BILLY RAN BETWEEN THE SHORT, FAT LEGS
OF THE COOK AND UPSET HIM.
(Page [20])

BILLY WHISKERS
OUT FOR FUN

BY

FRANCES TREGO MONTGOMERY

AUTHOR OF “BILLY WHISKERS,” “BILLY WHISKERS’ KIDS,” “BILLY
WHISKERS’ ADVENTURES,” “BILLY WHISKERS IN THE MOVIES,”
“FRANCES AND THE IRREPRESSIBLES AT BUENA
VISTA FARM,” “THE WONDERFUL ELECTRIC
ELEPHANT,” ETC., ETC.

Illustrated by PAUL HAWTHORNE

THE SAALFIELD PUBLISHING COMPANY
AKRON, OHIO NEW YORK

MADE IN U. S. A.

Copyright 1922
by
The Saalfield Publishing Co.

CONTENTS

ILLUSTRATIONS

Billy Whiskers Out for Fun

CHAPTER I
BILLY WHISKERS, NANNIE, STUBBY AND BUTTON START ON A PLEASURE TRIP

“MY dear Nannie, what do you say to our seeking the sunny South for the winter? I am getting too old to enjoy huddling up to the lee side of a strawstack to keep warm or sleeping in a drafty barn. Here it is the first of September and by traveling slowly and taking our time, we could reach southern California by the first of November.”

“California! Did I hear you say California?”

“Yes. Why not?”

“I thought you meant Florida or Mississippi or some of those states when you said South, for I always think of California as West and cold, not warm.”

“Oh, no! I don’t like Florida and those Gulf of Mexico States as well as the warm climate of California. They have too many crocodiles and snakes to suit me.”

“But, Billy, think what a hard trip it would be to travel all those thousands of miles.”

“Not at all, my dear! We would travel only when we felt like it. At other times we could find some nice farm on which to live or a small town to stay in and we would enjoy the change of scenery as we traveled along from day to day. I have been on the move so much that I feel it would be positively impossible for me to stay here on this old farm away up in Wisconsin where nothing happens from one month’s end to the other all winter.”

“I know, dear, you have the wanderlust in your blood, and rather than have you stay here and be unhappy, I will go with you.”

“That is said like a darling little wife, and I know you will never regret the trip. It will do you good and liven you up.”

“We will ask Stubby and Button if they don’t want to go with us.”

“No use asking them if they want to go for you know perfectly well that nothing would keep them from going unless you positively forbade them and then I doubt not that they would follow you at a close distance.”

All this conversation had taken place beside a strawstack on the farm where Billy Whiskers had been born. As he and Nannie stood beside it chewing the full wheat heads that had escaped the threshing machine, Billy had thought out the plan of crossing the continent on foot just to be doing something.

“Hi, there, Stub, you and Button come over here a minute! I have something to tell you.”

“From the way Nannie’s eyes are sparkling, I bet it is something exciting,” said Stubby.

“If so, hurry and tell us and relieve our feelings,” implored Button. “I hope to goodness it has action in it, for I can’t stand this monotonous life much longer with nothing to do but eat our three good meals a day.”

“You will find that what I have to propose to you has action in it. It has nothing but action. It is to take a short walk of three thousand nine hundred miles or so from here to where the Pacific Ocean laps the shores of Southern California.”

On hearing this, Stubby began to run round after his tail for joy.

“Hurrah for you!” exclaimed Button. “I am with you!” and he started to chase the chickens around the barnyard.

After they had run off some of their excitement, the two quieted down and Stubby came back and wanted to know when Billy proposed starting.

“This very night,” replied Billy. “There is no time like the present. Besides, the roads are in excellent condition for traveling as we have just had a rain that has laid the dust. It is full moon, too. We will wait until the family have all gone to bed, then we will give a hasty good-by to all our friends on the farm and start. And I think we better go across the field and down through the woods at the back of the farm buildings than along the road, as we would surely meet some farmer who would know us and tell Mr. Windlass in which direction he had seen us going.”

“There is only one drawback to our going and that is leaving behind Billy Junior, my son, and his wife and darling twin grandchildren. I hate so to say good-by that whenever I go I feel like sneaking off and not letting anyone know I am leaving. It does no good to say good-by and only makes me feel sad. But Nannie thinks differently. Wild horses could not pull her away if she did not get a chance to say farewell. There she goes now to say good-by to the chickens that have been shut in that coop to fatten for market, but they don’t know that and they just stuff themselves with the food that is given them and quarrel over it, entirely oblivious of the fact that every mouthful they take puts on more fat and brings them that much nearer the day of their death.”

Five hours after this conversation when all good-bys had been said, had you looked you would have seen two splotches of white weaving along in the high grass of the meadow, followed by a yellow splotch and a black splotch. For the long journey to California had begun.

They soon crossed the meadow and came out on the railroad track that led to Chicago by way of Milwaukee, Racine and Sheboygan. They followed this track as it was good walking between the rails and they were in no danger of being seen by farmers. Consequently they made good time and stopped to rest just before daylight on the outskirts of a small town. It was just light enough to see the smoke from the chimneys of the houses when the four friends awoke and sat up on their haunches and held a consultation as to whether they should go through the town or around it.

“I need a shave,” said Billy. “Let’s go through it.”

“You don’t mean to tell me,” said Nannie, “that you would be willing to go through the experience you once had when you were tied in a barber’s chair and the barber shaved off your beard, would you?”

“Oh! I had forgotten about that. But you fail to mention how I stood around the place and waited for him to go to dinner, and how I butted him over a grocer’s wagon that was standing in front of his shop, and when he landed, it was in the middle of a mud puddle,” and at the memory of it Billy laughed until his sides shook.

“I too say we go through the town,” said Stubby, “for I haven’t had a piece of butcher’s meat for ages and I should like to feel the blood trickling down my throat when my teeth sink into it and listen to the sound of my teeth grinding the bones. Yes, I say we go through.”

“That juicy meat sounds pretty good to me,” said Button. “I would not mind a steak myself even should it happen to be a tough one.”

“Well, Nannie, what have you to say to our plans? Should we be unlucky enough to be shut up, we are to baa, bark, and meow three times in quick succession and repeat three minutes apart. This is to be a guide to Nannie should she come back looking for us. If you hear a goat baaing, you are to listen and see if he baas naturally or baas as the signal says, three times every three minutes. The same way if you hear a dog or cat, you are to make sure whether it is Stubby or Button or some strange dog or cat.”

“That is all right for us, but what are we to do if we come to our trysting-place and find no Nannie?” said Stubby.

“If I am hiding somewhere, I too will baa every three minutes. But if you don’t hear me, you are all to begin hunting for me. For who knows but what a farmer with a big dog might come along and carry me off in his wagon so you could not follow my trail, or his dog chase me into some yard where I might be shut in?”

“Never you fear, Nannie,” said Stubby. “With my nose to scent you out and Billy’s horns to butt both the dog and farmer into next week, we can’t lose you. No, dearie; don’t be afraid! Your dear husband isn’t too old yet to rescue his little wife from dozens of farmers and their dogs.”

“Oh, she will be for going around,” spoke up Billy. “Safety First with her.”

“You are right, Billy. I should prefer avoiding all danger where it is possible. Besides, it will take up much more time to go through the town than around it.”

“Yes! But the fun and excitement we may miss!” replied Billy. “We are out for fun and adventures as much as to get to California.”

“I have an idea!” exclaimed Button. “You go around the town, Nannie, while we go through it and we will meet you the other side, two miles from the limits, on the main road that runs due south. For there must be a road running in that direction to Chicago where we make our first turn to the West.”

“An excellent idea, Button,” declared Billy. “What say you, little wifey?”

“Yes, I think it a good plan, for I hate excitement and crowds and hubbub. All of which you three adore and would rather be in than not.”

