Transcriber's Notes:
1. Page scan source: http://books.google.com/books?id=fuUBAAAAQAAJ
2. The diphthong oe is represented by œ.
3. Errata on pp. 109, 154, and 183 have been corrected.

WITHERED LEAVES.

A Novel,

BY

Rudolf von Gottschall.

FROM THE GERMAN,

By BERTHA NESS.

Translator of Werner's "Riven Bonds" and "Sacred Vows."

THREE VOLUMES.

AUTHORISED TRANSLATION.

VOL. II.

London:
REMINGTON AND CO.,
5, Arundel Street, Stand, W.C.

1879.

[All Rights Reserved.]

CONTENTS OF VOLUME II.

WITHERED LEAVES.

VOL. II.--ERRATA.

Page 109, line 20, for [Nirwana] read Nirvana.

" 154, " 12, for [Niriwana] read Nirvana.

" 183, " 1, for [Arioste] read Ariosto.

WITHERED LEAVES.

CHAPTER I.

[THE FIRST MEETING.]

"I had always been a dreamer, and an enthusiast," began Blanden, "and even when at school I cherished bold designs; I would emigrate to Madagascar, an island to which I had taken a peculiar fancy, and did not deem it impossible there to win a crown for myself.

"I always remained aloof from the noisy amusements of my companions. I loved solitude; a walk in the company of others was disagreeable to me; all their conversations and songs seemed like desecration of nature, which only reveals its beauty, its secrets to silent appreciation. But when I wandered alone through meadows, even if only the cornfields of my paternal estates, or lost myself in the woods--above me the rustling oaks, beside me the roaring sea--a sensation often overcame me, of which I was unable to give any account, which would not allow itself to be put into words, without wiping away its mysterious magic as if it were the coloured down of a butterfly's wings. I was persuaded that this feeling was shared and understood by none; it was a kind of religion of nature, but so fervent, that in it I believed to lose my identity, that I felt as if my soul went forth into the vast universe, as if the lisping breeze which stirred the branches and tops of the trees were the spirit of the Divinity, the same spirit which also animated the respirations of my bosom, and the feelings of my heart. The evening crimson, when its glow faded away behind the summits, could fill me with infinite emotion; a hot day which unfettered the spicy breeze in field and forest, and which with darkening fragrance hovered over the blue distance, could transport me into an ecstacy, as though the fire of external nature glowed within my own veins.

"I studied the works of poets; I found nothing that would entirely have expressed my sensations, and even in ancient religious writings and the works of a later period, I found the indication of this feeling rather than itself in its peculiarity.

"I might gather it from ambiguous symbols, but the language of my heart it was not.

"I visited the university, nevertheless I remained faithful to my solitary, dreamy tendency. I was never to be seen at the drinking parties of our duelling clubs, although I attended their fencing school; I learned to wield the blade bravely, and if any one disturbed or ridiculed me, I demanded satisfaction of him. Dry knowledge imprinted itself on my memory, yet it remained a stranger to my own mental life. The philosophy of the lecture-room gave me no reply to those questions of my soul; I followed their mathematical problems with interest, but they did not touch that which laid hold of my inmost feelings. The lecturer at that time was a highly esteemed master of the art of thinking, yet he confined himself to the tangible, the palpable, and my mind was devoted to the unfathomable.

"Would the world's secret let itself be put into set forms? Would it not much rather disclose itself to inexpressible feelings? A nameless longing took possession of me, to fathom the secret connection between the world's spirit and my own, which at those moments of inspired views had illumined my soul as with flashes of lightning, only to take refuge again in the unattainable.

"It was the same supreme feeling that was peculiar to religious fervour, and yet it lay so far removed from the ordinary circle of conceptions in which believers moved. The daring idea of founding a new religion, or at least of expounding in a new manner that which for thousands of years had been the tradition of faith, often rose within my soul; then--I started at this daring; was it not a lesser venture to emigrate to Madagascar, than to discover a new world of religion?

"The ecstacies which Nature granted me, even as she appeared in the Baltic country mostly void of charms, remained the same; I felt inwardly related to her. On the other hand, Nature stood before me in lofty estrangement in another form in woman. While stormy youth around me had long since in daily pleasures denuded of its leaves that which appeared to me the sacred crowning work of creation, I still experienced a dread of and longing for it, as though for me it were something unapproachable. I felt that for me one half of the world lay in obscurity; like that hemisphere from which the sun is averted, it lay as if bedded in the lap of sacred night, and an ambrosial magical light seemed to flow from it. I shuddered, as through me passed a nervous dread of that moment in which this dark world should move with me into the bright sunshine of knowledge.

"Meanwhile I had terminated my studies. I had been industrious; dry law released me from my internal struggles, from all disturbing trains of thought. Even the most subtle distinctions of the Roman jurists in the most difficult law questions, were enigmas which could be solved, and my mind felt especial satisfaction when it had been successful in such a solution. How totally different were those non-transparent secrets in which neither thought nor feeling were ever entirely consumed.

"I passed my legal examination, and commenced my first employment in the service of the State. With an adventure which had befallen me as student a fatal complication in my life now became connected.

"One evening I had been walking along the Pregel. The light of the declining sun swept the hollow-eyed warehouses, which were crowded together in large quarters of the town, and hovered, dream-like, behind the sails and masts of the ships which lay at anchor in that part of the river where greater depth of water allowed them to do so. Farther up, lay the heavily-freighted 'Wittinen,' and rafts which had come up from Masuren, with their wooden huts. All were merry upon those bast-covers, for these 'Dschimken,' who at home lived in mud hovels, had been long enough sailing past pasturage and meadows on the river bank to rejoice in their life here, at the end of their journey.

"Yonder, one of them in a sheepskin, with a straw hat upon his head, is playing upon a fiddle with two strings; the light-hearted little people danced upon the tree trunks bound together--dancers and spectators clapped their hands; others crouched around a large kettle, out of which they helped themselves with wooden spoons.

"Like all pleasures of the people, this merry scene, which might amuse others, touched me. Not far from it, a picture of busy activity attracted me; I saw how eagerly carpenters were at work upon the frame of a ship that seemed to me to be of a peculiar form. Just as I came near, they were about to cease their labours, laid their axes aside, and went towards a man whose singular appearance, when I looked more narrowly at him, made a strange impression upon me.

"He reminded me of the hermits of old; a long beard flowed down almost to his girdle, thick black hair fell far down upon his shoulders, a broad-brimmed hat covered his head. As he now turned sideways, sharply-cut features showed themselves in the evening light; his tall form was clad in Oriental fashion, in a garment that hung down to his feet.

"Who was that remarkable man, who seemed to step out of the 'thousand and one nights' into the sober life of the old royal Prussian town?

"He stood amidst a group that plainly belonged to the upper classes. Two young women, apparently very graceful, also stood beside him. The carpenters went towards him, and pressed his hand; the women had a shake of the hand and a sweet smile for each. The workmen assembled themselves behind the distinguished group, and soon the whole procession set itself in motion.

"A carpenter, whom other business called away, had separated himself from his companions, and went past me.

"'What kind of a ship is that which you are building over there?' asked I of him.

