THE CHUMS BACK HOME

ONE morning in early spring Mr. Watson rolled up the shade at his bedroom window to see what kind of weather was promised for the day when, glancing over to the lane, whom should he see running down its long stretch but Billy Whiskers, Stubby and Button.

“Am I seeing things or is that really and truly my old Billy Whiskers come back to the farm after being away all these years?” he murmured.

“William, what are you talking about?” asked his wife, who was yet in bed.

“Come to the window and see whether or not the goat, dog and cat running along our lane are our old pets Billy, Stubby and Button,” he replied. “But of course they must be, for where in the wide world would one ever find three such animals traveling together?”

By this time Mrs. Watson was in her kimono and slippers and at the window. “I don’t see him,” she said at last.

“You don’t? Down there where the lane runs into the barnyard,” said her husband.

“Oh, yes, I see him now! And do look at the way all the cows, horses, chickens and even Old Shep and Matilda, our tortoise shell cat, are rushing to meet those three. Talk about animals not having sense and feelings! Why, they are almost eating their old friends alive! The way they are all rubbing noses and fussing over them to show their joy at seeing them once more! I feel like hugging them myself! Where do you suppose they have been all these years?” Mrs. Watson asked.

“I don’t know, but I would give a good deal if those three could talk and tell us where they have kept themselves and the experiences they have had, for I wager my best hat they have had some very exciting adventures with many hardships thrown in. I must hurry and dress and then go out to see them,” said Mr. Watson. “I don’t want them to think I am not as glad to see them as my animals are.”

“Wait a few minutes and I will go with you,” said his wife, bustling about.

When Billy, Stubby and Button saw Mr. and Mrs. Watson coming, they ran to greet them. Billy nearly baaed his head off to show his delight, while Stubby twisted his body into hard knots and wiggled his stub of a tail so fast one could scarcely see it. As for Button, he rubbed himself against them until he almost wore the skin off his back.

“Well, we are glad to see you back,” said Mr. Watson, “and we hope you are going to stay with us and not run off right away. My dear, you take Stubby and Button to the house and give them a big breakfast while I do the same for Billy here at the barn. My sakes alive, whom do we see coming on the run from behind the barn but the whole Billy Whiskers family! The procession is headed by Nannie, Billy’s dear little wife. From the surprise so plainly shown in all their faces they could not have known he was going to arrive.”

“Look, William, look! From the way they are greeting one another one would think they were humans instead of animals!”

“I tell you what, my dear, you see before you six of the finest full-blooded Angora goats you could find in a lifetime. They are all so big, strong and handsome, and have such silky hair and graceful horns. Billy and Nannie are pure white and perfectly mated. So too are Billy Junior and Daisy, his wife. Billy Junior’s coal-black hair makes a fine contrast against Daisy’s coat. As for the Twins, they are their father and mother over again, Punch being black and Judy white.”

“Now Billy is back, we can expect exciting things to happen,” remarked Mrs. Watson, “for wherever he is, there is always something going on. See, William, what is next to welcome them! How those pigeons and doves cluster around them, some even alighting on their backs! As they are the mail carriers for the animals, before night every farm for miles around will hear the glad tidings that Billy Whiskers, Stubby and Button are back home. See! Didn’t I tell you? There they go now, flying in all directions! Here, Stubby, Stubby, Stubby! Here, Button, Button, Button! Come with me and get something to eat!” she called as she turned toward the house.

“Oh, grandfather, stand still and watch me,” said Punch to Billy Whiskers. “I can jump so high! See, I can jump over your back!” and he ran off a few yards and then made a flying jump over Billy’s back. “I have learned to do that while you have been away on your travels.”

“That was pretty good, but next time raise your feet a little higher for you nearly took a chunk out of my back,” warned Billy.

“I can beat Punch jumping,” said Judy, “though he says I can’t because I am a girl. Watch me and see if I can’t!” But just when she jumped, Billy moved away and she leaped high in the air with nothing under her.

“Oh, grandfather, what made you move? Now stand still and I will do it again.”

“No, thank you! I’ll take your word for it that you can jump higher than your brother; I can’t spare any more of my flesh to-day.”

“Daddy, you stand still then and let me jump over you,” pleaded Judy.

Billy Junior heaved a sigh of resignation and stood still while Judy leaped over him, her feet held so close to her body that there was a full foot between his back and her feet.

“See! Don’t I jump higher and better than Punch?” she asked proudly.

“Oh, children,” exclaimed Daisy, their mother, “don’t always be vying with one another. All you do these days is to argue. Can’t you play without quarreling and fussing?”

“We don’t fuss or quarrel, mother. We just tell each other what we think and want.”

“Well, don’t do it so emphatically then,” replied their mother.

“Oh, there goes Farmer Jones’ flock of goats down the road to the pasture. Can’t we go with them? It is such fun to play with them in their pasture.”

“Yes, you may go if their man will let you. But I am afraid when he sees you he will drive you back,” replied Daisy.

“Well, if he does, we will wait until he gets them in the pasture and goes home. Then we will run down the road and crawl under the fence. There is a big hole we know about that is large enough for us to crawl through, for we were down there yesterday and crawled through and played with them all the afternoon. Come on, Punch, let’s go and try it.”

And off they scampered, while Billy Whiskers followed Mr. Watson to the barn door where he waited for him to bring out his breakfast. He soon returned with a peck of carrots and some oats, and while Billy ate, the animals and fowls stood around and asked questions as to where he had been, and eagerly listened as he told what he had seen.

When Stubby and Button reached the house with Mrs. Watson they found Bridget waiting at the door—the cook who had been there when they left the old farm.

“Well, well, well!” she exclaimed on seeing the two, “and is it yezselves I see wid me two eyes? And glad I am to see ye! Though I know yer heads must be filled wid devilment ye have picked up while yez were away. And yez had enough to last ye all yer life when yez lift us! Unless time has put some sinse in yer heads, which I hope it has! But here! Yez didn’t come home to hear me talk but to git something to eat. Just wait around a minute and I’ll give yez the best breakfast yez have had since yez lift, and one that’ll make yezselves stick out like barrels!”

“Bridget is the same old girl, isn’t she?” said Stubby.

“Yes; her bark is worse than her bite,” replied Button. “Yum, yum! I smell something delicious cooking, and here she comes with two plates heaped full of food!”

They had just finished their meal when Bridget came rushing out of the kitchen with the broom held high over her head, exclaiming, “Come along, Stubby and Button, and hilp me drive out that cross old cow that is always coming into our yard and eating up our flowers!”

The cow was standing in the middle of the flower bed making havoc of it, and Bridget charged on her with the broom, but instead of stopping eating, the cow lowered her head and made for Bridget on the run. Bridget turned and fled toward the porch, the cow close at her heels. She was just ready to hook the woman when she herself had a surprise for she found herself facing two angry eyes and a pair of horns twice as sharp as her own. And before she could hook whatever this was before her, she felt two sharp horns running into her side and pushing her sideways. She came to the conclusion that it was about time for her to make a hasty departure. As she turned toward the gate she found herself hurried through it by a little dog barking and snapping at her heels and then hanging to her tail. Though she tried again and again to kick him, she could not succeed, for when she kicked out with one foot, he was always snapping at the other leg. He chased her down the road for a mile and then with a parting warning not to come into that yard again, he let her go.

For the rest of the day the Chums wandered around the farm to see what improvements had been made and to meet the new animals that had been bought by Mr. Watson while they had been away. And when they went to bed that night, all three declared there was no place in all the whole wide world like the dear old farm.

WHY DID THE KING LOOK SO DIFFERENT? THIS WAS NOT THE NEPTUNE
THEY HAD EXPECTED TO SEE.
(Page [65])

CHAPTER II
SAL SCRUGS MAKES TROUBLE

EARLY the next morning from far and near came pigeons, blackbirds, swallows, robins and every other kind of bird that makes its home in Wisconsin in the summer. They had heard the news that the Chums had returned and now hastened to extend them a welcome on their own account as well as to deliver greetings from the animals on the different farms round about who were unable to get away, as most of them were either fenced in their pastures or shut up in their stables.