And so it was decided that Billy, Stubby and Button should go through the town and Nannie around it, meeting them the next day at noon. But should they not appear by the day after she was either to wait for them another day or come back and find what had happened to them. So they all rubbed noses together, their way of kissing, and baaing, barking and meowing good-bys and wishing good luck to each other, they separated, Nannie going to the west to circle the town and Billy, Stubby and Button following the railroad that led through the center of the town.

Had they known what was in store for them, they would not have kissed good-bys so cheerfully, I’m thinking.

CHAPTER II
BILLY WHISKERS, STUBBY AND BUTTON VISIT THE COUNTY FAIR

JUST as Billy, Stubby and Button were about to continue down the railroad track, Billy chanced to glance to the east and there he saw a cluster of long buildings that looked like barns and great open grandstands roofed over like baseball and football grounds and all enclosed with a high board fence. But what attracted him most was the number of flags, banners and pennants he saw waving from hundreds of flag-poles.

“Gee, fellows! That looks interesting to me, for those flags tell me there must be a County Fair going on over there, as this is the time of year they always have a big Fair. And I can well remember the one I went to when I was quite young. I never had such an enjoyable, exciting time in my life. What say you that we postpone going into the town and go over to the Fair instead?”

“Fine, just fine! I would like it above everything, for I haven’t been to one for years. I, like you, remember the time I was there, only I was such a little puppy that I was under everybody’s feet and was nearly run over several times, until at last my little master took me up in his arms and carried me. But I have always thought I should like to go back and see what it was like when I was old enough to take care of myself.”

“As for me,” replied Button, “I am ready for anything, just so I get something to eat pretty soon, for I am as hungry as a hedgehog.”

“That settles it!” said Billy. “And I can promise you the best things to eat and plenty of them. The country women bring all their good things to the Fair to contest for prizes, from the best roast chickens, cured hams all roasted and garnished with cloves stuck in them to make them tasty, to pickles and jellies of all sorts. As for pies, they would just melt in your mouth. But I forget you don’t care for jelly and spices. Very well then, there is a dairy exhibit where you can bathe in cream, there is so much of it.”

“Come along, come along! The very sound of cream makes my mouth water.”

The Chums soon arrived at the fairgrounds and it being so early, the only ones going in were the owners of exhibits and the men to feed and water the live stock, chickens, geese and ducks that were on exhibition. They watched their chance and slipped in when no one was looking, Billy walking in under a load of hay while Button rode in on a pole sticking out from the hay load and Stubby trotted in fearlessly as if he belonged to a man driving a wagon full of milk cans.

BILLY AND NANNIE WERE ON EITHER SIDE OF THE BULL,
STICKING THEIR LONG HORNS INTO HIM.
(Page [72])

Once in, they hid under the seats of the grandstand until they laid their plans—what they would do, where they would go and where they would meet.

“There is no use of our trying to keep together,” said Billy, “for if we do we will be stoned and clubbed and have no fun, so I say we separate and each amuse himself in the way he likes best, but that we all meet the other side of the town where we are to join Nannie.”

“The plan suits me to a tee,” said Button.

“And me too,” said Stubby.

“I think the first thing I will do will be to look up that dairy you were speaking of,” said Button.

“As for me,” replied Stubby, “I shall smell out those roast chickens and ducks. Where do you plan to go first?”

“I was just thinking I would go over to the fat stock show and while I looked around for old friends I would incidentally eat up some of the corn and oats that had been given to them. There is sure to be plenty left as their owners will be stuffing them to keep them fat.”

“Gee! Look at the crowd pouring in. And it is so early. We better get started before the crowd is so great we can’t get near anything. Au revoir, fellows, until we meet again! And be sure you turn up at the trysting-place!” And with a whirl of his tail Billy was off, running under the seats toward the fat stock exhibit.

Button followed him for a way, then he spied the dairy building to his left and made a bee line for it. When he reached the door, he found two dairy maids standing in the open door talking, and they were so excited over what they were saying that he sneaked in right beside them and was lapping the cream first from one pan and then from another. All of a sudden one of them turned round and seeing Button, she gave such an outlandish scream that it startled him and he fell headlong into the pan. In a minute he came out dripping, cream streaming into his eyes so he could not see. In his endeavor to get away, he fell into another as there were several pans cooling in a vat of ice-water. One of the maids grabbed up a broom and came for him. He jumped straight toward her and as she dodged him she slipped and fell into the vat of cold, cold water, upsetting every pan in the vat. Button landed on the floor and the jar shook the thick cream from his eyes so he could see. And you just better believe it did not take him long to escape. He had his fill of cream for once.

On his way to the fat cattle, Billy chanced to pass a pastry show and the delicious odor of hot molasses cakes floated to his nostrils through the open door.

“Oh my! Don’t those cookies smell good? I shall just have to have some for I haven’t had any old-fashioned molasses cookies for ages and I adore them. I also smell pumpkin pie which I like just as well. Guess I’ll just tarry here a while and eat some. Think they would taste better than corn or oats at this particular time. How I wish Nannie was not so timid! Then she would be here so she could get some, for I know she adores molasses cookies. If that big fat cook doesn’t stop standing in that doorway wasting his time, I shall have to butt him out while I go in and eat what I want. There, he is moving, and I smell something burning. Serves him right when he neglects them and wastes his master’s time and money standing at the door instead of attending to business. But ‘It is an ill wind that blows nobody any good’ for now he will be so busy looking after his things that he won’t see me helping myself.”

When Billy arrived at the front door, the cook was disappearing out the back door with the pan of burned cookies, mumbling to himself:

“Gott in Himmel! See what happens to me when I just step to the door for one breath of air! My Gott! My Gott! Mr. Swabenbach will kill me for wasting his butter und eggs und sugar und flour.”

“Yes, and he will feel like beating you to a jelly when he sees what has happened to his pies, for I have already tasted four different kinds,” thought Stubby.

Just then the cook returned, still muttering to himself. But when he saw Billy up on a table eating a pie and several others ruined by being trampled upon he nearly fell backward in alarm. Then with a roar like a bull he started for Billy, throwing his empty cookie pan at him. He threw it so hard that when it hit Billy’s sharp horns, they made two holes in it and it stuck to Billy’s head and slipped half over one eye. Billy immediately jumped to the floor, hitting the pan a bang on the side of the table and completely covering one eye. This made Billy angry and when he saw the cook approaching him with a long-handled soup boiler in his hand, Billy turned and, running between the short fat legs of the cook, he upset him, sending hot soup all over him, for it turned upside down on his head and spilled carrots, turnips and potatoes all over him. Billy ran out the back door and jumped a fence which brought him into a chicken yard. As he went over, the cookie pan on his head hit the fence in just such a way that it knocked it off his horns, much to Billy’s delight.

His arrival in the chicken yard caused a fresh commotion as it surprised the fowls so they flew in all directions and set up a loud cackling which brought the owner to see what was the matter. When he spied Billy he thought one of the prize goats had escaped from the cattle show, so hurried over there to tell them their goat was in his chicken yard. A man with a rope came back with him to capture Billy, never even stopping to see whether or not one of their goats had disappeared.

But when they returned not a goat was to be seen or a chicken either, for that matter, as the chickens had coaxed Billy to butt down the fence so they could escape and he had done so. And the minute it was down, the chickens in the yard flew and ran through the opening out into the fairgrounds and made for the outside fence.

Billy hurried away from this scene of mishaps and as he was now nearly to the fat stock pavilion, he decided to follow the crowd a way and see where all the people were going. He soon discovered that they were on their way to the race track to see a game of auto polo.

“Gee, I bet that will be exciting! As I never saw one, I think I will stop and watch it for awhile.”