"'It is the "Swan."'

"'And who christened it thus, and who has ordered it to be built?'

"'The Paraclete.'

"That sounded most mysterious.

"'Who is the Paraclete?'

"'The man yonder, with the long, dark hair; they call him so; he is a minister, but no ordained one.'

"'But why does he build ships?'

"'It is to be a wonderful ship; he has often preached to us about it; a kind of Noah's ark. We must have firm faith when we build it; then it will be able to sail against wind and waves. And we believe, too, that with each stroke of the axe we are doing a work that is pleasing to the Lord.'

"'Is he a rich ship-owner?'

"'He himself does not own a farthing, but pious people give him as much as he requires.'

"'Whither does the procession go?'

"'Yonder to the public-house. I shall soon follow, when I have seen to my wife and child at home. He preaches over there, and it is wonderful to hear everything that he says. You can go too, because he preaches to all the world, and no one is excluded.'

"I followed the workman's invitation, and also went to the house inside which the procession had disappeared. As it moved farther on, it had increased like a caravan. Porters and sailors had joined it. They filled a large room, evidently a dancing saloon. Above, on the gallery, where at other times the musicians would be, the 'Paraclete' had taken up his position; beside him sat his male and female companions.

"Who were the young women who went so dauntlessly into this district of the lowest inhabitants, whose rudeness is usually avoided by all of refined bringing up? Great must be their attachment to the prophet, and the might of their faith, that enabled them to bid defiance to the wild noise and to the odours of tobacco. Yet, in the latter, they seemed only to perceive clouds of incense, which ascended to do homage to the High Priest. Did they believe those times to be returned when prophets moved amongst the lowly people, who alone possessed appreciation of the seed that was scattered amongst them?

"I looked up at the chosen congregation that surrounded the preacher, and was wonderfully struck with the charming grace of one youthful face, which with its soft, gentle lines contrasted pleasantly with the Paraclete's sharp features. Was it a girl or a young married woman? The whole figure was full of girlish charm, yet a girl would hardly have ventured into such a district. A transfiguring breath of enthusiasm lay upon those noble features, large deep blue eyes gazed up at the preacher with such trust, such confidence; it was as if the faith of an entire devoted congregation were reflected in the glance of those eyes. I looked again and ever again in that direction; I followed all her movements with unwavering glances; she stood up, she walked to and fro, apparently eagerly occupied with arrangements to render the preacher's pulpit a more worthy one; she brought a cushion and placed it upon the balustrade, she brought milk and fruit, for the minister scorned any other nourishment--yes, she brought a footstool for his feet.

"This servile occupation which she devoted to the mysterious man displeased me, but all the movements of her slender form were full of such winning grace, and made an enrapturing impression upon me.

"I felt as if the divinity had been found for that altar which already for long I had erected to 'woman,' and the dense clouds of tobacco appeared to me to be the ambrosial firmament which hovers above a Madonna.

"The preacher rose, and silence suddenly reigned in the assembly hitherto so noisy.

"What he spoke was marvellous, but it attracted me; it was not the old story that has so often been promulgated from a pulpit lulling all to sleep, they were new doctrines, even although in the old garment. Was my youthful dream of founding a new religion called into life by this enthusiast?

"He did not speak like other men of views and convictions, nor like the teachers of the Divine Word, of a traditionary faith. Everything had been experienced inwardly by himself, he was a new mediator between God and man. He had discovered the origin of all being, the two original powers of creation, out of which all life flowed. The one was water: plants draw their nourishment out of moisture, and every young shoot is rich in this primordial power; but the other which gives form is light, is warmth; those are the two original beings, the female and the male which are necessarily and closely wedded.

"And with glowing fantasy the apostle described how the serpent of light pants for the water of darkness, how seven-armed with thousandfold arteries of rays it pours itself into the depths where the element, dark as night, waits to receive it. They were poetical visions in apocalyptic pictures; the people listened devoutly to the incomprehensible, which, however, led a succession of gay, misty pictures before their mental vision. The prophet himself spoke with tongues of fire, and with the dauntlessness of a man in whom Heaven had deposited the jewels of its revelations as in a sacred shrine. All the time he stroked his long beard, divided it, and put it together again, yet all was done with dignity and with self-complacency.

"When he sat down he refreshed himself with the milk which his graceful companion handed to him.

"Two or three times more he rose, when the spirit moved him, and immediately ceased the wild tumult, the buzz of voices at his feet.

"It might be about midnight when he retired with his companions. One of these was evidently a minister whom the ladies had joined. The young beauty passed close by me; was I mistaken, or did she smile pleasantly at me? And was this smile one of approval of my demeanour and appearance, or of pleasure that a young student also--for the Albertus on my cap showed that I attended the Albertina--should have joined the pious congregation that sat at the feet of the Heaven-sent preacher? Never to be forgotten was the gracious smile, the nobility of form and feature, the deep large eye.

"Like a dream, that beautiful woman glided past me, and years should elapse ere I saw her again.

"I was too shy, too modest to ask about her; I should have expected to destroy the dreamlike charm of that vision by any enquiries; yet whenever afterwards I read the works of the poets, when Shakespeare's, Goethe's, and Schiller's female figures stood before my mind, they invariably borrowed her features. With such deep-blue eyes, Ophelia scattered abroad her flowers, plucked to pieces, Juliet gazed upon her Romeo, Gretchen lay upon her knees before the mater dolorosa. Woman since then appeared more beautiful to me, but also loftier and more unapproachable.

"Meanwhile I made enquiries about the new 'Paraclete' and learned much of his life and doings; how he had wandered through Germany preaching the Gospel of light and water, had here found enthusiastic disciples, there was greeted with scorn, thrown down stairs, yes, had even been locked up in a mad house.

"I also learned, when on one occasion I returned to the town after the vacations, that the new Noah's ark had been released from the slip-way, but had stranded against the first pillar of the bridge and been capsized. The faith which could remove mountains was not able to bring that ark into the sea.

"There it lay broken, ruined, and the jeers of the children of this world exhausted themselves upon the evil which had befallen the sacred 'Swan.' All promises had been brought to shame!

"Just as sadly fared the prophet himself; he had so often announced that he could not die, because he had once already been dead and now lived the life of one who was regenerated; yet despite such announcement his eyes were closed soon after that mishap.

"It was an unimportant piece of news for all my friends, it went to my heart. I thought of the tears which that fair one who was bound to him with such touching devotion, might have shed at the news of his death--and tears rose to my eyes also."

CHAPTER II.

[THE NOVICE.]

"Two or three years might have passed since that evening; I was by that time one of those young officials, whose knowledge, learned in the lecture-room, had melted away by monotonous practice, when one day an old respected aunt invited me to tea.

"She had only recently moved into the town from her estate; I had seen little of her during my life, and had not the remotest idea of being her heir, although I was one of her nearest relatives; the roseate light in which nephews, eager to inherit, are wont to look upon such-like matrons, who shine with the radiance of golden promises, did not, therefore exist for me; I only saw in her a good woman, who had become pious in the evening of life, and who rushed about from church to church.