One homely, raw-boned, cross-eyed cow named Sal Scrugs whom no one liked and at whom everyone threw stones because she was always in mischief of some kind, said she was not going to send her message but was going to deliver it in person as these three were the only animals that had ever been nice to her. They understood and knew that the reason she behaved so badly was that everyone had always been so mean to her and never given her a kind word because she was so homely. She could not help being homely, and it had only soured her disposition to be treated so and called horrid names when it was no fault of her own. She said, “Very well, if people treat me badly, I will be more tricky and disagreeable than they ever thought of being.” So from calfhood she had tried to be mean. She would jump all the fences she could, trample people’s gardens and eat their early vegetables. Then too she would milk herself so when they wanted to milk her she would be dry. Another trick was to break down the fence and let all the other stock out. Consequently when she said she was going to see Billy, all the animals where she lived knew she would do it by jumping the fence in the pasture and running off.

“Listen, friends,” she said. “I want to ask you a question. How many of you would like to go to see Billy Whiskers, Stubby and Button if you had the chance?”

“We all would, I know,” spoke up an old brindle cow.

“Surely we would!” piped up all the others.

“Very well, then. When I am down in the pasture away from the house where no one can see me, I will break down the fence and you can all get out and run down the road and see the Chums before anyone knows you have left the pasture.”

“Oh, that will be fine!” said one of the young heifers. “I would just love a lark like that! Anything to cause a little excitement! We lead such a quiet life here with no change from day to day, month in and month out.”

“Yes, but how will you like it if, after we are out, Mr. Watson’s hired man sics Shep on us and he bites your legs and hangs on your tail? I tell you that dog has sharp teeth and gives a vicious bite for he has snapped at me more than once when I have not walked fast enough to suit him. You must remember I was born on the Watson farm and lived there until I was four years old, when I was sold to Mr. Jones.”

“I don’t care! I am willing to take the chance and the bite too for a little fun.”

“Here comes the hired man to drive us to pasture,” said Sal Scrugs.

Very sedately all the cows walked down the road to the pasture and after the man had shut them in, they lingered around the gate until he disappeared from sight over the brow of the hill. Then with a merry Ha! Ha! bellow in her throat, Sal Scrugs said, “Follow me along the fence until we come to the weak place in it. There are two loose posts that with a good hard push will fall right over into the road and then we can all pass through the opening and be free. Free! Oh, it is glorious to feel free!”

Sal was about to throw her weight against the weak section of the fence when one of the cows said:

“Hold on a minute! I think I hear a wagon coming down the road. We must wait until it passes or we will be caught.”

So they patiently waited until a big lumbering wagon had passed and disappeared over the hill. Then with a rush Sal ran to the fence and threw herself against it with all her might. Down it went with a crash and over toppled the posts as well. This made a great wide place for them to go through. They were in such a hurry to get out before any more wagons came along to stop them that two or three of the cows fell down in their mad haste to be on the way to see Billy, Stubby and Button. One cow hurt herself badly as she rushed over the fallen rails and she had to walk with a limp all the way to the Watson farm.

Billy and Nannie were on top of the old straw stack, their favorite resting place, for from there they could see all that went on in the barnyard directly under them and for two miles all around them.

Billy had just finished telling Nannie of one of his narrow escapes when, looking down the road, what should he see but all of Farmer Jones’ small herd of cattle coming on the run down the road. Indeed, before he could tell Nannie to look, they were turning in at the Watson lane.

“I wonder who is chasing them. It must be some stray dog for their own dog Nig knows cows should never be made to run,” said Billy.

“But I see no dog, or man either, Billy,” said Nannie. “See, they have spied us up on the stack and are making for it.”

By that time the foremost cow had reached the stack and each one was mooing to express the joy it gave her to see Billy back again and finding him as well and as strong as when he had left.

“A speech! A speech!” they called. Billy stood up on the straw stack where all could see and hear him. “Very dear and old tried-and-true friends, I cannot tell you with what joy I see you all again, and the welcome home you are giving me touches my heart most deeply.”

Just at this point his speech was interrupted by Mr. Watson and Shep running into the barnyard to drive out the stray cows.

“Well, I declare!” exclaimed Mr. Watson. “Instead of strange cattle these belong to Mr. Jones. They must have broken out of their pasture. Come, Shep, we will drive them back. Not so fierce there, Shep! There is no need to snap at them and hang on their tails, for you see they are going peacefully enough. And you must never snap or bite at an animal when it is going along quietly minding its own business.”

“Good-by, Billy! Good-by! Anyway, we saw you before we were driven back, and we are glad we broke down the fence and came.”

“Go away from me, you nasty dog! Can’t you see I am hurrying as fast as I can with a lame leg?” said the young cow whose aunt had warned her if she ran away a dog might snap at her heels and bite her. “I seem to be the only one that was hurt or at whom the dog really took a nip. But I don’t regret coming in the least, for I never saw Billy Whiskers before. I had heard so much about him that I wanted to see for myself if he was as wonderful as all the cows, horses, sheep, pigs and goats said he was. And he certainly is. My, but he looked handsome as he stood up on that straw stack addressing the crowd below, with his long white beard blowing in the wind and the sunshine making his silky white hair glisten like silver! Well, here we are back at our pasture. You may be sure I shall look out as I walk over those old rails this time so that I don’t hurt myself again.”

When the cows were all in, Mr. Watson tried to patch up the opening but he could not succeed in making the posts stand up, so he said to Shep, “Shep, you stay here and watch the cattle. Don’t let them come through the opening. I am going to tell Mr. Jones about his broken fence. Now mind, don’t let a single cow out!” and whistling, he turned and walked toward the Jones farmhouse.

He was scarcely out of sight when Sal Scrugs said, “Watch me pass that dog! If he tries to stop me, I shall send him a mile down the road and then if he comes at me again I shall hook him up in the air twenty-five feet.”

“Now look here, Sal Scrugs, you are courting trouble for yourself! Shep won’t hurt you if you behave, but just let any cow try to hook him and he will bite in earnest. What is more, he will bring you back to the herd if it takes him all day. Any animal he starts out to get, he gets if it takes all day to do it,” said the old cow that used to live at Mr. Watson’s, and therefore knew Shep and his ways well.

“Pooh! I’ll see a dog try to stop me! I always out-run them for, as you know, I have extra long legs which help me to jump fences and out-run dogs. And as I always keep in practice, I don’t get out of breath like most cows do. Then too my bag is small so it never bothers me by swinging from side to side when I run.”

“Just the same you will find Shep is an unusual dog, and he would consider it a disgrace to allow a cow to get away from him after he had been told to watch it.”

CHAPTER III
SAL SCRUGS DEFIES SHEP

“ANYHOW I am going to try it,” determined Sal. “I can but fail, and it will give the rest of you stay-at-homes something to bet on—whether I win or the dog.”

“Well, if you come home with bleeding ankles and half your tail pulled out, don’t say no one warned you not to go.”

“Look! Shep is half asleep, stretched there in the middle of the broken fence, thinking to himself that none of the cows will even try to pass him! I’ll just go pretty near the opening, eating as I go along, until I see him close his eyes. Then I’ll take a running jump over the fallen rails and off down the road I’ll go. I’ll take the road from home as there is a nice thick woods down that way where I can hide until he stops hunting for me,” said Sal.

“I tell you you aren’t counting on Shep being different from other dogs who have chased you. But you will find there are dogs—and dogs. Shep belongs to the kind that never give up.”

“I don’t care. Tee hee! Keep your eyes open for I am off!”