Around the field, in and out, went the small polo autos after the ball. It was the most exciting thing he had ever watched and he wondered how in the world the players were not all killed, for the autos turned upside down, collided, skidded and ran head-on into each other. But after each mishap the men seemed to get up, shake a little dust off their clothes, wipe the dust from bleeding noses, and go right on with the game.

He was wildly excited and was watching with straining eyes a brilliant player when a heavy hand was laid on him and a gruff voice said: “Here you, old fellow, come along with me! You have caused all the trouble you are going to since your escape. And don’t you know it is almost time for your race around this ring in the donkey and dog race?”

“Gee! He takes me for some goat that is down to run a race with some donkeys and dogs, I take it. Well, I am game! I’ll go along and race to suit him. And I bet on myself to win that race.”

Billy was right. That was just what the man wanted of him, and with little preliminaries Billy was led to the starting place and hitched to a little racing sulky that a little darkey boy was to drive. Near by he saw two little donkeys, two big dogs and one goat hitched to sulkies like the one to which he was being harnessed.

He was led into the ring, the others were led up also and all of them stood in line. Then a bell rang, and they were off. It had been a long time since Billy had been in a race. Being out of practice running, he was left behind at first as his legs felt stiff and he was a little out of breath. But his pride got the better of his short breath and stiffness when he saw they were all ahead of him. He could not stand it to be beaten. He who had won every race he ever had been in. Oh, no! He would show them he was not too old and stiff to beat them. This was to be a three-lap race, which gave him encouragement.

“They can have their first lap; I’ll have my second wind and all my stiffness will be gone on the second. Besides the ones who start off the briskest often come in last.”

“Here, Billy, what is the matter with you? You must be sick to lag so on this race. Get a move on you or your rival, the slate-colored donkey, will beat you!” urged the boy that was driving him, never doubting that our Billy was the goat he had always driven.

With a bound forward that nearly threw the boy off his seat, Billy started on a mad run. Off he went, rounding corners and ever increasing his speed until he had passed all but his rival, the slate-colored donkey. When he came abreast of him, it was nip and tuck to the poles, but Billy came in a neck ahead.

But what was the surprise of the boy, his keeper and all the racing people to see another goat exactly like Billy standing in the gateway to the racing ring!

“Well, I’ll be switched!” exclaimed the boy. “Where did that goat come from that is so much like ours? We better nab him; he would make a great mate for ours.” Then he attempted to take hold of the collar on Billy’s neck, expecting to find the collar their goats always wore, but there was none. His surprise was unlimited, and he called to a man standing near their goat to feel for the collar and there it was.

“Well, I’ll be hanged! If I haven’t driven a strange goat and never known it was not our own!”

Everyone thought it was the strangest thing they had ever heard of and many followed the boy and Billy into the yard where he was unharnessed and then led away and tied up with some other goats and sheep.

They had just left him alone when whom should Billy see but Stubby sticking his head through a hole in the fence near him.

“Billy, I came to congratulate you on the race. I never saw a prettier one, but my heart was in my mouth for awhile, you were so long getting started. And now what are you going to do? Here you are tied up and it is time we were going on or Nannie will be looking for us.”

“Why, I am going to start in a few minutes, just as soon as they give me a drink and I eat a bite or two. I am rather tired and thirsty from my race.”

“But you are tied and they won’t untie you for a while, I can tell you.”

“Oh, Stub, you make me tired at times! Especially when you think any old rope will keep me from escaping. Here comes my drink of water. Vamoose to the other side of the fence and as soon as I have eaten and drunk my fill I will baa and then you crawl under the fence and come and help me chew this rope in two.”

“All right, I will,” barked Stubby.

After twenty minutes Stubby, who was about to fall asleep, heard Billy baa and under the fence he went. Within a very short time they had chewed in two the rope that held Billy and he had run to the fence where he butted a couple of boards off to make a hole big enough for him to crawl through. No one noticed his escape, for at that time of the day that part of the grounds was almost deserted.

Billy and Stubby proceeded toward town and they decided to sleep outside the village that night, and not go in until morning.

CHAPTER III
WHAT BEFELL THE CHUMS WHILE IN TOWN

WHEN they did go in the town they found the inhabitants were just getting up to breakfast, for they could smell bacon and potatoes frying and coffee boiling as they passed the houses. There were few people on the streets as yet so the Chums could go wherever they wished without being molested. But the odor of bacon and fried potatoes was so tempting to Stubby and Button and made them so hungry that they declared their intention of having breakfast before they traveled further. This food did not appeal to Billy but fresh lettuce and carrots with dew on them did, so he proposed that Stubby and Button try to get some bacon and potatoes while he jumped some garden fence and feasted on fresh vegetables until Stubby barked the signal for them all to move on.

But alas, these plans were made only to be broken.

Billy soon came to a house with a beautiful garden in front in which were climbing roses and many other kinds of flowers, while at the back was a big vegetable garden. On the way to the garden he nibbled off the fragrant, sweet tasting, full blooming red roses, taking care not to let the thorns prick him.

“Well, I declare!” said Billy to himself, “I never knew roses were so deliciously sweet and tasty before. Why, they are better eating than carrots or lettuce! The only trouble is that I can’t get a big mouthful at a time on account of having to look out for the thorns. Gee, I am caught in the bush! Wish I hadn’t tried to reach that big red rose on the topmost branch. I have gotten myself all tangled up. I know that rosebud looks very pretty in my beard and the one behind my left ear is equally jaunty and fetching, but jumping cats! those old thorns do scratch my sides like the dickens.”

Just then “Bow-wow, Bow-wow, Bow-wow!” barked a big dog at his back. The dog had sneaked up so suddenly and quietly behind Billy that he had not heard a sound. The first “Bow-wow” startled him so that he gave a bound out of the rosebush, leaving bunches of hair pulled out of his sides and strands of long hair pulled out of his beard. Encouraged by his jump, the dog thought Billy was afraid, so ran after him. But by this time Billy had recovered from his surprise and instead of continuing to run he whirled quickly and faced the dog. This move was so unexpected to the dog that he ran full force into Billy before he could stop himself and there they stood for a second, nose against nose. Being quick-witted, Billy recovered from his surprise first and before you could say Jack Robinson he had butted the dog head over heels out into the middle of the road. He picked himself up and went yelping home with his tail between his legs. And Mister Billy proceeded on his way to the vegetable garden back of the house where he jumped the fence. Finding a nice bed of lettuce, he planted himself in the middle of it and began to eat as quietly and placidly as if he had never seen a dog in his life. And while he is eating lettuce, we will see what luck Stubby and Button had finding a breakfast.

As soon as Billy left them they separated, one going on one side of the railroad track, the other on the other side. Then they ran along in front of the houses, smelling to find a place where they were cooking meat or potatoes. Stubby had run around to the back of a house where he had thought he smelled fried potatoes but what was his joy as he passed the kitchen window to smell the delicious odor of fried beefsteak as well as potatoes.

“Here is the place for me,” thought Stubby to himself. “I’ll stay right here until someone opens the kitchen door, then I shall sneak in and grab some of that steak.”

He hid under the back porch, and as he impatiently waited, he could smell the steak and hear it sputtering in the frying-pan until he was so hungry and wanted a piece of it so badly that he felt he could eat the whole cow instead of one steak. He was losing hopes of anyone ever opening the kitchen door when the cook did so and left it open to let the smoke out, for while she was in the dining-room the potatoes had burned to a crisp and filled the kitchen with smoke. While she and her mistress were fussing over the burned potatoes, Stubby slipped in the door under cover of the smoke and jumped up on the table where the steak was on a platter ready to be served. With one grab he had it in his mouth and was running out the door before they saw him. Then with a scream of rage and surprise, the cook grabbed a broom and gave chase. Stubby ran down the railroad track and then dodged into a back yard and crawled under a fence into an alley and ran until he came to an empty packing box leaning on its side. Into this he dodged and dropped the meat to rest his jaws while he stuck his head around one side of the box to see if the cook was still pursuing him. Through a crack in the fence opposite the box he caught a glimpse of her still running down the railroad track with a broom waving in mid-air and crying, “Stop thief! Stop thief!” So he knew she had lost him for good, and with a sigh of relief and contentment he lay down by the steak and began to eat it hurriedly. It seemed to him he had never tasted anything so good in all his life.