"When I entered I found several elderly ladies and gentlemen assembled round the tea urn. They were imbibing the Chinese beverage. Nevertheless, the conversation was but little cheerful--now and again a word, a sentence--they were the silent ones in the land.

"The ticking of an old clock upon the wall, the noise of the tea-urn were the only sounds which interrupted the quietude. I was overcome by that endless weariness which I often experienced when I drove through a waste part of Masuren on rutty roads, beneath a rainy-grey sky. Such weariness at last exercises a sensibly physical oppression; it acts painfully; at last one counts every movement of the pendulum, and time, in its boundless void, appears like a fatal doom.

"Even for observation or enjoyable criticism into which the despair of ennui might resolve itself, the assembly offered little scope.

"There was nothing remarkable about the old ladies and gentlemen that could challenge it; sometimes I felt a sensation as though I were sitting in a cabinet of wax figures; every one around me so orderly and pale--so silent and motionless.

"Outside, the moonlight fell full upon the Castle lake. How gladly should I have wandered about where it shed its silver through the tall trees of the garden, until farther away the bright effulgence blended, dreamlike, with the dusky green.

"In the meantime, a few younger ladies had entered; yet the conversation would not flow freely. They were slender, almost thin, figures. Averse to every ornament, they had selected a costume which merely served to make the meagreness of their appearance more disadvantageously conspicuous.

"In my efforts worthily to represent youthful mankind, I was only assisted by a candidate for the ministry, who finally offered some incitement to my wearied imagination, inasmuch as I could, without very great temerity, compare his tall, overgrown figure, which was distinguished by a remarkably long neck, with a giraffe.

"He made an attempt at conversation by imparting information to my aunt as to which ministers would proclaim the Word of God at the different town churches on the following Sunday; thereupon he seated himself, with his tea-cup, in a corner and remained persistently silent.

"Here and there a mysterious whispering; I began to feel more and more uncomfortable.

"Then the door opened, and everything, as if by the stroke of an enchanter's wand, was metamorphosed for me--was as if illumined with a magic light flowing fully in upon us; for in came that graceful woman, with all the freshness of youth, whom I had seen amid the companions of that remarkable prophet, and it seemed as if the whole company felt the same influence, for all rose with a certain warmth and hastened towards her.

"In her dress, she differed little from the other ladies; everything bright was avoided. An unobtrusive grey, only broken by a plain white collar, excluded every charm of colour; yet, how gleamed the blue of her beautiful eyes! What fresh, rosy tints in her cheeks, what youthfulness in her movements!

"Like pillars of salt, the others stood beside her! I was introduced to her, I learned her name!

"She was a Frau Salden, and from some turn in the conversation I was enabled to gather that she was a young widow, who for four years already had lived alone with an eight-year-old little daughter.

"She must have married very young, for she was evidently still in the beautiful bloom of the twenties.

"I reminded her of our first meeting; she recollected the young student--she had recognised me again at once.

"'He departed this life,' said she, regretfully, 'our friend and guide, the preacher in the wilderness--that glorious man, who penetrated into the secrets of the world with singular depth of thought. You have seen him and heard him speak, it will remain a lasting recollection for you; in the even tenour of the world of the present day, such men must be unforgotten.'

"It seemed to me as though a glistening tear rose to her eye.

"'It was John the Baptist; he foretold the coming Man.'

"'Child, what utterances,' said my aunt, who had known the young lady since childhood.

"Indeed, I perceived several tokens of disapproval amongst the elder ladies and gentlemen.

"The candidate for the ministry pushed his chair about impatiently, like a great Power that is preparing for war; and only two of the young ladies indicated their concurrence.

"I remarked that in this holy circle divers parties were formed, and did not hesitate for a moment under which standard I should take my oath of allegiance.

"'So much dead Christianity,' continued Frau von Salden, intrepidly, 'reigns in the world, so much benumbedness; streams of life must be conducted into it again by the elect.'

"Then the candidate rose from his chair, and, with the gestures of a zealous accuser, asked--

"'Who, then, are these elect? Surely not those who deem themselves to be such--not those preachers who prowl about the streets, and give out the inventions of a diseased brain for words of revelation; not those who have their peculiar secret doctrines, of which nothing is to be found in the Scriptures, and who, as rumour says, allow themselves to be idolised by their disciples? True piety is far removed from the assumption of being able to teach something better than that which the Holy Scriptures proclaim.'

"'Then all thinkers would be condemned to eternal silence,' suggested I. 'I have heard that prophet speak; they were new bold thoughts that must enchain the people's mind.'

"'We require,' cried Frau von Salden, 'a new key to the comprehension of the secrets of Nature and history.'

"The candidate stretched out his long neck towards his valiant opponent, and said--

"'An examination will be made as to whether this key is not false and a copy.'

"Several elderly gentlemen interposed mediatingly between the conflicting parties, and protested particularly against any interference on the part of the State; but the candidate, who became still more like a raging turkey cock, cried, with suppressed wrath--

"'And what is it that charms in this new doctrine? Why do the women and girls follow a banner which dared not be unfurled in the open light of day? That is effected by the charming standard bearers; that preacher who at the same time is a handsome man, combines benignity and dignity in his features, who unites distinguished and commanding bearing with ensnaring courtesy and amiability. When the manna falls, all the people stoop; but above all the daughters of Eve.'

"I admired the longsuffering of the young widow, who replied with a placid smile to all these violent onslaughts, while I even, although I did not exactly know whither all those onslaughts were directed, assumed a sharp tone towards the candidate, and condemned the intolerance which his words displayed.

"Those speeches still live in my recollection; they made a deep impression upon me at the time. That which in earlier years floated before me, the founding of a new religion, was it now being carried out in my immediate vicinity, without my knowing anything about it? And did this religion possess such graceful priestesses as that one, from whom I could not avert my gaze so long as she was within its reach? I had sometimes heard people talk of the new sect which had gained numerous adherents from the fashionable world; despite all difference of opinion about that sect, all were agreed as to the fact that the actual nature of its doctrines was a secret, and I would not force myself into such a secret.

"'You must hear him,' said the young widow, 'that preacher, of whom the Herr Candidate thinks so little. You will be amazed at the power of his eloquence; he is full of aspirations, and interprets the Bible boldly, without deviating from its words.'

"She spoke confidentially, and only to me--

"'I had quite ceased to know what a feeling of devotion is, because the pious indifference of ordinary attendance at church only seems like the compulsory recapitulation of our duty towards Heaven; but our religion whose revelations and delights penetrate to our innermost feelings, a religion that the day does not know, can alone reveal to us the secret of faith.'

"Thereupon she spoke brightly of everyday matters, and displayed such sound judgment on all topics, that I could not look upon such enthusiasm as the outflow of a diseased temperament. When the company had dispersed, I accompanied her on the short portion of our road that lay together, which here led us over the Castle bridge. It was a magic, moonlight night, and my companion had inspired me with such confidence that I initiated her into the enthusiastic emotions which nature stirred within me; I hoped to find sympathy in her, and I did find it.

"'That is a ray of the original light, which penetrates the human soul,' said she in her charming manner.