Five minutes later there was a sharp bark from Shep and when the cows stopped eating to look up to see what caused it, all they saw was a thick cloud of dust, with Sal Scrugs running like mad and a bundle of yellow hair following in leaps and bounds.

“Oh, dear!” said Sal Scrugs to herself. “That dog is gaining on me! I thought that with my long legs I could out-run any dog, but this one is coming like the wind and is surely gaining on me. My only hope is to jump this barbed wire fence which he can’t crawl through, and make for the woods at the other side of the field where he can’t see me.”

Just as Shep reached her and gave one nip at her heels, taking out a small piece of flesh, Sal jumped the fence. It being higher than she calculated, instead of landing on her feet as usual, she caught her foot on the top wire, which threw her on her nose and she fell, nearly breaking her neck. But in a minute she was up and off again across the field, running faster than ever for now she began to know for a certainty that unless she gained the shelter of the woods and hid in the thick underbrush, she was lost and Shep would bite her unmercifully unless she went back to the herd. And she did not care to return and endure their laughter at her expense after all her vain boasting.

While she was running across the lot for dear life, Shep was barking in anger at the closely woven barbed wires that kept him from the pursuit. He tried jumping the fence, but could not and was about to run around the field when he spied a small hole under the fence. In a jiffy he was scratching, making the dirt fly out in a shower behind him as he made the hole large enough for him to squeeze under. And just as Sal Scrugs entered the woods and turned her head to see where Shep was, expecting to see him running aimlessly up and down the road, she saw him coming like mad, already half way across the field. With a quick plunge into the deep bushes, she stood still, hoping to hide from him. She scarcely breathed for fear of betraying her presence, but alas, she had forgotten that dogs do not have to trust to their eyes to find things, but that they are given a sense of smell which aids them wonderfully.

The minute Shep entered the woods, he saw some bushes were slightly moving, so he went directly to them and as he approached the scent of a cow grew stronger and stronger. Peering through the bushes, he spied Sal Scrugs standing stock still, staring back at him, her eyes distended with fear. For by this time Sal Scrugs knew she had found her master and was frightened to death.

“Here you, Sal, come out of those bushes and march straight back to the pasture, or I’ll nip your ankles until they bleed!” barked Shep.

“I’ll do nothing of the kind, for you don’t belong to our farm and consequently it is none of your business what I do!” she answered.

“Oh, yes, it is my business because my master told me not to allow a single cow out of the pasture while he was gone. You heard him say it! Still you thought you would go, just to be mean. Now I’ll bark three times and on the third bark you chase yourself toward home or I’ll show you. And what is more, I’ll bite you every time you try to get away from me. Bow, wow, wow!”

By the second “Wow!” Sal Scrugs bounded out of the bushes in the opposite direction from the pasture and hooked her way through the thick bushes straight for a little lake that lay sparkling in the sunshine.

“Here, you long-legged, cross-eyed cow, don’t think you are going to lose me in these woods! For you are not, even if the thorns and briars do pull the hair off my skin!”

On, on, faster and faster went Sal Scrugs, straight for the lake, though the hide on her back was scratched by the long, cruel thorns on the thorn apple trees under which she ran. Anything was better than being bitten by Shep! She had just come out of the woods to a smooth piece of ground where she expected to make great headway and out-distance Shep when, chancing to look behind her, she saw Shep within thirty feet of her, running with mouth open and showing to advantage his glistening teeth.

“Oh, my! He is going to catch me! But I will try one more way to dodge him. I will run into the lake.”

She increased her speed but to no avail. She could hear him coming closer and closer and just as she reached the shore of the lake she felt his warm breath on her legs and expected to feel his sharp teeth sink in her ankles when, with one plunge, she threw herself into the deep water and began to swim for the opposite shore. Shep did likewise, and her hope that he would not follow her into the water was blasted. As she swam, he barked to her: “If you don’t turn toward the pasture when we land, I will bite a big piece out of your hind leg, and no fooling about it, either!”

On hearing this, Sal said to herself, “I guess he means it so I might just as well give up now and go back to the pasture as to wait until I am all bitten up. I guess my aunt was right. Shep never gives up chasing an animal until he has it where he wants it.”

Consequently when she landed on the opposite shore, she cut sticks for the home pasture as fast as her legs would carry her.

What was Shep’s surprise when he returned to find that while he had been gone all the other cows had walked out of the pasture and were now ambling leisurely down the road away from home! But it took only a few minutes for him to run past them and head them toward home again. He had just succeeded in getting them all back in the pasture and was taking a much needed rest when he saw Mr. Watson, Mr. Jones and their two hired men coming down the road to mend the fence. When they arrived, Mr. Watson noticed that Shep was wringing wet and he said, “Why, Shep, how in the world did you manage to get so wet? There is no water nearer than the lake, and I do not think you would leave the cows you were in charge of long enough to go for a swim.” But chancing to look up just then, he saw Sal Scrugs too was wet all over, and he exclaimed, “I think I begin to see light! That impish cow of yours, Sal Scrugs, got out of the pasture and went over to the lake, and she and Shep have both been in the water. And I think if the truth were known, it was she who broke down the fence and let out all the other cows.”

“I believe so, too,” replied Mr. Jones, “and this settles it. I am tired of her tricks and I am going to put her up for sale to-morrow. She never gave much milk, and I can’t fatten her for beef; no matter how much I feed her, she never takes on a pound of flesh. So why keep such a mean animal? Sal Scrugs, you hear that? You are to be sold to-morrow!”

“Now don’t you wish you had taken your old aunt’s good advice and not broken down the fence?” twitted one of the herd.

“No, I don’t! I have had some excitement, and I would just as soon be sold as not, for I am tired living my life among such old fogies as you! If I don’t like the people to whom he sells me, I shall jump the fence and run away.”

“Yes, and if you keep that up much longer, you will find yourself hung up by one leg on a hook in a butcher shop one of these days. But I am only wasting breath talking to you,” said Sal’s aunt and she turned her back and walked off, shaking her head in dismay at the actions of her wayward niece.

CHAPTER IV
AN INVITATION TO A “WELCOME HOME” PARTY

WHILE Billy Whiskers and his family were eating their breakfast the next morning, who should come fluttering down beside them but a beautiful fan-tailed pigeon from Mr. Smith’s farm, bearing an urgent invitation to Mr. and Mrs. Billy Whiskers, Mr. and Mrs. Billy Whiskers, Jr., as well as Stubby and Button, to attend that very night, as soon as the moon was up, a “welcome home” party Mr. and Mrs. Spotted Goat were giving in honor of the home-coming of Billy Whiskers and his Chums. The affair was to be held in the hollow between two high hills down in the pasture by the side of the little brook. And all the other animals on the Watson farm were likewise invited, as were those on the Jones farm. Even the pigs had been bidden to the feast of welcome!

“Thank Mr. and Mrs. Spotted Goat for their kind invitation to myself and family. Give them our regards and tell them we all accept, including Stubby and Button, and that I personally consider it a great honor for them to give such a party.”

“Oh, grandfather, can’t we go too?” asked Punch.

“Do say yes, grandfather!” pleaded Judy. “We want to go so much! We love to play with the little goats and lambs on the Smith farm, and we won’t be a bit of bother or get into mischief even once.”

“No, truly, we won’t!” chimed in Punch.

“I am sorry, but I could not take you out to an evening party. Besides, no children are included; just grown-ups.”

“Well, but we won’t bother them. We can get some of the little kids and lambs and go away off from the party to play. Oh, do let us go! We never have been to a big party like that,” pleaded Judy.

“Children,” commanded their mother, “stop teasing. You cannot go and that settles it. Besides, what did I tell you, Judy? If you do not break yourself of this habit of teasing, I will punish you severely. It is a most annoying habit for a kid to have. I simply won’t permit you to do it. What is more, you need not go off pouting for that is as bad as teasing.”