He was just about gorged and feeling sorry he could not eat it all, it was so good, when who should stick his head around the box and peer in but Button.

“For mercy sakes! What are you doing here?” asked Button.

“Can’t you see?” replied Stubby.

“Looks to me as if you had been stuffing yourself on beefsteak.”

“I have, and you are just in time to save me from killing myself by over-eating. Come on and finish it for me.”

“Think I will, but I can’t eat much as I have just dined on roast goose.”

“Roast goose for breakfast! Who ever heard of goose for breakfast?”

“No one, I guess. This goose was not for breakfast. It was for dinner, but the cook had roasted it so she would not have to watch it so closely when all her other things were on the fire. Then just before they were done she had intended putting this back in the oven and finish browning it. They are having a birthday party there to-day. She had put this on the window sill to cool and I saw it so I just jumped up on the sill, ate my fill and escaped without being seen. Gee, won’t she be mad when she finds what has happened? She will think a rat ate it.”

“My, what Billy and Nannie miss in the way of eating by being vegetarians! I really can’t see how they stand it,” remarked Stubby.

“Well, I have eaten all I can. I wish we had pockets in our skins so we could carry what is left for future use when we have no way of getting a morsel of meat,” said Button. “But as we can’t, don’t you think we better be moving on to find Billy?”

So they left the remains of the steak and continued down the alley. As they emerged, they looked down the street which faced the yard where Billy had feasted in the garden and they saw him running out of the yard, chased by a big fat cook with a dipper of hot water, a gardener with a rope, and a coachman with a long whip. But the Chums could see that Billy had such a good start that there was no likelihood of their catching him.

Then things began to happen. The cook stubbed her toe and fell flat. The gardener ran into a clothes-line which caught him under the chin and threw him back ten or fifteen feet. The coachman on seeing this ran back toward the stable. Then Stubby looked for Billy to come to them in the alley. He saw the three men standing there laughing to see the fat cook try to get on her feet again and the gardener go reeling off, holding his hands to his neck. At this moment the coachman appeared on a bicycle and, spying them, he made straight for them. Before they could get out of his way he was slashing them right and left with his long lashed whip, calling to them in an angry voice: “Take that, will you, you old garden thief!”

But he had a chance to beat each only once for Stubby crawled under the alley fence and Button ran up the fence and jumped down the other side, while Billy ran on, then stopped suddenly so the man would hit him and he would pitch head foremost off his wheel. This is just what happened. The wheel struck Billy, who was braced for it, and over the handle bar flew the coachman.

While he was picking himself up, Billy ran out of the alley and baaed for Stubby and Button. They answered, and soon the Chums were together again, hurrying down the railroad track.

CHAPTER IV
BILLY HAS AN EXCITING EXPERIENCE

THE two Chums ran down the sidewalk until they saw the outskirts of the town ahead of them and it being too early to meet Nannie, they decided to separate at the next street and go into the business part of the town and see what kind of a place it was.

“I see a good-looking yellow cat down the street I am going to talk to,” said Button.

“Very well,” replied Billy. “If I don’t see you again, be sure and be at the trysting-place by six o’clock this evening.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know yet. I haven’t made up my mind.”

And he never had a chance to make up his mind for at that moment a coat was thrown over his head from behind and many hands grabbed him. Ropes were slipped around his neck and legs and thus, half hobbled and half pulled, he was dragged up a short pair of steps into a barber shop, where amid much laughter which seemed to come from five or six throats, he was lifted and pulled into a barber’s big chair. Here he was securely held so he could not move a muscle and then the coat was taken from off his head and he found himself sitting in a barber’s chair before a glass with five big strong young boys around him laughing in his face.

And the ringleader spoke up and said: “Now, Tony, get to work and fix him up as I gave you directions!”

It seems these were college boys who were out for a lark and they were looking for a white goat when they chanced to see Billy. What they were up to was to catch a goat and shave him so his beard would be the same shape as that worn by one of the professors at the college whom they detested. He had a long face and pale blue eyes with the expression of a girl, so they were sure they could fix Billy up and dress him in the professor’s clothes so he would be taken for the professor himself in a semi-darkened place.

They wished to play a joke on the Junior class. The class had been up to some mischief and no one knew of it but these Seniors and they decided to make the Juniors believe that the professor knew all about it and was about to expel them. So they proposed to dress Billy up as the professor and tie him in a chair at a desk in the recitation room, and then tell the Juniors that the professor wished to see them there at nine o’clock.

“All ready, Tony! First cut his beard into a long point, then trim his hair on the side to look like side whiskers, and fix the hair on his upper lip to look like a long mustache. Then dye them all black but leave the rest of his face white. And oh yes, blacken his eyebrows and lashes!”

“Heavens, what am I to do to get loose? Think what I will look like with black beard, mustache, eyebrows and lashes. I really can’t stand it to have them do it. I will be a sight all the rest of my life with a face like that and a pure white back.”

Poor Billy! He tried to open his mouth to baa, but it was tied shut. He tried to move his head to look, but he was so securely tied he could not even turn his head one inch. Then he tried to kick, but his hind legs were tied together and his forelegs bound to the arms of the chair. He was absolutely helpless! He closed his eyes and wept for Billy was very proud of his size and good looks and to be a laughing-stock to every person that laid eyes on him hereafter was too much for his strong spirit to stand. So I know you won’t blame him if he wept for once in his life. But he promised himself that when he did get loose that he would spend the rest of his life getting even with those five boys and the barber.

“Clip, clip, clip!” went the shears and at every clip the boys and barber loudly howled with delight at the change it made in Billy.

“Now for the dye!” said the barber. “That will complete the likeness and I know it is going to be perfect.”

Billy felt some cold stuff around his face and soon the barber took a soft brush and put the cold liquid on his eyebrows and lashes.

“Oh, isn’t he a scream?” chuckled the boys.

“Come now, Mr. Goat, open your eyes and look at yourself in the mirror before you,” said the barber as he finished his job.

But Billy would not open his eyes until the barber threatened to shave the rest of the hair off his back unless he did open them. So he opened them and looked. There gazing at him from the mirror was not Billy Whiskers at all but a long-faced man with black whiskers, mustache and eyebrows under which shone two blue eyes which grew larger and larger as he stared at the face in the mirror. But where was he? For surely that black-bearded person was not Billy Whiskers! No amount of dye could change a goat to look so like a man. He was so taken by surprise that he just sat and stared and stared at the reflection, while the boys fell over one another in fits of laughter and clapped each other on the back and howled with delight.

“Here, Tony, is five dollars for you for doing such a wonderful job. Now where shall we hide him until it gets dark enough to lead him to the college?”

“I’ll put him in my cellar until you come for him,” said Tony.

“That will be fine! Give him plenty to eat and drink, for we don’t want to starve or hurt him in the least, and we will let him go the minute the joke is played out. Good-by, Tony, good-by!” called the boys as they filed out of the barber shop.

Tony shut the outside door and then cautiously untied Billy—all but the rope around his neck. With this he led him to the cellar. Billy could have butted him easily and made his escape, but he was too disappointed to fight at that moment. Besides, he wished to go to some cellar or dark place and hide until the dye wore off his beard and he looked like himself again.