"Yet I recognised that there was some connection between my innermost sensations and the doctrines of that community; but I recognised still more that in this beautiful woman an appreciative companion of my efforts had risen up for me.

"I parted from her with a warm shake of the hand, which she cordially returned. Love and friendship ever found a place in that brotherhood; I was extremely moved. Her presence exercised more of a soothing effect upon me; as soon as I lost sight of her, I was overcome as with an unconquerable longing sensation. Not as formerly did I seek to control it; I vowed firmly to myself to see her again, to seek her wherever she might be.

"On the following Sunday I visited the church of which Frau Salden had spoken to me. The house of God was festively, almost too secularly decorated; a large town-like congregation was assembled, such as might be expected in one of the principal parish churches. At the first glance the pious gathering did not seem to differ from such as are to be found in other churches; however, I soon remarked that in the front rows and upon the favoured prie-dieux, a more select community, as it appeared, had taken their places. My eyes first sought Frau Salden, and soon found her in the midst of fashionable ladies and gentlemen, whose whole demeanour betrayed that they felt themselves to be peculiarly at home here. The assurance and gracefulness of behaviour, the studiously simple attire of the ladies, the radiance of a transfiguring fervour that overspread their countenances, all showed me that my eyes were resting upon the circle of the elect. Several elderly gentlemen were decorated with the Iron Cross; they were fine men, grave and dignified, and yet enthusiastically devout.

"The minister appeared in the pulpit; a handsome man, with a slight figure and long dark curly hair parted down the middle. His delivery was singularly melodious, somewhat winning, yes, entrancing; I understood what a charm this apostle must exercise upon his devout listeners, especially upon the girls and women.

"On the other hand, his sermon disappointed me completely. I had anticipated new, almost excessive disclosures, luminous flashes of a loftier revelation, which, even if more dazzling than enlightening, would quiver through the obscurity of the traditional faith, while what I heard was one of those biblical discourses that are to be found in everyday churches. He spoke of sin and redemption, he urged us to conversion and salvation, but all was based upon the words of the Evangelists and Apostles. Only sometimes it appeared to me that with some turn, as it were, a little side door was opened, through which fell the radiance of a more mystical light, but which was only visible to the elect.

"I now visited my aunt often enough, and I succeeded also in meeting the beautiful widow there two or three times. I did not conceal from her the impression which that much-admired speaker's sermon had made upon me.

"'Wherefore,' said she, 'reveal the deeper meaning of Nature and the Bible to those who, after all, cannot grasp it? For them the transient gleam of light which plays upon the surface is all-sufficient. Besides which, every new and profound doctrine is exposed to misunderstanding, it must cause offence to the crowd.'

"'But so did not that prophet think,' suggested I, 'in whose company I first saw you. He preferred to address his revelations to the people.'

"'It was an error,' replied Frau von Salden. 'He atoned heavily for it; lonely and unassisted he passed away. Such working for the people is like wandering through sand; the next gust of wind removes all traces of our footsteps. Everything lofty is a secret; only sympathetic minds can raise the veil.'

"I asked how one may draw nearer to the secret, and my beautiful friend advised me to visit the minister, and tell him that I was animated with the desire of entering the narrow circle of his faithful. She encouraged me to do so most eagerly, and I felt as if her words contained something that seemed like true interest in the welfare of my soul.

"I knew I should often have opportunities of meeting her; yet, even although my whole soul yearned to do so, although I found myself beneath the power of her beautiful eyes, and dedicated to her that superabundant adoration which is always united to a first love, yet it was not this alone that decided me to follow her advice, but still more that dark longing which, from childhood upwards, had been animated within me, to find a new solution for the enigma of the world, which it was so difficult to fathom, and to find the key for many an internal occurrence that had seemed to me like a revelation of the Divine.

"The preacher received me with great friendliness, and did not hesitate to grant my wish. His conversation fell easily upon much that was scientific and worldly; to many questions about the state of enthusiasm under which I laboured, he was able to give adroit information. It certainly touched what I felt, but did not satisfy me. Then he assumed a still more friendly mien, and began to initiate me into the secrets of the community, so far as this was practicable for a novice.

"I learned that the sect consisted of various circles, all, indeed, around the same centre, but in greater or lesser proximity, and that it did not tend to the benefit of those more remote to know everything that was revealed to those who stood nearest. Still, the preacher informed me that several women and girls occupied the highest position amongst those who were enlightened, and belonged to the favoured natures of light, beneath whose protection he himself stood.

"Certainly all this did not sound very satisfactory, but mysterious and exciting enough. A far off goal was set to all efforts; truths displayed themselves in semi-veiled outlines, which must later be revealed fully and clearly to the seeker, even if now they admitted manifold interpretations.

"In short, with a good heart, I put out to sea beneath the flag of the mysterious creed. The minister dismissed me with a kiss and shake of the hand.

"I hastened to my aunt; there Frau Salden was awaiting me; she knew the time and hour of my appointment with the minister. Much delighted, she heard my news; her features became animated, her eye was radiant.

"When my aunt was called away by some domestic concern, Frau Salden rose, came towards me with a grave, inspired countenance, greeted me as a member of the congregation, as her brother, and pressed a kiss upon my lips.

"It was the holy kiss of a sister, the seraphic kiss, the consecration of the bond of saints! Did not male and female cousins and indifferent relatives kiss one another according to the right of cousinship; how much higher stood the right of spiritual relationship! Certainly, for many such a kiss would only be a pious symbol, for many, a form of but little significance. It was different with me, different with this woman! Until now, I had remained a stranger to all intercourse of affection and love; how unapproachable all womankind had appeared to me!

"This kiss was the first kiss of initiation; but not the secret of the community did it reveal to me, the secret of life itself. It metamorphosed me inwardly; every feeling of estrangement it swept away from me; woman no longer stood before me as a far-removed saint; she appeared to be desirable, to promise felicity.

"And could it be otherwise?

"How long in worldly circles must hesitating affection wait ere love presses the seal of the first kiss upon it in token of acquiescence? But this woman had already first occupied my inmost emotions before I approached her under the eyes of the saints; now she came towards me with open arms, with the pious greeting of love, for which, with worldly affection, I might long have striven. Must not this intoxicate me, and kindle an unknown ardour within my soul?

"Certainly Frau Salden did not share it; she only cherished sisterly feelings for me, yes, I might almost say maternal; distantly and coldly, she commenced an extensive examination of my inner nature.

"The bright smile had vanished from her lips; even the gaze of her large eyes was proud and stern. An incomprehensible contradiction, and a something almost solemnly strange, lay in such close intimacy. I stood her examination with calmness and without reserve, for pride stirred itself within me, and I would not recognise the superiority that she assumed. Nevertheless, I drew an immediate advantage from my position towards the select community, and begged for permission to visit her, which she readily granted.

"She lived in the east suburb, in a couple of cosy rooms, elegantly furnished. The one seemed to be dedicated to pious reflections. A large book-shelf contained the works of our poets and thinkers, at the same time a large number of religious writings. The walls were covered with representations of Christ, as well as with pictures of the prophet and the preacher, which hung on a level, as it seemed, accurately measured line with His.