The Twins walked off behind the barn with gloomy faces, but they had scarcely turned the corner when Judy’s face brightened, and she exclaimed, “I tell you what let’s do, Punch! Let’s run away and go over to Mr. Smith’s farm and watch them prepare for the party and play with Mrs. Spots’ twins. We can have a fine time before the party begins. Almost as much as if we went to it, for we won’t have the grown-ups there to say, ‘Don’t do that!’ to us all the time.”

“Oh, Judy, you are a brick for thinking of that plan! It will be lovely. I’ll go ask mother if we may go down in the pasture and play in the brook,” replied Punch. “If we ask her, they won’t be looking for us all the time and discover we are gone. You know our pasture adjoins Mr. Smith’s where the party is to be held, and the same brook runs through both. We can walk up the stream and crawl under the wire that stretches across the stream to separate the two pastures. And if we should happen to get on the other side of the wire when wading, no one could blame us for not noticing that, could they?”

“Of course not! Run along and ask her. I’ll wait for you here.”

“Mother, where are you?” called Punch.

“Over here by the watering trough,” she answered.

“Well, mother, may Judy and I go down in our meadow and play by the brook? It is so nice and cool down there and we love to stand in the water and watch the fish swim around.”

“Yes, if you will be careful and stay away from the holes, for you could easily drown in one of them, the water is so deep. But you well know where they are, don’t you? Each one has a long stick driven in it, standing well out of the water, with a red flag on it. So you can’t help knowing where they are. Good-by, and come home early for luncheon.”

“I won’t promise about that. We may be having too good a time to come home and we can eat some nice green grass and peppermint down by the stream, which will be a better luncheon than you will have. So don’t look for us, mother.”

“Very well! Be good children, and be careful about the deep holes.”

“All right. We won’t go near the holes. Good-by!” and Punch was off with a skip and a jump around the barn.

“Hurrah! Hurrah! We may go, Judy! Come along! I’ll race you down the hill.”

“It is very nice of Mr. and Mrs. Spots to give a party for us and such a big one, too, for there are dozens of animals on the farms round about us, and they have invited them from every farm that adjoins theirs,” said Billy.

“Yes, but you must remember, my dear, that not one-third of them will be able to come, as they cannot get out of their stables and pastures on account of the high fences and the locked doors of the stables.”

“Yes, I know that. But isn’t it a shame they cannot get away, for they all have such quiet lives that it would do them good to have a little excitement now and then.”

“Here come some of the sheep and goats to ask you not what they shall wear, having only one dress to their names, but how in the world they are to get the dirt off their wool and hair.”

“Good-morning, Mr. and Mrs. Billy Whiskers! Isn’t it lovely that the Spots are going to give a party for you?” said Mrs. Wire Hair, one of the goats. “But I am in despair. Just look at my hair! It is all stained with yellow clay. And worse than that, with black muck, too. I nearly stranded in the quagmire down by the pond yesterday and now I am a sight!”

“None of us looks particularly well,” said another. “What say you we have a swimming party and all go down to the brook and stand in the water until the stain and dirt is washed off?” said Billy Whiskers.

“A splendid idea! We knew if we came to you, Mr. Whiskers, you would think of some way we could look respectable at the party.”

In less than half an hour, had you stood on the brow of the hill in the Watson barnyard and gazed down into the valley, you would have seen cows, horses, pigs, goats and sheep all standing in the pond into which the stream widened. Every animal had a happy face, for was not the water washing off the grime in fine shape? Billy’s and Nannie’s long white hair would soon look like spun silk. As for Button, he sat on a flat rock on the bank and licked his fur until it shone as if made of black satin.

All this time what do you suppose those mischievous Twins were doing but helping the Spots family carry things to eat down to the pasture where the party was to be? There was a shock of fresh green cornstalks in the Spots barnyard and this delicacy Mr. and Mrs. Spots, their children and several horses and cows were pulling out of the shock and carrying in their mouths down by the stream where the party was to be given. If the Twins had been asked to do this at home, they would have carried one mouthful and then complained that their legs were weary with climbing the hill. But to do it for other people was fun, and they never complained once, nor stopped until Mrs. Spots said they would not dare to carry away any more or it would be missed by Mr. Smith when he came into the barnyard.

As it was, Mr. Smith did wonder why it was so many of his horses, cows and pigs stayed in the barnyard that morning instead of going out into the pasture to eat the nice fresh clover. But finally he passed it by, thinking they just happened to remain as in all probability they had come in from the pasture to get a drink of nice cool water at the trough by the pump.

“I feel sick to my stomach, Punch. Let’s go home,” said Judy.

“Oh, no! You will feel better in a few minutes. You have been eating too many of those luscious green cornstalks. They act on goats just as too much candy acts on children. Go over and lie down on that nice soft turf by the haystack. Keep in the warm sun for a while and then if you do not feel better, I will take you home.”

“Come,” said one of the other goats, “let’s go over with Judy and tell stories. My legs ache from going up and down that hill so many times carrying those cornstalks that I can scarcely stand. Besides, it will not be so lonesome for her and she will forget she feels ill.”

When they were all lying down in a wide circle around Judy, Jill, one of Mrs. Spots’ twins, said, “Now Punch, you tell the first story for it will be an interesting one, ’cause you can tell us one you have heard from Grandfather Whiskers.”

“Oh, yes, do!” exclaimed Jack, the other twin.

“Oh, no,” replied Punch. “I am tired of hearing him tell the same ones over and over again to the different animals that call. You two tell stories instead.”

“But we do not know any interesting ones!” they objected.

“Go ahead, Punch, and tell them about the time Grandfather went up in a hydroplane over the city of Rio de Janeiro in South America,” urged Judy.

“Yes, do, do! That will be most exciting!” they all exclaimed.

So Punch began and their eyes were almost popping out of their heads at the thrilling experiences he was relating when they were nearly frightened out of their skins by a big cross dog running around the barn and suddenly appearing before them. For a moment he was as much surprised as they, for he had just come in with a farmer and was exploring things, as he had never been on this farm before. But in a minute he recovered himself and with a bark and a leap he landed in their midst. Such a hurrying and a scurrying as there was! Judy forgot she was ill and tried to climb up the haystack, steep as it was, but fell over backward, landing on the dog, frightening one as much as the other for a moment. On seeing the dog standing beside Judy, Punch pitched on him, though he was afraid of big dogs. But he had been taught he must always protect Judy, as she was a girl. Now Punch had short baby horns, but they could hurt, and the first thing this great dog knew, two sharp horns were running into his side. He turned with a snarl, ready to bite whatever it was that was hurting him so, when lo! at that second a red cow with long, sharp horns came around the corner of the barn and seeing Punch about to be attacked by a strange dog, she gave one jump forward and the next thing that dog knew, he was going up in the air at the rate of thirty-five miles an hour. He thought he was never coming down, but at last he did, though to his dismay he landed on top of a shed.

One of the little white calves that had been listening to Punch’s story was so panic-stricken that she fled, but instead of keeping her eyes open to see where she was going, she shut them tight. The consequence was she fell headfirst into a tub of red dye and when she stood up she was no longer a snow-white calf but a brilliant red one.

Another calf was so frightened that she ran straight into the farmhouse kitchen and fell down the cellar stairs. The cook, who heard the commotion, came to see who was stamping around on her freshly scrubbed floor. But she saw no one, though she did hear a groan of pain down in the cellar.

“Who is there?” she called.

No answer—just a groan came from below.

She peered down the stairs, but no one was visible in the pitch black of the cellar. At last the cook gathered up courage enough to light a candle and go down two or three steps.

On seeing the light, the calf was so frightened she forgot her pain and went rushing around the cellar, stumbling over and upsetting everything. All the cook saw was a big red monster with glaring eyes. She dropped the candle in her fright and fled. Out the kitchen door she went, loudly calling for help. In a jiffy Mr. Smith and the farmer whose dog had made all this trouble came running to discover the cause of the commotion.