The barber led Billy to the cellar where he took the rope from his neck and left him in a large room while he went to get him something to eat and drink. When he came back he said: “Now, old fellow, you better eat and drink what I have brought you and then take a rest for if I am not mistaken you will have a wild night of it when once those Junior college boys find out a goat has been palmed off on them as the professor.” So saying, he walked out and shut the door.

For a few minutes Billy lay still. Then he decided he better eat and drink if he was to be in trim to combat the boys. After he had eaten all he cared to and had a drink of good cold water, he felt so much better he said to himself: “I am a chump to give up like this! While there is life there is hope. I’ll just look round this room and see if I can’t find some window open or a rickety door I can butt down.”

He walked around and around the cellar but found the windows were too high from the floor to jump through and the doors too heavy to butt down. But as he inspected the door he saw that it had an old-fashioned round knob for a handle.

“I have an idea,” he said to himself. “If I wiggle that knob, it may turn the latch and I can open the door.” And in a second Billy had that knob in his mouth and was twisting and twisting it in every direction to try and make the latch slip back. It would go half way, then when he could not turn his head any further, it would slip back. At last Billy grew angry, he grabbed the knob between his teeth and gave it a quick turn and lo and behold! the door flew open.

Well, it did not take Billy long to get out of that room and run down a long, dark hall until he came to a pair of steps that led up, he did not know where, but he expected into a hall that would eventually lead to some outside door. Anyway, he took the chance and mounted them. When he arrived at the top he heard someone coming and seeing a door standing ajar, he quickly pushed it open and stepped inside.

It was pitch dark in this room and the air felt damp and sultry. Billy stood perfectly still until the sound of footsteps died away. By this time his eyes had become accustomed to the darkness and he could distinguish small, long narrow windows five or six feet from the floor.

“Funny place for windows! And a queer room, I must say, with this heavy, damp air in it. It is so dark I’ll walk cautiously over to one of those windows, stand on my hind feet and find what I can see through them.”

Billy took two steps and found himself falling into inky blackness. Then he went kersplash! into deep water. He had fallen into a swimming tank. As this building was given over to Turkish bathrooms, barber shops and so on, Billy had fallen into the swimming tank, that was all. In a minute or two he realized where he was and he began swimming around to find some place to get out of the water. At last at one end he found a long board running down into the water to the floor of the tank, put there for the little boys who went swimming to climb out. So up this board he went. Then he walked around the platform that surrounded the tank until he came to the door. Once there, he stood still and listened to find if he could hear anyone coming, but all was still. He poked his head out the door and feeling a draft, he stepped out into the hall and ran along searching the cause of the draft, which led him to an outside door as he had supposed it would. It opened into a long back yard which ended on an alley. And just as he left the building, he heard the voices of the five boys as they came in the front door after him. He had made his escape none too soon. And as he leaped the back yard fence into the alley, who should he nearly land on but Stubby.

“Well, this is luck! But come on, Stub, don’t stop to ask any questions now for there are five boys on my trail this minute!” With a whirl of their tails, the two Chums disappeared down the alley.

When they stopped running, Billy said to Stubby: “Thank you for not laughing at my appearance. You are a true friend, Stub.”

“But why should I laugh at your appearance? You look just the same to me.”

“Look just the same? Come, Stub, that is going too far with friendship! How can you say I look just the same with my beard and eyebrows dyed black?”

“Beard and eyebrows dyed black! Are you crazy, Billy, or what is the matter with you? Your beard is no blacker than it ever was. You must be blind to think so.”

Billy now cast his eyes down at his long beard and, sure enough, it was white as snow, just as it always had been.

“Could I have dreamed it all?” thought Billy. “No, for I am as wet as a rat from my swim in the tank.” Then the thought came to him: “The water must have washed off the dye. But who ever heard of dye coming off in one washing of cold water?”

Billy never had, but what had been put on Billy was not a regular dye, but only some coloring matter that actors and actresses use when they wish to change from blond to brunette. It is a perfectly harmless preparation and washes off easily.

When Billy realized he was looking his old self, he began to caper around and baa with joy until Stubby thought he must have taken leave of his senses. But when he stopped skipping around and told Stubby how the barber had fixed him up, Stubby said he would have given up his luncheon to have seen him, especially when Nannie and Button had their first glimpse of him.

CHAPTER V
BILLY HAS ANOTHER EXCITING EXPERIENCE

BILLY and Stubby continued down the alley together until they came to a corner drug store. Here they separated, Stubby going down the side street and Billy going inside to get some gumdrops he saw displayed in the window.

Before going in, he looked through the window to be sure there was no one in sight, then he cautiously sneaked in the open door. By a coil of cigar smoke he saw rising from behind a partition where he knew the prescription desk was, he thought the proprietor must be putting up some medicine. As for the man who belonged at the soda fountain, he could see him talking to two young ladies in an auto outside to whom he had just served chocolate sodas.

“My! That foamy chocolate soda looks good and makes me thirsty! I think before I eat my gumdrops I’ll just step behind the soda fountain and see if he has left any setting round.”

Of course he had not, but what Billy saw that looked quite as good to him were several small boxes of little pink and yellow cakes standing up before some bottles on a shelf.

“Me for the cakes before I get my drink!” And Billy slipped his tongue around one of the pink cakes and before he knew it, it had slipped down his throat, leaving a nasty taste in his mouth and causing a thick foam to fill his mouth and throat.

“Horror of horrors! I have swallowed a cake of soap instead of one made of flour. Whatever shall I do to get the taste out of my mouth?”

Just then he spied a tub of water in which they washed the soda water glasses, and he hurried to it and began taking long gulps. But alas! the more he drank, the more foam came up into his mouth until he was nearly strangled and he felt quite ill.

“Oh! Oh! I must get outdoors immediately, I feel so sick.” And instead of running around the counter, he tried to jump over it, thinking it would be the shorter way. Alas, alack! His horns hit the spigot that turns the fizz into the soda water glasses and in a second Billy was blinded by the flying, sizzling fluid. It went in his ears, eyes, nose and mouth and for a minute or two he did not know which way to turn. In his blindness he turned the wrong way and instead of going toward the door, he landed behind the counter again, upsetting the ice-cream freezer and sending the ice and salt over the floor and knocking the lid off the can in which the ice-cream was packed.

At this critical moment the man came out from behind the partition to see what the racket was and the clerk who had served the sodas to the ladies came in also. As he went behind the counter he was met by a big billy goat foaming at the mouth. Of course he thought him a mad goat and he began to cry: “Mad goat! Mad goat! Look out, everybody!” and he ran out the door calling this as loudly as he could.

The ladies in the machine hearing the cry and seeing the man running from the store started the machine, but not before the man crying “Mad goat! Mad goat!” had had time to jump on their running board and tell them to “Drive on, drive on!”

Just as they started, Billy came running out of the drug store foaming at the mouth and close behind him the proprietor of the store, a broom held high over his head to chase Billy. But just as he reached the front door he stepped on a piece of ice from the ice-cream freezer and both feet slipped out from under him. He shot out the door and down the steps, landing beside Billy at the edge of the sidewalk, where poor Billy was coughing up great puffs of foam. At last up came what was left of the cake of soap and Billy soon felt relieved.

The proprietor of the store, on seeing this, knew that Billy was not mad but only sick and this provoked him so that he raised his broom to hit Billy. Now Billy was in no mood to be beaten, so when the broom came down on his back he turned to chase the man, who ran back into the store with Billy after him.

Back of the counter ran the man and when he rounded the corner he slipped again on the ice-cream that was now running out of the freezer. He slid along on the end of his backbone about five feet when he came up against the tub of water, upsetting it all over him, while Billy, who had jumped up on the counter, stood watching him.

“You squint-eyed, pig-tailed, crooked-legged old goat! I’ll break every bone in your body if I ever catch you, for causing all this mess!”