"On a lectern lay a magnificently bound Bible with a golden cross upon the cover; above it on the wall hung a copy of Correggio's Magdalene. The windows opened towards the river and the green meadows, which there enframed its bed; farther off, two solitary windmills moved their wings in wearisome regularity.

"The front room was of a more worldly character; in the one corner stood a small doll's room, and other girlish playthings, but the little bird had always flown from its nest at the hour when I usually came; it was the time when with her governess, she went down to the next story to her favourite playfellow. Beside it upon a writing table lay account books, which I immediately recognised as such; a later communication from Frau Salden confirmed my idea that they were the accounts of the management of her estate; she possessed a small property, which she only occupied during a short period in the summer, as a lengthy separation from the community would have been too great a trial for her.

"All this still stands so vividly before my mind, that I could paint those two rooms down to the veriest trifle, ebony table and chair, every picture on the wall; for who would ever forget the stage on which such important events were acted, and just now I feel an urgent need to bury myself in these recollections, and ah! that little doll's room to-day fills me with mournful emotion, yes with silent despair.

"I now frequently visited Frau Salden; we talked much of worldly and spiritual affairs; she was alternately merry and unembarrassed, or grave, solemn and reserved. Then again, from time to time, it was as though she were not speaking in her own name, but on the part of the community; it was in order to induct me ever deeper into the secrets of the new doctrine; this I perceived soon enough, and it was particularly attractive, to me it was indeed a new religion, which only appeared before the world in biblical guise.

"Zoroaster could, just as well as Christ, stand godfather to the doctrine of the two primordial beings, fire and water, the element of darkness, its opposite and its union by means of Lucifer, the scintillant serpent-spirit, and thus through all life extended the contradiction of the two-headed principle. Did not the minister himself, in the circle of the elect, pronounce that the old law had outlived itself, and proclaim the approach of the Millennium.

"Yet in me also lively doubts were kindled as to how he could control those fundamental powers of everything living. The revelation of light which had been proclaimed to me, was not lost; I interpreted it in my own way, and brought it into unison with the delights of Nature which had often enraptured me; but the beautiful woman had greater power over me than the priestess; in her eyes I forgot the Millennium, and all its apostles in her seraph's kisses. The pious and solemn greeting at meeting and parting, burned for me like earthly fire, and I could not conceal from myself that an unholy passion had taken possession of me; unholy because it was a misuse of holy forms, because it broke distractingly into all circles of my thoughts and feelings.

"One day, Pauline, for I knew her Christian name already, and might use it with a brother's right, announced to me that she could not decide whether I belonged to the natures of light or of darkness; it was the minister's wish that I should visit the Gräfin at the Castle, and make a full confession of my sins to her.

"It was the period when in France a Saint Simon's and Pére Enfantin's doctrine of the priesthood of woman found extensive propagation, and in large assemblies of the Paris street Taitbout was taught by inspired women. I could not avoid thinking of that intelligence in the newspapers, when I was invited by the Gräfin to the Castle. There was repeated in pious garb the same performance, but only in doctrine, not in deed. Here the priestly office was already exercised by an aristocratic woman, and that woman boasted of lofty revelation, and could even spread her angel's wings protectingly over the minister of the community.

"Not without hesitation I entered the inner castle yard; the gloomy old masonry of the large quadrangle overlooked by lofty towers did not act soothingly upon my temperament; I felt like those unfortunate men to whom once in those gloomy apartments, which were still known as those of criminal justice, the sword of the German knights was placed at their throats, so that they should confess Christ, or else incur the penalty of death. It was a horrible trial of faith, and I felt as if I were one of those unhappy followers of Perkunos.

"Certainly the drawing-rooms into which I was conducted, did not bear the remotest resemblance to those dread vaults. The view from that high stronghold of Ottokar extended far over the town, which with its church towers and high gabled houses, and at the same time windowless warehouse quarters, surrounded and traversed with glistening branches of the river, lay as if cowering at its feet. There was something soothing and alleviating to the mind in that free prospect; with my heart throbbing less violently, I awaited the entrance of the woman who was considered to be the superior nature of light in the elect circle.

"And she entered, smiling gently and kindly, her appearance delicate and distinguished; I almost felt as though an ambrosial light was floating around her, and when she also greeted me with the sisterly kiss, I felt as if receiving consecration from above, it was as though one of those bodyless angel's heads, which, as Raphael painted them, possess wings only, had kissed me.

"At first it was the mild, confiding sister who spoke to me; she introduced sundry worldly affairs into the conversation, and I was obliged to give her accurate information about our genealogical tree and the estates of our family, and just the same of my previous life.

"Nevertheless, I soon perceived that I no longer talked to my fellow-believer on terms of equality; with polite and dexterous transition she had changed the conversation into an examination. The examination in the first place concerned my external life, but should soon direct itself towards my internal one.

"A change, for which I could not entirely account, had taken place in the Gräfin, but of which, however, I soon experienced the secret power. All friendliness and mildness had suddenly disappeared from her features, they had assumed an almost gloomy air of decision; something majestic and commanding lay in her whole demeanour. She rose and stood before me, drawn up to her full height; the woman had been transformed into the priestess. With a sign, she bade me remain seated, and solemnly explained that the Archdeacon had given to her the right of consecrating and sanctifying men and women, after he had imparted supreme consecration to herself. It was her duty to examine hearts, to root out sin, to speak truths sharply and unsparingly; because love in man becomes zealous with a divine zeal. And she, indeed, appeared to be impregnated with that zeal; a deep glow suffused her features, she stood before me in proud, strange beauty. I was fain to think of the angel with the flaming sword.

"She required unreserved confession and acknowledgment of my sins.

"I hesitated. What should I confess? So new was this introspection still to me that I had occupied myself but little with discovering what, according to the measure of these saints, would be accounted sin.

"She became more urgent; she demanded confession by the rights of her office. It was false shame wishing to conceal anything. The heavenly passion purified fallen man from sin. No secular laws were concerned in this case; not the sham and falseness of society, only truth--the open truth. Nor need the confession seek for veiled expressions; the sharper the words, the sharper the self-condemnation.

"I still hesitated. She began to ask if I--I who came from the world without, beginning at home--had banished all earthly affection from my intercourse with the women of the community.

"She enquired so solemnly, I could almost believe that I heard the scales of justice rattle. I was already beneath her spell; I had no perception of what was strange, astounding in the whole proceeding; the oppressive sensation of internal consciousness of guilt overcame me, and I acknowledged that my heart drew me towards Frau Salden, and that in the midst of pious conversations the thought of her beauty, of her charms, entangled me.

"I drew a breath of relief after this confession; I believed that I had now done my duty as a penitent. Yet I was mistaken; now only did the implacable judge commence an examination that penetrated to the inmost detail; she entered upon a domain which no child of the world would have trodden with equal freedom; my whole soul lay as if upon a dissecting-table before this wonderful woman. Emotions, wishes, which softly, obscurely, and of which I was even only vaguely conscious, concealed themselves in the recesses of my heart, must be brought to light; my inner nature became transparent to her as well as to me; and when I had conquered the first shyness, such a confession was even welcome. I found it tranquilising to have a witness of my internal struggle. An inexplicable charm, which was not only of a spiritual nature, lay in such undisguised confession, which despised all social custom, but was justified by higher ordinance.