“There is something awful in the cellar! All hair and eyes! And it is running around upsetting everything!” she said.

“Wait until I get a pitchfork to drive it out, and I will see what it is. Light a lantern for me,” Mr. Smith commanded.

With a pitchfork in one hand and a lantern in the other, Mr. Smith started down the cellar stairs with the neighbor farmer close behind him brandishing a long whip in one hand and holding his dog by the collar with the other.

The dog quickly smelt the calf, gave a jerk and down the stairs he bounded, knocking the lantern out of Mr. Smith’s hand, putting out the light and smashing the chimney. Then the hubbub began. The dog chased the calf around the cellar, giving her nips every once in a while that made the poor frightened beast bellow. At last the calf made for the stairs. Seeing a big red animal with blazing eyes come out of the darkness, the two farmers turned and fled. But the animal came after them, followed by the dog. When they were out in the light of day, Mr. Smith saw it was only a calf, but a very queer calf. By this time the calf was standing on the kitchen table right in the midst of the luncheon dishes. She had been so terrified by the dog that she had jumped on a chair and from there to the table. The dog was barking furiously and trying to get up on the table too.

“Get out of here! You have made enough trouble for one day!” and the farmer grabbed his dog by the collar and dragged him out. Indeed, he literally had to drag him away from the calf. He whined and made a terrific fuss as he was dragged along, and it was only by tying him to the back of the wagon that his owner took him away.

The moment the Twins saw the dog disappear into the house they had cut sticks for home, and never stopped running until they came to the pond where their father and mother and all the rest of the Watson farm animals were standing in the water.

“What are you all standing in the water for?” asked Punch.

“We are making ourselves clean for the party,” answered their father. “But where have you been? You look as if you had been standing in a lake too, you are so wet with perspiration.”

“Oh, we have been racing down the hill to see which could reach here first,” easily replied Punch.

“Well, you better lie down in the shade and cool off. Don’t you dare come into this cold pond until you are perfectly dry. If you do, both of you may have chills.”

So off the Twins walked and lay down under a tree to watch the other animals. “My, Punch, but that was an awful scare! He frightened me so I am still trembling,” confessed Judy.

CHAPTER V
THE “WELCOME HOME” PARTY

AT last it was nearly time to start for the party. The only thing there was to wait for now was for Mr. and Mrs. Watson to go to bed, as it would never do for the animals to start and then have Mr. Watson come out to the barn and discover them all gone.

To-night of all nights it seemed as if he would never turn out the lights. All eyes in the barnyard were watching the living-room, waiting for the lights there to be turned out and for those in the bedroom to be switched on. The window shades were up and the animals could see Mr. Watson comfortably seated in his big armchair reading the evening paper, his wife near him busy with her knitting.

“Oh!” exclaimed one of the young heifers, “I am growing so nervous waiting I could kick down the barn doors! It is such a glorious evening I want to start early and stay late.”

“There,” said another cow, “he has gone out to the pump to get his last glass of cold water before retiring, for I can hear the old pump handle squeak. But oh, dear me, he is sitting down again! He never does that! He always goes to bed directly after he drinks his glass of water.”

“See, Mrs. Watson is holding up the sock she is knitting and she is pointing to the toe. I believe she is asking him to wait until she finishes it. Yes, that is surely what she has done, for he is taking up his paper again,” remarked a third.

“I shall just die,” said the young heifer, “if they do not soon go to bed and let us get off. There are so many of us, why couldn’t some of us go on ahead? Then if he comes out, there would be plenty left and he would not miss those who have gone.”

This was being discussed when oh, joy! the lights in the living-room went out and those upstairs flashed on. A minute after that the procession, Billy at its head, moved silently but quickly out of the barnyard and down the hill to the little stream in the meadow which they followed until it brought them to Mr. Smith’s farm as this was the same little brook that wandered through Mr. Smith’s pasture where the party was to be held.

First came Billy and Nannie, then Billy Junior and Daisy, and then followed in pairs the pigs, sheep, young cattle, old cows and horses last. In this way the shortest went first and each could see over the heads of the animals in front of them. You never saw such a clean, glossy lot of animals as every one of them had spent most of the day in cleaning and shining their coats, either by taking a bath in the brook or rolling in the sand. Then to make themselves smell sweet, they had rolled in the mint bed by the stream or else crushed the sweet smelling garden pinks that had boldly pushed their heads through the garden fence.

They had gone about half their way when in the dim light they saw Farmer Jones’ cattle hurrying helter skelter in their direction, likewise bound for the party. They were coming in no regular order at all. First one would be ahead and then another. And their coats looked mussed and dirty. One white cow had great chunks of mud clinging to her sides.

When the Jones cattle saw how beautifully clean and spick and span the Watson animals looked, they were so ashamed of their own appearance that they felt like going home, and, in fact, the white cow did go back and clean up, arriving much later. She could not face the glossy cattle while she was in such a mess.

The leader of the Jones cattle was an old, old cow, and when she came up to Billy and saw how fine his procession looked, she gave a deep sigh and said, “I never thought of asking my cattle to clean up or to form into a procession, and here we come to the party looking just as we do every day. My, oh my! I can’t tell you how mortified I feel! But I assure you I never thought of cleaning up or of marching over in a dignified way instead of all rushing along pell-mell. But then you are young and up-to-date while I am old and set in my ways and how I am going to look never enters my head. I guess I am too old to be the leader of young stock and I shall resign my place to-morrow. Do you think we would have time to clean up a bit before we go to the party?” she inquired anxiously.

“Certainly! There is lots of time. Just go down to the brook and wade in it a little while and you will even then have ample time to get to the party before it is late. We came early because the younger cattle were so impatient to be off that I consented to an early start,” said Billy.

“Thank you so much, Mr. Whiskers, for your kind advice. I shall take it, and when we appear at the party at least we shall have the dust and dirt washed out of our hair, even if we do not shine like all of you. We won’t have time to let our hair dry and lick it down. What is more, when we do arrive, we will come in some sort of order, and not all helter skelter,” and she walked off to issue instructions covering what she planned to do.

She really expected to have a great deal of trouble in persuading her cattle to stop to clean themselves. But not so; they were every one glad to do so as they saw what a sorry sight they made compared to Billy’s procession.

When Billy arrived, he took his stand beside Mr. and Mrs. Spots, who were receiving under an old gnarled weeping willow tree beside the stream. He then presented to Mr. and Mrs. Spots those of his animals who had never met their host and hostess, after which the procession broke rank and wandered at will in little groups, mingling with the animals from the other farms. It was a very large party—the largest by far ever given by animals in these parts.

About half an hour after Billy’s group arrived, the Jones cattle came, and you never saw such a difference in appearance in the way they looked now and in the meadow.

The animals were having a most enjoyable time when suddenly they heard the most distressing baaing and groaning down in the meadow, but coming nearer and nearer as if the animal was running. As they listened, they could distinguish the words “Mama, mama, save us, save us!” Daisy pricked up her ears and recognizing the voices, she was off with a bound. Her husband followed, and Billy Whiskers too.

“What ever can be the trouble?” said Nannie. “The Twins wanted to come with us, but of course we would not permit that. Probably they have followed us and been frightened by something.”

That is just what it proved to be. The Twins grew lonesome after their father, mother, grandfather and grandmother and all the farm animals had departed, so they decided to follow them but keep out of sight when they reached the party. But when they were in the meadow where the grass grew away over their heads, they became frightened and were debating whether or not to go back home when with a bound there came a wolf out of the tall grass. Now if there is one thing a goat fears more than all else, it is a wolf.