But while he was getting up Billy jumped from the counter and was about to run out the door when whom should he run into but a squad of policemen who had come in the ambulance to capture the mad goat the soda fountain man had reported was running wild.

Billy never faltered a minute. He and all policemen were sworn enemies, so before they knew what had happened to them, he had butted each one over on the grass or into the gutter and was off down the street. And when Billy turned to see if they were following, he saw them all piling into the ambulance preparatory to starting for him. But Billy had too much of a start for them to overtake him. He was just thinking of leaving the town to go to meet Nannie when he heard a terrible racket down an alley he was about to cross. Just before he reached it out ran Stubby with a tin can full of stones tied to his tail, chased by five or six hoodlums each with a stick in his hand.

On seeing them Billy said: “So that is your game, is it? I’ll teach you not to tie a tin can on a dog’s tail and then chase him and beat him when he has done nothing to you. Well, I’ll show you how it feels to be hurt and, what is more, I will give you full measure, so you and the rest of your gang will never tie another can to a dog’s tail again.”

Then he baaed to Stubby: “I’ll take care of this gang. You go chew the rope off your tail and I will be back and help you the minute I have butted every one of those boys into the middle of next week.”

The largest and foremost of the boys was about to strike Billy when, my, Oh my! what was the matter with his back? It hurt him so he felt it must be broken and here he was flying skyward as fast as he could go! Had he been blown up by a bomb or was a mad bull trying to kick him over the moon? Surely a goat could not butt one like that.

And while he was thinking this, Billy was chasing the other boys down the alley as all had taken to their heels when they saw their leader going skyward after Billy butted him. One boy jumped over the fence into a yard and climbed a tree; another climbed up on the roof of a shed; a third jumped into a milk wagon that was standing in the alley, while a fourth ran through a yard and into a kitchen where he saw the door open. This one Billy followed straight into the kitchen and when the boy saw Billy still pursuing him, he ran upstairs and jumped in bed and pulled the covers over his head.

After butting the fat cook down the cellar stairs when she tried to stop him, Billy followed the boy upstairs and leaped on the bed, butting and kicking him until he cried for mercy. After a few minutes of this, thinking the boy had been punished enough, Billy jumped out the open window on to a low shed roof and from there to the ground. Then he hurried into the alley again to hunt up the other boys, for he had made up his mind he would punish them all. The next boy he saw was the one that had tried to get away from him by jumping into the milk wagon. All Billy had to do was to walk up to the horse and give him a slight hook in the stomach which startled him so he ran away. The boy was tossed around among the rattling milk cans like a pea in a pod, hurting his toes and giving him a bloody nose besides.

The next boy Billy came to was the boy in the tree. He tried to climb the tree but of course could not. So then he butted the tree until it shook so it knocked the boy out. When he tried to jump up and run away, Billy was after him and he chased him until he was within a few feet of his home. Billy spied a big hogshead of rainwater and into this he butted the boy and left him crying for help.

Now the only boy left was the one on the shed roof who had sat there and laughed as he watched Billy chasing the other boys. He had laughed until his sides ached and called to Billy to “give it to them, you old clummergudgen!”

“Oh! You can laugh at your chums’ misery, can you, you cowardly sneak,” baaed Billy, “because you think you are safe? Now let us see which side of your mouth you will laugh on when you find I too can climb up on a shed roof.”

Billy was right. This boy was the worst sneak and coward of the gang, so when he saw Billy coming up on the shed roof after him, his hair fairly stood on end and he yelled for help as if wild Indians were after him. But no one heard. The alley was deserted at this time of day. Billy chased him around and around the roof for some time, giving him little butts just to show him what a big butt would be like. Then when he got to the place on the roof where he wanted him, Billy gave him a mighty butt that sent the boy fifty feet off the roof out in a straight line over the cowyard fence where he dropped on a pile of manure. And here Billy left him and went to find Stubby.

When he reached the place where he had left Stubby, he found he was in good hands. A kind-faced lady with a big heart for hurt animals had picked Stubby up in her arms and was carrying him home where she could cut the string around his tail and bathe the wound in warm water and witch hazel. The boys had tied the string on so tightly that she could not undo the knot, so was taking him home where she could get a pair of scissors and cut it off.

Billy followed them closely and waited until Stubby came out of her house with his tail wrapped up with a witch hazel bandage, and as he stood eating from a plate of food she had given him, Billy told him what he had done to his four boy tormentors.

“Thank you so much, Billy! But how I should have loved to have seen you butting them right and left and skyward! My, that is a nice lady who fixed my tail! I like her so much, I’d like to stay with her always if it were not for our trip west. And it seems mean to run away from her without saying good-by after she has been so good to me. But the best of friends must part some time. I am going to promise myself to come back and see her when we return from our trip. As soon as I have finished eating this delicious luncheon she has given me I will be ready to go with you to where Nannie is waiting for us.”

CHAPTER VI
BILLY FINDS NANNIE IN BAD HANDS

BUT when they reached the trysting-place, there was no Nannie. After waiting an hour, they decided something must have happened to her, as it was long past the time she should have been there. So they put their heads together and formed plans as to how to search for her.

Billy was to go to the right to a farmhouse whose chimneys he saw sticking up above the treetops to the right of the road. Stubby was to go round a big turn he saw to the left and Button was to stay there at the trysting-place in case Nannie came while they were away.

“I feel quite sure someone has caught her and tied her up somewhere,” said Billy.

“So do I,” replied Stubby. “But it won’t take us long to rescue her when we once find her.”

In the wiggle of a lamb’s tail Billy disappeared from sight down a ravine and Stubby under some bushes on the other side of the road. When they had gone Button climbed up into a tree and fell asleep.

It seemed to him he had been napping but a short time when he heard Billy and Nannie talking under the tree. Billy had gone straight to the stable yard of the farmhouse whose chimneys he had seen above the treetops and as he approached, he heard a goat moan as if in pain. He stopped short to listen. Could that be Nannie’s voice? If so, and someone was hurting her, it would not be well for them. Again the hurt cry reached his ears. Yes, surely that was Nannie’s voice! He redoubled his speed and arrived at the fence that enclosed the farmyard just as three boys were trying to hitch Nannie to a little milk wagon that had three cans of milk in it. When they buckled on the harness, they buckled in a piece of her flesh, but what cared they? This hurt so it made her moan. Then they struck her over the head for not standing still, and dear knows what else they would have done to her if Billy had not jumped over the fence with one bound and come to her rescue. One boy he butted into a watering trough and another over the garden fence where he landed in an asparagus bed. The last boy he butted straight through the open barn door, knocking over the hired man who was coming out with a pail of milk in his hand, upsetting it and spilling it all over the barn floor.

Then he turned to Nannie and said: “Now run for your life and jump the fence. When the wagon hits the fence it will break the traces and you will be free.”

Being a good jumper, especially when frightened, Nannie did exactly as Billy told her to do. And as the hired man and the boys were picking themselves up, they heard a crash. Looking in the direction from which the noise came, they saw Nannie and Billy jumping the four-rail fence as a steeplechase horse takes a fence. The traces broke and the little wagon, which had been pulled up on its hind wheels, toppled over and spilled out all the milk cans and the milk, while Nannie and Billy landed safely on the other side and ran for dear life to where Billy had left Button. Every once in a while Nannie would give a frightened look over her shoulder to see if the boys were following her, but she need have had no fear for the boys were too bruised to chance another butting.

The hired man was so angry that he called their bulldog and sent him after the goats. Billy heard him coming and told Nannie to run to Button and he would wait for the dog to overtake him, then he would give him the surprise of his life. This dog was used to frightening anything he ran after. Little did he know Billy or he would have tucked his tail between his legs and turned and ran home. Billy stood perfectly still and pretended he was eating grass. On came the dog, yelping and barking as if he were going to eat Billy alive. And he was a ferocious looking dog for he was a bulldog with undershot jaw. A few feet from Billy was a deep pond with steep sides so Billy thought, “I’ll just butt him into that pond and he will have a good time getting out for the sides will give way and crumble in the minute he touches them.”