"The Gräfin praised me for my candour, and when I had made known to her that otherwise I was still free from all sin, and that my heart, in the midst of Nature, still often rejoiced in marvellous revelations, she called me a child of light, who might, perhaps, be destined to attain a high position in the circle of the elect.

"I had promised reformation of the one sin to which I could confess, a sin of thought, and indeed I was in earnest about it. Since my visit to the Gräfin, a gloomy consciousness of guilt had taken possession of me, which I loved to ponder over in solitude. Woman had formerly been a divinity for me, she seemed so again, since I had seen the Gräfin in the exercise of her priestly mission, and the feelings of vain worldly pleasure to which I had yielded when with my pious young friend, I counted to myself as a sin.

"I became an industrious attendant not only at church, but also at the smaller meetings in which the minister expounded his doctrines; I eagerly studied the Revelation of St. John. The Lion and the Lamb, the Breaker of the Seal, as a second minister of the sect was designated, the Angel of the Apocalypse; all these were pictures which became more and more vivid to my imagination, yet in the principal doctrine of the approach of the Millennium I buried myself with a fervour which was not free from doubts, yet was it not the prediction of a new world, and such dreams lived long within me. The entrancing words of the minister, the enthusiasm and proud beauty of the female children of light at his side, the spiritual toiling and struggling in a world withdrawn from everyday life, full of singular mysteries, had made me into a zealous disciple of the secret community. I was looked upon with respect by the minister, the Witnesses, and the Breaker of the Seal. My visits to Frau Salden became very rare; I also avoided her at the meetings; my shy manner towards her had been remarked by her. Had the Gräfin not stood so high upon the ladder of the saints, Frau Salden would have charged her with being the cause of my transformation. At heart she certainly did not spare the Gräfin this accusation, as since my visit to the castle I had become distant towards herself. Sternly and for some time I struggled successfully against my affection for the beautiful woman, until a new and unexpected turn took place in my life."

CHAPTER III.

[THE FALL OF MAN.]

"One day a note from Frau Salden, intimated to me that I was now considered strong enough to be present at one of those secret sittings, in which the great act of salvation was taught and practised, and invited me to one of those gatherings.

"It was a tolerably large room, but dimly lighted. Men and women were assembled, their devoutness appeared more fervent than usual, yet a spirit of secresy pervaded the gathering, which had shut itself off from the outside world. Lengthy and solemn was the preacher's discourse, urging his hearers, by the power of a higher consciousness, to shake off all sin, successfully to resist all temptations, to despise all earthly charms.

"And the spiritual instruction was followed by spiritual exercises.

"I can here only relate what I felt and what a flash of lightning was launched into my soul on that evening. Mephistopheles might feel himself at home in the classical Walpurgis night, he had been educated to it on the Blocksberg; but a man who has only seen female beauty in a statuary of antiques is internally stirred by it at first as by something strange, divine; yet the sacred fire transforms itself into a brand that it casts into his soul.

"Thus it befell me also! Another perhaps would have turned away from the incredible, as if from some hypocritical doings, and have condemned the leader of this divina comedia. Again another would have condemned the excesses of extravagant piety which played a serious game with sin.

"The veil of Sais which hung before my life was torn; for the first time I saw in all its glory the disguised wonder of my dreams, woman.

"But the Millennium also sank into ruins with one blow!

"I was sufficiently used to intoxicated rapture not to condemn with the mind of the sober man that which was unusual, over which the uninitiated must break a lance. That which was done, was not done in the service of sin, it was a holy sacrifice, and how could the exalted lights of the community be thus extinguished in the fog and mist of what was common? If the limitless audacity of these believers made me shudder--it was only the curse of sin, the temptation of the devil, it was the unatonable crime of beauty, against which the power of blessed resistance might strive in vain.

"And this marvel of creation should be a work of the devil, this paradise of beauty only conceal the serpent within itself!

"Fools who drew to light the secret dispositions of the primeval powers, because ruin and sin creep about in darkness, but in light beauty triumphs. No uneasiness, no thought of mockery and desecration arose within me; I felt so strange amongst these men and women, for only in the service of higher powers could they overcome that which without in unsanctified circles was esteemed citizen-like custom. Their sanctification consisted in crossing themselves before beauty, and drawing near to it in blindness that could see, and with a loathing that struggled to suppress delight.

"Thus had the preacher taught; in such sanctity I, too, made my essay, but much too great was the power of beauty over me who had hitherto seen so little. I felt that its contemplation sanctified me otherwise than the secret doctrine desired. Like an electric flash of enlightenment, it poured over all recollections of my school days; the dreary lecture-room was transformed into Mount Ida with its goddesses, and Venus appeared before my eyes as she arises in immortal beauty out of the ocean's billows.

"A heretic was begotten in me, secession from the dark doctrine proclaimed itself in my heart. A principal figure of those revelations which illumine the creation of the world with mysterious light, stood before my soul, and I had the temerity to compare myself with it. It was that Eloah of light, that Lucifer who suddenly perceived that the powers of light which flowed from him became diminished, and now retained them defiantly within himself, in opposition to the plan of creation. Thus I felt within me the spirit of revolt, the individual power which receives the light of revelation in itself merely for its own defiant illumination.

"And on that evening the Gräfin from the Castle led Frau Salden to me as my spiritual bride. Spiritual bride!--profound significance lay in this word, a significance which extended far away beyond the span of earthly life; it contained a consecration for this and for that other world.

"Yet I was no longer capable of grasping that import--earthly love had laid hold of my heart; now I no longer recognised the barriers, as I did after that confession to the Gräfin; like a tempest in spring, I felt it rage within me: the spring of love and beauty had for the first time made their entry into my soul.

"I visited Frau Salden, but how changed everything appeared to me in those cosy rooms! All rest, all peace had vanished from them. The lines in the splendid open Bible ran confusedly into one another, the Magdalene on the wall seemed to rise from her couch, throw the Bible aside, and be wafted towards us in that seductive beauty in which she once wandered on the shores of the Sea of Galilee, and, as if in mockery of my feverish unrest, the windmill sails on yonder side of the river moved with irritating regularity.

"But the seraphic kisses of my spiritual bride burned upon my lips.

"She was gentle and calm before my passionate fervour. I acknowledged to her that I loved her; she replied that such was my right and my duty, and that this love was reciprocated by her; certainly it might not be of a perishable form, not like children of the world must we love one another, but with imperishable spiritual love. My heart, all my feelings were bound up in her. Nevertheless, it was not merely indistinctness, but hypocrisy on my part when I still spoke of such spiritual love, for I loved her with all fervour, as mortals love who do not belong to the elect and chosen.

"I still frequently attempted to attune my mind to those emotions which filled me when woman still stood before me sublime, unknown; but that magic was broken, and as I previously, probably more than all others of that circle, had been capable of the purest spiritual love, so was I now, when since that fatal evening on which the unhemmed waves of passion broke over me, more incapable of it than all others.