The Twins let out a wild baa and began to run like mad toward the party, where they knew they would gain safety. As they ran they could feel the hot breath of the wolf and they were about to drop in sheer fright and exhaustion from running and crying when just before them they saw their grandfather, father and mother. With one bound Billy was beside them, ready to kill the grey wolf he saw close behind them. But when he looked a second time, instead of a wolf, he saw a neighbor’s big grey dog. He was also coming to the party and the Twins in their fright had mistaken him for a wolf.

Daisy was determined to take the Twins right back home, but Mr. and Mrs. Spots insisted that she put them to bed with their children in the stable, where they could sleep in safety until the party was over. This was finally agreed upon, and when everything was quiet again, Billy was asked to give them a talk about his travels.

CHAPTER VI
THE BRAZILIAN BULL FIGHT

AFTER the calling of “Speech! A speech from Billy Whiskers!” had died down some, Billy climbed up to a shelf of rock that protruded from the brow of a hill overlooking the lower stretch of land where the party was in progress. From this vantage point he could be seen and heard by all. The moment he stepped forward and began to speak, there was dead silence and not a horse or cow so much as switched its tail to chase away the flies.

“My dear friends, it gives me great pleasure to be back in your midst once more, and to have the opportunity to see and speak to you. My very dear and old friends, Mr. and Mrs. Spots, who have made it possible for me to meet you all this evening, have asked me to relate one or two of the experiences I had while away. I can assure you I have had many thrilling ones. But instead of telling you about them, I am going to describe one of the most peculiar sights I saw while in South America.

“As you well know, wherever a country has been settled by the Spanish or the Portuguese, there bull fights have been introduced, as it is the national sport of those two countries. Consequently when I was in Rio de Janeiro and heard people talking about going to the bull fight on Sunday afternoon (they are always held on Sunday) I decided to see what they were like, though I did not relish the idea in the least as I dislike to see any kind of an animal hurt or abused. You see I had heard that a bull fight is one of the most cruel sports engaged in by any nation. Still I felt that as long as I was in a country where they had them, I had better go and see how they are conducted and what the people who attend these fights look like. If I found it too cruel, I could come away.

“I followed the crowd going to the bull ring, and succeeded in slipping in between the people and finding a good place away up on the last tier of seats from which to witness the fight.

“I had been there only a few minutes when with a blare of trumpets a pair of double doors was thrown open and out rode a toreador on a coal-black horse prancing in time to the music as he champed his bit while his rider bowed low to the audience. Before him as he pranced around the ring went two trumpeters dressed in red velvet and silver lace, blaring away on their extra long beribboned trumpets. As for the toreador, he was costumed in black velvet and gold lace, and wore a three-cornered hat with a long flowing white ostrich plume, and carried a long spear held upright. Behind him marched the picadores and matadores.

“After this company once circles the ring, it is the custom for the toreador to take his place in the middle of the ring, facing the door through which the bulls enter the ring from their partially darkened stalls. The door from the stall into the ring is thrown wide open and seeing the bright light, the bull rushes for it, so that when he first enters the ring he is blinded by the sudden glare, and he stands, head erect, looking in all directions, puzzled which way to turn.

“The first bull to enter on the day I was there was a magnificent jet black beast with long, pointed horns, though the points had been sawed off, as that is the law in Brazil. Also no horse or bull may be killed or injured. The toreador, picadores and matadores are there to protect the horse and to keep him from being disemboweled or injured in any way. They are permitted to tease the bull and throw long darts into the bull but not to injure him.

“When I found this out I was delighted for now I could enjoy watching the fight and let my nerves quiet down.

“As soon as the bull’s eyes were accustomed to the light, he spied the toreador on the horse facing him, and with a snort he began to paw the dirt and switch his tail. He charged on horse and man but he was not quick enough. The horse jumped to one side and the toreador threw a dart that sank into the bull’s hind quarter. With a quick turn the bull was after them again and for some little time they chased each other here, there and everywhere around the ring until the toreador had thrown another dart into him.

“While the toreador was trying to make the darts stick in the bull’s shoulders or haunches, the picadores teased him by shaking a red cape in his face or else throwing it in front of him just when he was about to gore the horse. The bull took after the picadores and they had to run for safety, jumping over a medium high wall that surrounded the whole ring, and formed a very narrow passageway. It was built just high enough for a bull that is a good jumper to get over, but the passageway was so narrow that if he went over straight, there was not sufficient room for the bull. This bull hung over the wall until he could twist himself straight, which delay gave the picadores time to escape and they returned to the ring. This happened many times that day and made the audience howl with delight and clap their hands. As soon as the bull would get himself straightened out, he would run around the enclosure until he came to an open door, and running through it he would find himself in the ring once again.

“This performance continued with each bull until he would have two darts sticking in him and then another bull was brought on, and this one was led out by six cream-colored oxen with humps on their backs like water buffalo have. These oxen were trained to walk over to where the bull stood and quietly encircle him, so that he walked out in the midst of friends.

“As many as eight or nine bulls were used in that one afternoon. Some of them would not fight at all, even though stuck with sharp darts and annoyed in every imaginable way. When one refused to fight, it was led out by the cream-colored oxen and another bull brought in.

“The performance was concluded with a kind of burlesque show such as one might see at a circus. Two men dressed in suits made of thick rubber like automobile tires came into the ring. They were so clumsy in their suits they could scarcely waddle, and when a bull knocked them over, he could not hurt them. When they fell and he rolled them around, they simply pulled their heads into the suits much as a tortoise pulls its head into its shell, and let the bull maul them until he was driven off by the picadores. Then the picadores would help them to their feet as their suits made them so clumsy they could not get up if once they fell down.

“These men made the bulls furious. They bellowed and stamped and swished their tails with anger, all of which tickled the crowd immensely.

“Another thing they had that greatly pleased the audience was a paper ship under full sail. Four men got inside the ship and carried it around. It was a comical sight as the men’s legs showed below the ship where the water ought to be. They stood where the bull would see the ship the first thing on entering the ring. At first the bull was so astonished he simply stood still and stared at them. Then with a swish of his tail, he made for it at full speed. A single onslaught shattered it and there was a grand melee of bull, men’s legs, sails and splinters. The bull was all tangled up in the sails, and while he was trying to extricate himself, a man on stilts and dressed in a long Mother Hubbard and wearing a false face of Mother Hubbard and that good lady’s bonnet walked into the ring. For a while Mother Hubbard dodged the bull cleverly, but at last she stumbled and fell across the bull’s back. When the bull finally freed himself of his burden, the false face with the bonnet was still sticking between his horns, the dress and stilts trailing across his broad back, while the man impersonating Mother Hubbard was running for shelter back into the bull shed.

“This was the last performance of the day and it sent the crowd home laughing instead of horrified as a real bull fight would have done. And I for one say that all bull fights should be like this one and no government should be permitted to hold such cruel and horrible ones as are given in Spanish countries.”

Billy bowed low in conclusion and was about to leave the jutting rock he had used as a platform when the crowd of animals below cried, “Tell us something more! Tell us something more! We never travel nor see anything of the world, and it will be the greatest treat for us if you will tell us what you saw and did.”

So Billy walked back to his place and proceeded to relate how he had personified King Neptune.

CHAPTER VII
BILLY PERSONIFIES NEPTUNE

“THIS adventure took place while I was on the good ship Vandyck bound for South America,” began Billy. “As the ship neared the equator, there was great excitement on board for a fancy dress ball was being planned to welcome King Neptune when he boarded the ship as we glided over the equator.

“Those of the passengers who had brought no fancy costumes with them had to improvise them out of things they had and by the help of borrowed finery, for at such a time travelers are more than willing to loan anything they possess to help piece out the costume of a fellow-passenger. Especially was this true on board the Vandyck, as prizes were to be given for the best costume made on board, and another for the costume truest to type, while honorable mention was promised to that person wearing the handsomest costume.