“Bow-wow-wow!” barked the dog, showing his teeth as he jumped at Billy from a high bunch of long grass. Pang! went something flying through the air followed by a yowl of pain, and the dog landed in the middle of the pond and went straight down to the bottom.

When the hired man, leaning on the fence to watch his dog chew up Billy, saw this, he roared with rage, picked up a pitchfork which was handy and started for Billy. But when he reached the pond he found he had to give all his attention to his dog, else he would drown as the bank crumbled and gave way, carrying him back into the water every time he tried to climb out.

Billy ran on and soon the friends were all together for the man and his dog did not follow them. The Chums started on down the road that led away from the town and toward Chicago, for which place they were bound. They traveled straight down this road until midnight. Then they went into a woods beside the road to sleep and rest until morning, but Nannie scarcely closed her eyes, for she had become so frightened she could not sleep.

“My dear little wife,” said Billy, “don’t be afraid! I won’t allow anything to hurt you. Come over here and sleep close to me so I can protect you.”

So at last Nannie fell asleep, but it was almost worse than being awake for she had terrible dreams of being chased by bulldogs that bit pieces right out of her side as she tried to run away from them.

In the morning she felt as tired as if she had not slept at all, and the long journey ahead of her made her feel ill at the very thoughts of it, with its hardships and adventures. She thought of it all the morning and at noon she said to Billy: “My dear, I hope you won’t be disappointed, but I have made up my mind that it will be better for all concerned if I return home and let you and Stubby and Button continue your trip without me.”

“Why, Nannie! What do you mean? Are you going to desert us at the very beginning of our journey?” asked Stubby.

“Yes, Stubby. I feel I am getting too old to enjoy leaving my peaceful, quiet home, my children and grandchildren, to go roaming all over the continent just for the excitement and adventure. It may be all right for you unmarried ones, but for a grandmother, NO! I believe my place is at home and I am going to start back to-night before we are so far away I can’t find my way.”

All this time Billy had kept still and was watching Nannie to see how much of this she meant, and he was surprised to find that every word of it was in earnest. Then the thought flashed through his mind: “Perhaps she is right. She always has been a home-loving body and very timid, and I believe with her that this trip would be too much for her. I will go back with her to within sight of the farm so I shall know she reaches there safely. Then I shall come back and join Stubby and Button and we can continue our journey.”

Nannie noticed Billy was very quiet and she was afraid to look at him for fear he would be angry at her for backing out. So she felt greatly relieved when she did look at him to find he was smiling at her and nodding his head for her to go.

“You certainly are a darling, Billy, to let me have my own way in everything, but you need not escort me back home. I can find the way, and if I can’t, I can call on the crows and blackbirds to show me the way.”

“No, my dear; I shall feel better if I see you home—at least the other side of the village where the boy captured you. If we travel fast, I can join Stubby and Button here by day after tomorrow. And what is two days lost when one is not in a hurry and going away for a year?”

So they rested all that afternoon and just before dark Billy and Nannie started back to the old farm. They traveled rapidly until they came to a high hill that looked down on the old farm and the rolling country around it with its placid lake and wooded slopes on one side and the equally pretty country through which they had just passed on the other.

“Billy,” said Nannie, “you need not come any farther with me. I can go on alone from here in perfect safety.”

“Oh, I might as well go all the way with you.”

“No, you need not, for it would only make you have to say good-by to everybody again, a thing you hate to do.”

“Very well, if you say so and if you feel all right about my leaving you here, I will. But I do so wish you were going with us! Every mile I have been traveling in bringing you back has made me feel more lonesome as it will be many months and perhaps a year before I see you again, and at our time of life we haven’t as many years to be together as we once had, you must remember.”

“Oh, Billy, don’t talk that way or I shall turn right around and go back with you no matter how afraid I am of the unknown dangers I will have to pass through.”

“No, no, dear! I would not have you go for worlds, if you were going to be afraid all the time. Now you start ahead and I will stand here and watch you out of sight.”

“No, indeed, that is what I am going to do. I am going to wait here until you disappear over that farther hilltop.”

“Oh, very well, if you wish it.”

And with many, many rubbings of noses and sides in lieu of kisses, the two old lovers parted. Billy ran as fast as he could down the hill and Nannie strained her eyes to see him come out of the grove of trees at the bottom and begin to climb the hill. She could easily locate him by the white spot he made on the green landscape.

But what was the matter with her? Every time he disappeared her heart fluttered so she felt she would suffocate and the tears sprang to her eyes in such numbers that for a minute or two she could not see him when he did emerge from the bushes and trees that had hid him. And all too quickly he was approaching the top of that terrible hill where, when he once stepped over the top, she would not see him for—what had he said?—weeks, months and perhaps a year!

No, it must not, could not be! She knew it now by the flutter of her heart that fear, children or grandchildren could not keep her from following her own darling lover-husband. And with a long jump she was down the side of the hill, baaing for Billy to wait for her.

Poor timid, loving Nannie! Her love had cast out fear as it always does in life if we love enough. Nannie ran so fast that she did not look where she was going and she had many falls and turned many somersaults before she reached the top of the hill over which Billy had disappeared. And when she at last stood on the brow of the hill she expected to see him miles ahead of her. But what was her joy on reaching the crest to see him quietly drinking out of a little stream at the bottom.

“He has his back to me, so I will just creep up and surprise him,” she said to herself with joy in her heart that she had found him so soon, “and never, no, never will I leave him again of my own accord.”

After drinking all he cared to, Billy waded out into the middle of the stream where the water was deep, to let it wash over his back to clean his long hair. He was so busy with his bath that the first he knew of her presence was when he saw a shadow in the water beside him.

Can you appreciate his surprise when he looked up and saw his little Nannie whom he had thought so far away standing beside him?

“Why, Nannie, my darling, how you surprised me! When I saw your shadow I thought you were some animal that had waded into the stream for a drink. Whatever brought you back? Oh, I don’t care what it was, so you are here, for I was so lonesome without you that I was about to turn back and coax you to come with us or stay behind myself.”

“Were you really, Billy? How nice! Now I know you will feel all right when I tell you I have decided to go with you and never be separated from you again if I can help it.”

“Have you really decided to do that, Nannie, and not just come to tell me something you forgot to say to me?”

“Indeed I never was more in earnest in my life! My fears are all gone, or rather they are as nothing to the lonesomeness I felt when I saw you going from me and I realized how long it might be before I saw you again.”

HE SUCCEEDED IN LIFTING THE BRIDE INTO A CROTCH
OF THE TREE, BUT BEFORE HE COULD CLIMB UP
THE BULL WAS UPON HIM.
(Page [94])

“Hurrah! Hurrah for you, you sweet little wife of mine!” and Billy began to prance around in the water so he nearly drowned her.

“My, but this water feels good and cool to me after my long hot run to catch up with you,” said Nannie.

“Won’t Stubby and Button be surprised when they see you come trotting back with me?”

“Yes, and they will think I am the biggest goose that ever lived.”

“But a fine one at that, for both Stub and Button are very fond of you.”

After Billy and Nannie left them, Button said to Stubby: “Well, what shall we do with ourselves while waiting for Billy’s return?”

“I don’t know,” said Stubby, “but when I went over to that big barn you see the other side of the road, looking for Nannie, I met the cutest, curliest Saint Bernard puppy you ever saw. I guess I will go back and play with it awhile. And by the way, Button, I saw a spotted cat over there too, so you better come along with me and probably we can manage to pass away the time happily until Billy’s return and get a good square meal or two besides.”