"What to the others appeared to be the hermit's grotto of Saint Anthony, who resisted the allurements of the spirit of beauty, had become a mount of Venus for me, and like a modern Tannhäuser, I lay beneath the spell of the immortal goddess.

"I dared not confess my heresy to the beloved one; perhaps she would have turned angrily away from me for ever, and I could justify my silence, because I too had moments in which I could join in my spiritual bride's fervent prayers, but they were merely moments. My internal estrangement from the faith of the elect community increased. I only ventured to express the faintest doubts, then she looked at me with an expression of infinite love; her large tender eye rested upon me with such soul-felt meaning; verily her love for me was different from mine for her: she appeared to watch over my whole life, she felt that we must all be prepared to welcome the coming hour of the Millennium; atonement, forgiveness, purification spoke from out her looks, infinite desire to rescue, to sanctify the sinner.

"I came frequently, I came daily; she withheld all tokens which love demands, although her saintly eyes expressed an increasing, more intense emotion. I became a hypocrite, I required these tokens in the name of salvation, of spiritual exercises; could my spiritual bride deny me them?

"Serious and devout conversations must accompany the work of sanctification.

"She urged me with great sternness, and blamed my lack of holy strength, when my eyes told more of passion than of sacred self-conquest; yet her eyes, too, were not always so stern as her words; sometimes they were filled with a tenderness the eloquence of which was very different from that which flowed from her lips; it was as if they would atone for the unavoidably harsh word which sacred duty imposed; yes this word, too, lost its victorious decision, it quivered with internal conflict, and sometimes she closed her weary eye, and tears hung on her eyelashes.

"It was on a quiet evening, we alone as usual; I came overwhelmed with conflicting feelings, because I was wanting in all the qualifications of a hypocrite; my heart rebelled against the opposition which threatened to destroy my life.

"The wings of the windmill went round beneath the evening sky; it seemed like a mockery of all my thoughts and deeds, that everlasting monotony of the beating of wooden wings, that interminable game of those arms stretching out in vain.

"I was more daring, she softer than usual; she would even on that day deny me the right of devout exercise. Then I assumed the stern tone of a spiritual bridegroom, and she obeyed hesitatingly; the spirit of grace seemed to have left her, she seemed to be seized with a tremor before the might of passion, with rapture into which her own beauty transported her. And, indeed, I thought her more beautiful than ever on that day; pious words died upon her lips; I covered them with glowing kisses, and folded her in my arms.

"The spiritual bride had become a mortal woman, the grey ashes of penitence had been wafted away by all the winds of heaven, and the Vulcan of earthly affection had obstructed the Paradise of those Saints with red-hot lava.

"She released herself from my arms, and rushed, sobbing, upon her knees before the prie dieu, to which she clung convulsively.

"I explained to her that, from that day, I should look upon her as my betrothed, and begged her to accept my heart and hand.

"She looked up at me with a glance full of emotion and love, as it appeared to me, for she uttered no word, nor did she rise from her knees.

"With equal decision, however, I told her that we must both leave the circle of saints, that for long already my heart had rebelled against the doctrine of sanctity and this playing with sin; that I no longer believed in the marriage of souls, but that now I perceived the goal of that love which takes possession of the entire man, in giving up mind and body.

"Then the penitent arose, and, with clasped bands, gazed at me with a look of pity.

"'There is one atonement for sin,' said she, 'if the right spirit of sanctity dwells within us; but he who renounces that spirit is lost; he destroys the bond of the community of souls, for this and for the next life.'

"'Paulina,' cried I, 'you have heard my offer, and you would still thus refuse to be mine?'

"'Why shall marriage,' replied she, 'not be the pillar of lasting communion of souls? Even our principal children of light, even the Witnesses of the Revelation are united, and gladly would I traverse the path of life with you. But never shall I sacrifice the incorruptible to the corruptible! You shut yourself out from the companions of our union, as soon as you release yourself from our faith. Then I shall no longer be your spiritual bride, and it would be impious to become your earthly wife.'

"I still spoke to her in the imploring language of passion; I folded her ardently in my arms, she did not repel me, yet she remained cold, and the pupils of her eyes dilated with a strange wandering light.

"'You are too agitated to-day,' I said to her. 'Recover yourself, I will come again to talk more quietly.'

"'It will not make any difference,' said she, coldly. 'I have sinned, I know it, but for such sin there is forgiveness; I will go to him who occupies a high position in the spiritual kingdom, to the perfect man; I will confess to him, and he will pardon my guilt! But there is no atonement for those who draw back from the earnestness of sanctification, and return into the darkness of the world and their ruin, because the shadow of death, will fall upon them, and they are faithless and have succumbed to the devil. Return to us,' she cried, imploringly, 'then I will be your wife upon earth, as some day in heaven; believe once more in the sanctification which you have impiously desecrated with unbelief, because the acknowledgment of the truth has power to sanctify everything.'

"'Never,' said I now. 'I shall not return, and just as little shall I tolerate that my wife be sanctified by the witnesses and angels.'

"She replied that she should never separate herself from a community in which she had found her soul's eternal salvation.

"My heart seemed to be pierced and torn; was it possible that she, in whom I had found the delight of my life, was lost to me? Was it credible that now we parted coldly and distantly?

"It had become late; I descended the dark staircase of the house, when I heard a merry, childish voice, and touched a nurse's dress in passing.

"'The little Salden?' asked I.

"'Yes, my Herr,' was the reply.

"I stroked the hair and cheeks of the little one, who seemed to nestle against her companion in alarm.

"'Do not be afraid,' said I, 'go play with your dolls; it is the same game that the saints indulge in with theirs.'

"As I descended the stairs still farther, I heard above me another surreptitious chuckle, followed by cheerful laughter.

"During a sleepless night, the late occurrences impressed themselves with glowing characters into my soul--the intoxication of bliss, and the anguish of renunciation--and hastening down from a brightly-illumined hill, I followed a woman wandering through chasms from one dark abyss to another; her tattered robe caught on every thorn, but her beautiful form gleamed from the depths below.

"Two days passed away in agonising excitement; I hoped Paulina in the meantime would have found leisure for calmer consideration; I, myself, adhered firmly to my given word, although I was aware that in the circle of my relatives who disapproved of my intercourse with the saints, of my connection with that beautiful woman, who was known to be one of the most zealous adherents of the much-abused creed, much annoyance would be caused, yes, that my father would perhaps refuse his consent altogether.

"Once more I visited the woman of what was truly my first love. I repeated my offer.

"She was friendly as ever, and welcomed me with the pious greeting of the community, and then said--

"'We will remain friends; I have spoken to him, the holy, the pure man; I have seen him with my eyes, he has taken me to his heart, he will teach and sanctify me, for he has pity upon my weakness. Then, however, I am to occupy a high position in the congregation; he recognises that in my inner being lies all that must call me to be a child of light.'

"She uttered it cheerfully, almost triumphantly, but I saw that this woman was lost to me for ever! I parted from her in despair.

"Since then I have never seen her again.

"When the secular powers interfered in the secrets of the new faith, when the leading preachers were summoned before the law, then the public voice spoke a verdict of condemnation upon all who belonged to that circle.