“The ball was at its height when the ship’s bells rang out the hour of midnight, the dance was stopped and all eyes were turned toward the side of the ship over which Neptune was to appear and claim his throne. Then all the passengers were to walk before him and be presented by the court officials dressed in full court regalia. After the presentation, games were to be played and feats of skill performed before King Neptune for his amusement, after which refreshments were to be served and the gayety and dancing kept up until very late.

“Generally one of the ship’s officers takes the part of Neptune, for you must know this ball is held on every trip the ship makes to South America. And very fine does he look with snow-white hair and flowing beard and long purple velvet robe with its ermine cape, to say nothing of the golden crown and all the other regalia of a really truly king, even to the golden staff tipped with Neptune’s trident.

SEEING MR. ROBINSON DANGLING THERE, BILLY GAVE HIM A MIGHTY
BUTT THAT SHOVED HIM ALL THE WAY THROUGH.
(Page [95])

“But on this trip the officers had conceived the idea of dressing me up as king and seating me on the throne, as I have been trained to sit up and hold my fore legs down like arms. So the night the ball was in progress, the officers seated me on the throne while the guests were dancing. Once seated, they hurriedly draped the royal purple robe around me, fitted the golden crown on my head to hide my horns, tied the staff to my left leg which I rested on the arm of the golden chair of state, stuck a monocle in one eye, and as the ship’s bells ceased ringing at midnight, a page with a silver trumpet marched to the side of the ship where the guests were dancing and led the way to King Neptune’s throne, where they were presented. When the passengers raised their heads after the deep ceremonial bow of presentation, each one was impressed by a weirdness in King Neptune’s appearance. The more they gazed, the more pronounced was the strangeness. What could it be? There was the long white hair and beard, but the eyes had a peculiar twinkle in them and the nose was exceedingly broad. Why did the king look so different from all other times they had seen him? This was Neptune. Yet it was not the Neptune they had expected to see. But they could not tarry in front of him and stare while in a procession, for after their ceremonial bow they must move on, giving place to others.

“Once they had passed by the throne, the passengers quickly gathered in groups to discuss the queer looking Neptune. Every one had been presented when a great clatter was heard. Neptune had dropped his staff, and the next thing they knew, they were gazing at the unusual spectacle of a king running on all fours from his throne, and as they looked, they saw him approach the side of the ship and plunge over its side.

“It was not the ocean into which I, King Neptune, leaped but only the swimming tank at the ship’s side, just under the promenade deck, but they said afterward it looked exactly as if the king had jumped into the ocean. Every one ran to that side of the ship, expecting to see the king rising and falling on the billows but no king could they see. Had they watched the swimming tank, they would have seen a goat being divested of his robes and crown by five or six sailors who were trying to save me from drowning, as I had become so entangled in my robes I could not swim. All the while the sailors were trying to keep me from drowning, other sailors were letting out the water as fast as it could be drained from the tank.

“It was some time before the excited passengers could return to their dancing and march before the judges but it was finally accomplished. They decided that the prettiest costume was worn by a sweet young girl representing a pink rosebud. The overskirts of her dress formed the petals of the rose, and she wore a wreath of buds in her sunny gold hair. The most handsome costume was that of a tall, stately brunette who appeared as the Queen of Sheba. Her garments had been brought from Egypt. The best outfit made from things picked up on board was a Turkish lady of the harem. She wore changeable yellow silk bloomers loaned by one of the ladies coming back from Turkey. Over them she wore a rainbow tinted scarf tied as a sash, with a crimson velvet jacket over a blouse with flowing white silk sleeves embroidered in gold, while over her head was thrown a pale silver-blue veil, thin and airy as a cloud, held in place by a gold band worn low on her forehead. On neck, wrists and ankles tinkled gold coins, while on her feet she wore bright red morocco slippers with sharp-pointed toes. She made a perfect favorite of the harem. The most original costume was fashioned entirely of newspapers and was called ‘current events.’

“They said the only drawback to the whole evening’s performance was the loss of Neptune’s robe which I had ruined by jumping into the water. But when the passengers found out that it was their old pet Billy Whiskers who had impersonated King Neptune, they thought it was so clever of me to sit on the throne for so long decked out in all that finery that they did not blame me for running away. They took up a collection to buy a new robe in the place of the one the water had ruined, and so, my friends, no harm came of the unusual evening.

“When I went down below to my quarters where all the animals belonging to the passengers were kept, they gathered around me to hear what had taken place.

“‘Tell you what, Bill,’ said an English bulldog, ‘you did make a bully good looking king. Really in your royal robes you did not look unlike King George—and I have seen King George and know what I am talking about.’

“‘But what made you jump into the swimming tank?’ asked a French poodle.

“‘For the moment I forgot it was there,’ I explained, ‘and I ached so from sitting up so long that I thought my back would break. Then, too, the crown was cutting into my head, and I was half smothered with that fur cape and all the rest of the things I wore.’

“‘It is a good thing we saw them dress you up in the afternoon to find how the things were going to fit you,’ said another dog, ‘or we would never have gotten a peep at you, for they shut us in at sundown and you did not appear until midnight.’

“That is the whole story,” concluded Billy, bowing left and right, and stepping down from the rocky ledge he had used as a platform.

Now it was Stubby’s turn to tell of his experiences.

CHAPTER VIII
STUBBY RELATES HIS EXPERIENCE WITH SEALS

STUBBY looked only as big as a minute as he mounted the rock to recount his experience.

“The most thrilling and exciting adventure I had while we were in California was at the Catalina Islands, where we went to ride in the glass-bottomed rowboats they have there so people may see the bottom of the ocean and get a peek at the sea feathers, coral, flowers and fish. What one sees through the clear water is most beautiful. Little hills and hollows of the purest yellow or white sand, with long, dull pink swaying plants resembling ostrich plumes growing out of it. Next to them there may be bright yellow fan-shaped plants around the roots of which is white and pink coral exactly the shape of a man’s brains, or else in the form of sprays. And from these same mounds of glistening golden sand will bloom the delicate waxy sea anemones. Oh, it is most enchanting, and one expects to see a mermaid glide through this sea garden along with the gold, blue and silver fish that swim among these plants as our birds fly through our trees.

“Then if one wishes to row out about a mile where the water is so deep the bottom cannot be seen, they find the shoals of bluefish. That is a wonderful treat, for here they will see hundreds of young bluefish from six to twelve inches long, all facing in the same direction, apparently resting on the long-stemmed plants that grow up from the bottom of the ocean and have little yellow balloons on the stems to keep them from falling back. This is one of the feeding places of the bluefish where they stay when the tide is running out and eat the particles of sea food it washes out to them. All the fish face one way, there being tiers of fish, one on top of the other, with only a few inches between each tier as far down in the ocean as one can see.

“The queerest part of it is that they keep their fins moving in and out but do not move or swim about at all. They are as blue as the bluest sky you ever saw and they make a wonderfully beautiful picture.

“As one approaches these bluefish banks, as they are called, the reflection of their color makes the water above them turn a dark shade so the fishermen can tell by the color of the water where they are feeding.

“You will say there is nothing thrilling about this peaceful scene,” said Stubby. “But wait! I am coming to that. I just had to tell you about this most exquisite sight.

“Well, when we came back from our ride in the little rowboat, a man on the dock was calling out, ‘Right this way for the glass-bottomed steamer that takes you to the Seal Rocks! You see the seals at home and the way they live. All the way there you can gaze through the glass bottom and see the wonderful Sea Garden. At a point where it is most beautiful a man in a diver’s suit will enter the water and bring to you any flower or shell you may wish. Starting in ten minutes, returning in one hour for the small price of one dollar. Don’t miss seeing this wonder garden of the deep!’