When they came within a short distance of the big barn they saw the haymow door was open and on the ledge basking in the sun lay the spotted cat Stubby had seen when he was there before. She seemed to be eating something nice and juicy. “It must be a mouse,” thought Button. When he got right under the door, he meowed: “Good-morning, Mrs. Spot!”

This so surprised the cat that she let fall from her mouth what she was eating and it fell at Button’s feet and he discovered immediately that it was the head of a squab.

“Excuse me,” meowed Button, “I did not mean to startle you. I thought you had seen me coming. Wait a minute and I will bring up to you this delicious morsel you have just dropped.”

Not to be outdone in politeness, the spotted cat meowed back:

“Oh, no! Don’t trouble yourself to bring it back. I have plenty more and if you would care to have some and will come up here, I can give you all you can eat.”

“I am sure that sounds most alluring. I’ll be right up if you will tell me how to get there.”

“Wait a minute and I will come down and show you the way.” And before Button expected her, the spotted cat crawled out of a hole from under the barn. Just then the cat saw Stubby for the first time and not knowing he was with Button, he spit and flew at him in a rage and would have scratched his eyes out before Stubby could have defended himself had not Button meowed:

“Don’t touch him. He is my friend and won’t hurt you. He only came over to visit the little puppy while I talked to you.”

The spotted cat apologized most profusely and invited Stubby to join them at their feast of squab up in the hayloft. But when Stubby tried to squeeze through the hole under the barn he could not, so he was forced to stay outside with thoughts of having a whole squab dropped down to him from the loft.

“But how comes it that you have so many squabs to eat at one time?” asked Button.

“It happened in this way. As you know, there is going to be a wedding here this afternoon and these squabs were raised to serve at the wedding feast. But the boxes their nests were made in, up in the pigeon loft just over our heads, broke loose and spilled out all the young squabs and no one knows it but me and the mother pigeons. Haven’t you observed how excited the old pigeons are and how they keep flying in and out of the loft looking for their babies? My, but there will be a terrible commotion at the house when they discover that the squabs are gone. So come ahead and follow me. We must hurry and eat our fill before the people at the house discover their loss.”

CHAPTER VII
WILD EXCITEMENT IN THE BARNYARD

THE spotted cat led Button under the floor of the barn until he came to a round hole in the floor that led to the main barn where the grain bins were. Through this hole they squeezed themselves and from there crossed the barn floor to a ladder that led up into the haymow.

Once in the hayloft they hurried over to the door that was directly under the window where the pigeons went in and out to their nests, but there on the hay, wriggling and crying, were the baby squabs who opened their mouths so wide they nearly fell over backwards when they heard the spotted cat and Button approaching. They thought every sound was their mothers coming to feed them.

“Now help yourself, Mr. Button. Pick out the plumpest, and fall to. But before we begin we better drag to the door a couple of squabs and drop them down to your friend.”

Though their intentions were good, only trouble came from it, for just as the squabs fell from the open door, the farmer happened to be passing and they hit him on the head. This surprised him greatly and he immediately came running up into the hayloft to see what had happened to his squabs.

And there he found that a whole row of boxes which held the nests had fallen down from the upper window into the hay and spilled out nearly all of his nice fat squabs that were to be one of the delicacies at the wedding feast. This was bad enough, but it infuriated him to find a big stray cat and his own cat eating them up as fast as they could and he grabbed up a pitchfork that was sticking up in the hay and ran toward them.

Button saw by the angry gleam in his eye that he would as soon run the pitchfork into them as not, so he ran for the door, preferring to take the risk of having his neck broken by the fall to being run through with the pitchfork.

The loft was high—at least fifteen or eighteen feet from the ground—but Button took the leap without a moment’s hesitation, not even casting his eyes down to see where he was going to land, for he had felt the prongs of the fork prick his tail as he left.

Imagine his surprise on landing to find himself sitting on the broad back of a big Durham bull! Also imagine the surprise of the bull at having a pincushion land on his back filled with pins that stuck into him when he was doing nothing but standing quietly in the yard!

Button had scarcely touched his back when the bull bounded forward. Of course this made Button stick his claws deeper into the hide of the bull to keep from falling off, and of course this hurt the bull and made him try to shake off whatever was on his back. He started around the yard on a run, jumping up and down and shaking himself, but no matter what he did the sharp prickling thing on his back stuck on.

Just then he spied a little dog coming around the corner of the barn. He hated dogs at any time and now being hurt and cross and looking for some person or animal to vent his spite on, he started for the dog who was no other than Stubby.

Seeing Button on the bull’s back and the bull running around like mad, Stubby barked and ran up to the bull to try to drive him into a corner of the barnyard and keep him there just long enough for Button to loosen his claws which had become embedded in the bull’s hide by this time, and give him a chance to jump off.

But Stubby missed his calculations. He thought the bull was too fat to run fast, so he ran straight toward him, barking as he went. But alas! with a lunge forward the bull’s horns slipped under Stubby and tossed him up in the air so high that he thought he must surely be going on up over the moon. Then all of a sudden he started to come down and from the speed he knew when he hit the ground that the breath would be knocked out of him so hard that it would kill him. Just when he had made up his mind that he had to die, he hit something soft and opening his eyes to see what it was, he found he had fallen in the middle of a load of hay.

Now when the bull saw Stubby up in the hay, he tried to get to him and went bellowing round and round the hay wagon, butting his head into the hay and trying to scratch Button off by rubbing his sides against the load. But the first time he did this, with a mighty pull Button loosened his claws and with a spring he found himself safely on top of the load beside Stubby.

Just at this critical moment Billy and Nannie came trotting into the barnyard and the bull ran straight for them with head lowered ready to toss them over the barn. But this time he had met something that could hook and butt quite as hard and much faster than himself. And when he got to the place where he had seen two goats standing, he found no goats in front of him, but one on either side of him sticking their long horns into him. With a bellow of rage he ran forward and Billy and Nannie chased him until they came to a little shed whose door was open. Into this they dodged and let the bull go raving and bellowing to his heart’s content.

And while they describe their sensations to each other, I will tell you what became of Spot, for that was the name of the black and white spotted cat. When her master went after Button with the pitchfork, she ran up the side of the barn and hid on one of the rafters away up high where her master could not possibly reach her. And there she stayed until her master left the loft. When he did so there was murder in his eye, for he had taken one look out the loft door just in time to see Button riding on the back of his pet Durham bull, and it was at that moment the bull tossed Stubby up on the load of hay.

“I have them now!” he cried. “I’ll run into the house and get my gun and shoot both of them. I won’t have any stray dog and cat coming round here and eating up my squabs and sticking their claws into my prize bull’s back!”

The minute Spot’s master left the barn, she climbed down from the rafters and going to the door meowed to Button and Stubby who were still on the load of hay only a short distance from the door. She told them to jump off the load and hide somewhere as her master had gone to the house for his gun and he intended to shoot them on sight. “But don’t go away. Hide until dark and then come back and we will feast on what is left from the wedding supper.”

“All right,” they meowed and barked, and jumping from the opposite side of the load of hay from which the bull was still pawing the earth and bellowing with rage, they ran to an empty corn crib at the further side of the barnyard. They crawled up through a hole in the floor of the crib and found a place of shelter as no one would ever think of looking for them there. Besides being safe, it was situated in a very advantageous place, for from its latticed sides they could see the farmhouse between the end of the barn they had just left and the cluster of sheds and outhouses. Now they could see everything that went on, both in the barnyard and at the house. They could see the bridegroom, the minister, and all the guests arrive, to say nothing of the bridal procession they could watch as it left the house on its way to the church whose tall, sharp steeple they could see piercing the clear, blue sky.

“Here Spot’s master comes now, running around the barn with his shotgun in his hand and the Saint Bernard pup at his heels.”