“It all sounded good to me, so I went on board and prepared to gaze at the same beauties I had seen in the rowboat, but when we started I was very much disappointed to see instead of the exquisitely colored fish, flowers and swaying plants just a few unattractive shells, and no flowers or feathers at all. And when the diver went overboard there was nothing attractive for him to get to bring back. I heard one of the passengers say that he had taken this trip years ago and that then there were sea feathers and plants and coral but that all the years people had been carrying them away until now scarcely anything was left. What we did see were put there from time to time, so the diver could have something to bring the people, charging twenty-five cents for each piece he brought. So I stopped gazing through the glass bottom and went to the side of the boat where I could watch the antics of a mother seal and two or three others. The boat seemed to make them very angry, and the mother seal appeared to be trying to stop it or frighten it away, for she kept up a constant crying and approached nearer and nearer the boat as if she wished to bite it.

“I heard the captain tell a lady the seal made such a fuss because she was trying to frighten the boat so it would not go to her home on Seal Rock; that possibly she had a baby there that she had left behind while she went out to look for food.

“When we round that point you see ahead, you will hear the most awful racket set up for all the seals will begin to bark. The males will dive and leap out of the water and come toward us, swimming round and round the ship and under us all the time we are at the Rocks, for this is where they live and breed. Do you see that big, dark object on the top of that large rock projecting out into the sea? Well, watch it closely and you will see it is a seal. He is their leader and he always stays out there where he can catch the first glimpse of any intruder and give the alarm. He is by far the oldest and largest seal in these waters. There are now many young seals on the island, which makes him more fierce than usual for the male seals look after their families well and try to protect them from all danger.

“‘There, he has spied us and given alarm! When we turn that point of land he is on we will be facing a curved rocky beach and on those rocks you will see hundreds and hundreds of seals of all ages and colors, for the baby seals are cream colored, while the older seals have dark brown coats.’

“True to all the captain said, the moment we rounded the point, one would have thought bedlam had been turned loose, for every seal was barking—the old seals loudly and fiercely, the baby seals with mere squeaks.

“I left the captain and went to the side of the ship to watch the seals slip off the high rocks into the water and come toward us with that peculiar gliding motion seals alone have. In a few minutes there were hundreds of them around our boat. I was standing by a little eight-year-old boy, my fore paws on the rail of the boat, when, horror of horrors! I felt him give me a push and into that seething mass of angry seals I went head first. I thought my time had come, and that I would be eaten alive, the seals looked so fierce. They swam under me, tossing me three or four feet up in the air. They swam over me, sending me almost to the very bottom of the ocean. Then again they would swim around me, twirling me around so fast it made my head swim. Every minute I expected to have them bite me. When I came to the surface after one of those times when they had pushed me down to the bottom, I heard the boat’s whistle tooting like mad and I realized that the captain was doing it to frighten the seals away. It served the purpose, too, for it did that very thing, every one of the seals quickly making for the shore. As soon as they had left me, I swam toward the boat and the captain lowered a bushel basket tied to a rope for me to crawl in, which I did and then a sailor pulled me quickly to the deck. Since that day I have never wanted to see a seal and when I chance to walk through a park and hear them barking, it makes the cold shivers run up and down my spine to think what I endured while those seals were surrounding me.”

Stubby’s experience pleased the crowd greatly, and they showed their appreciation by stamping their feet on the ground and bellowing, grunting, barking, meowing, baaing and bleating.

Amidst this applause Stubby left the platform.

CHAPTER IX
BUTTON IS SPEAKER

AFTER Stubby had spoken, it was Button’s turn to tell what had befallen him.

“If you animals will excuse me, I shall be greatly obliged, as I am no speaker and nothing of interest has happened to me for a long time,” he said.

“Oh, yes, there has! I know there has!” said Billy. “Go ahead and tell them what happened to you at the Barbados!”

“Yes, do,” Stubby agreed. “That was an extremely exciting experience.”

So Button mounted the rocky ledge and began:

“Our ship had anchored about two miles out in the roadstead, and everyone was on deck waiting for the little rowboats to come to take them ashore. The water is not deep enough at the wharf for sea-going vessels to dock. As they waited, the passengers were hanging over the rail watching the little negro boys dive for coins down into the deep, deep waters where sharks and swordfish lurk awaiting a chance to bite off an arm or leg or run a long sword into the body of an unwary swimmer.

“A man and his wife in a rowboat came up close to the ship to display their wares. They had a lovely parrot in one cage and another full of red, yellow and vari-colored birds for sale, and also jewelry cleverly fashioned out of shells, and handbags made of the brown, glossy reeds of a plant that grows on the island. I was watching the pair when quick as a wink a man pushed me off the ship’s rail where I was curled up to view all that went on beneath me.

“My surprise was so great when I found myself falling from the height of the promenade deck that I could not think, and when I landed in the woman’s lap in the rowboat, I would have leaped overboard had she not held on to me.

“The man who had pushed me overboard called out, ‘The cat for a parrot! That cat is a valuable one but I will part with him for your talking parrot.’

“To his surprise, the woman quickly agreed to the trade and tied the parrot’s cage to a rope that was let down. The cage had just reached the deck level and the man was untying it when I spied it as it was loosened and swung in the woman’s lap. With a bound I grabbed it and began to climb up. The woman’s husband stretched out his hand to stop me but he was too late. I had climbed too high for him to reach me and in trying to do so he came near upsetting his boat with all his wares and his wife in it. Indeed, had it not been for the woman’s presence of mind to throw her whole weight to the opposite side of the boat, it would surely have capsized.

“When I reached the top of the rope, the man who had thrown me overboard tried to prevent me from coming on deck by pushing my head back. But at last I wearied of having him treat me so, and the next time he touched me I reached out one paw and gave him a scratch that quickly made him let go the rope. While he was nursing his hand and too engrossed with the pain to think of what I was doing, I jumped aboard and ran into the saloon. As I went, I heard the boatman and his wife calling loudly to the man on board to send back their parrot or pay them for it. After tormenting them for some time by pretending he was going to keep the parrot, he wrapped some money in a paper and threw it into their boat.

BILLY SURPRISED AUGUSTA BY BUTTING HER RIGHT OVER HIS HEAD,
AND SHE LANDED IN THE TROUGH WITH A GREAT SPLASH.
(Page [113])

“I considered it a narrow escape for I would not have lived with that couple for worlds. There is no country, no matter how beautiful, where I have ever been or about which I have ever heard in which I should like to live but the United States of America.

“Well, as time went on, the man who bought the parrot neglected her so, forgetting to feed her and give her water to drink and for her bath that I felt sorry for her and I told her that when we stopped at the Island of Trinidad I would open her cage door and let her out if she thought she could fly ashore and take care of herself after she had gained land.

“‘Of course I can, for my wings have never been clipped and on that island grows every kind of food I need, just as in the Barbados.’

“‘Very well, then, I will open your cage door and free you,’ I promised.

“Consequently when we reached Trinidad, I wiggled and fussed with her cage door until I succeeded in opening it. Then I had the pleasure of seeing her fly for the shore, where she alighted on the top of a tall cocoanut palm tree. How I did enjoy her owner’s discomfiture when he discovered she was gone! He made a great fuss and said his bird had been stolen and insisted the entire ship be searched for her, though one of the sailors said he had seen a green parrot fly to shore shortly after we had landed. He declared parrots are clever birds and said she probably loosed the door with her bill and squeezed herself out, as he had seen them do that trick before.”

The crowd cheered and cheered in the usual way and said they wished Button would tell them another experience. But he hurried off the rock platform and lost himself in the crowd so they could not press him to tell another.

CHAPTER X
BILLY RUNS AWAY

ALL the next day the animals and fowls too listened with all their ears to discover whether or not Mr. Watson or any of the farm hands knew they had been away at a party the night before. But not a word was spoken about it so they decided no one thought they had been off the farm.

“My, didn’t we have a good time? One to be remembered all our lives! And Father Billy’s talk was most entertaining,” said Daisy.

“We certainly did, and the Chums related such thrilling things that it would almost pay to let them go traveling again so they could have some more unusual experiences to relate when they came home,” agreed her husband.