"Then I heard Frau Salden's name mentioned, whose guardianship of her child had been taken from her by the authorities, because a mother possessing such impious principles was not capable of bringing it up properly; I learned that she had banished herself to the greatest solitude upon her remote estate. I had contrived to have myself removed to the law courts of another province, but since that time the report of my participation in that community persecuted me. My relations to Frau Salden certainly had remained a secret; but it was sufficient that I had been a member of that despised circle, in order to cause me to be constantly overlooked and kept back in the early part of my career. I therefore relinquished it entirely, and wandered through distant quarters of the globe, so as to escape from the reproaches of others and from my own memories of the past. After many years I returned home, and to my pained astonishment found that those occurrences which I had deemed long since buried, still clung to people's recollections. But that is not the worst. A cold hand has taken hold of the new spring that arose brilliantly before me, and all its verdure and blossoms are transformed into crackling, withered leaves; inevitably, mortally the past seizes me as if it were a Medusa's head! That is a blow to my very heart, and after I have once more let the pictures of my life pass quietly before me, I may now at last utter one cry of anguish, like a wounded hart, that pants in vain to refresh itself at the sparkling forest spring.

"Eva's mother is that Frau Salden, who once was my spiritual bride! Thus the daughter can never become my earthly one; it is a calamity, it is my doom! No written law prohibits it; the world's opinion cannot condemn, as from it all remains a secret; but my irrefutable feeling rebels against it, it is impossible and I am utterly miserable that it is impossible."

With these words, Blanden had concluded his story. Without, the morning already lay sparkling over land and sea; Blanden started as a chance glance in the mirror showed him his own worn-out reflection.

Doctor Kuhl had merely interrupted his friend's tale now and again by a question or a remark, now he flung his finished cigar aside with the words, "The poor child!"

"And can you see no means of escape?" asked Blanden.

"No, one may bid defiance to laws, but not to one's personal feelings."

"Never have I been so helpless," cried Blanden, "so desperately helpless; I wander about like a criminal; I dare not approach either the mother or the daughter. May she learn the truth? What excuse is offered for my withdrawal, for behaviour that looks like a public insult?"

"Write a couple of lines to her now," said Kuhl, "but not all at once. The dose would be too severe. Leave the rest to the mother. And now go and sleep, my friend; you need a few hours' refreshment. I will forget the follies of human life, and simultaneously with the fire of the young sun plunge into the ocean tide. Until we meet again!"

CHAPTER IV.

[MOTHER AND DAUGHTER.]

The mother, after a violent attack of spasms, had fallen asleep.

Eva watched beside her bed; torn, its flowers crushed and mingling with her dishevelled locks, the blue-bell wreath hung around her brow; as if in mockery, the music of the interrupted feast resounded from afar; an old clock on the wall ticked second after second, and to Eva it seemed as if with each second her age increased by days, with each half hour by years, as though her life were running down with the noisy mechanism of the clock.

She put her hand to her burning temples; yes she must have become old, very old, during that night!

And was her mother not still young and beautiful--still now even, as she lay there with distorted features, with scorching breath, with violent throbbings of her pulses, in fevered dreams?

Eva gazed with infinite emotion upon the sleeping woman. All fond pictures of her childhood rose before her mind: she saw herself sitting at the window that looked out over meadow and river, her mother explained the pictures in her picture books; she still saw that lovely smile hover around those lips when they read aloud some merry verse which interpreted a gaily-coloured scene; then she saw herself with her mother in the evening light, in whose reflection the rafts glided along the river, and because everything was so beautiful and full of repose outside, and equally beautiful and calm her mother's countenance, she kissed and embraced that fondly beloved one with heartfelt fervour in a feeling of gratitude that knew no bounds, as though she must thank her mother for the glorious evening, and for every joy in her young life.

Then she stood again before her doll's house; her mother came to her and joined in her play, hour after hour. Every doll had its name and its character, and they met with sundry wonderful little occurrences. The daughter hung devoutly on her mother's lips, which chatted so merrily, and from which flowed such an inexhaustible spring of legends and fairy tales.

But when she prayed--and she prayed much--then the daughter might not disturb her. She always rose from her knees so mild and gentle, and her fervent eyes rested at those times with double happiness upon the beloved child.

Then gloomy days drew near, days of weeping and wailing. Eva wept too, she knew not wherefore, all was unquiet; everything moved around her as if in the flickering light of a scorching fire--but she could not tell whence the flames ascended. Cupboards were emptied, boxes packed; suddenly the hour of departure tolled--a never-to-be-forgotten hour filled with tears. How she rested upon her mother's heart, as though she could not tear herself away!

All these pictures passed before her mind, as after a meeting which was even more terrible than once the parting had been, and equally inexplicable, she sat beside her mother's sick bed. But the fever appeared to diminish; she breathed more softly, more quietly; the lamp went out, the first streaks of early dawn peeped through the window panes.

And with the first beams of morning, holy thoughts filled the daughter's breast; thoughts of the pleasures of sacrifice, such as in the dawn of history often filled the breasts of nations.

Oh, could she make this beautiful unhappy mother happy; she would sacrifice her heart's blood for that mother, gladly meet death for her sake!

She folded her hands; every thought, every emotion, was a blessing upon her mother, who had suffered, must still suffer so much.

And in these thoughts she forgot herself; her own life appeared to her like an expiring light, and she did not lament it.

And yet, she could not but again and again recollect that unheard of, that mysterious event which had taken place, for which with convulsive struggles she sought some elucidation.

One thing she felt assured of--the happiness of her life was destroyed, and perhaps the darkness in which she was shipwrecked contained more consolation than an unnatural light which illumined the intricate paths of her doom.

And he--how miserable must he be! It was the same flash of lightning that had struck them both.

The mother stirred; did the first ray of the sun disturb her? Immediately, Eva hung a dark shawl before the window, whose light curtains did not shield them from the joyous light of morning.

Then, with sonorous strokes, the clock on the wall struck five. Frau von Salden awoke.

Her first glance rested upon her daughter; her mind was still half wrapped in dreams, in the twilight of consciousness, the bliss of purest maternal love was reflected in her features. She saw that daughter, of whom she had been so long deprived, before her in all her youthful beauty which was even enhanced by anguish; delusive dreams as they escaped formed a golden frame to this picture, or as light veils fluttered over it, and, enthralled by such a lovely present, her soul knew nothing of the past or future.

Yet it was but for a moment; then a sudden ray of perfect consciousness enlightened her. She rubbed her eyes; the veils of her dreams fluttered to the ground, and with a loud cry she threw herself upon her child's bosom, whom she pressed closely to herself amidst scalding tears.

"My poor, poor Eva!"

"Mother, I am not unhappy--I will not be unhappy! I have no cares--only be cheerful yourself!"

"You love him so much, so fondly! That love, I can feel it with you, is your whole life. Oh, curse me! My presence brings you evil! Curse me!"

"Never," said Eva, "for I know that you love me. How could I curse love?"

"How poor we are though, with all our love! There where we would bring salvation, we bring ruin. Our love is like a pious wish, a powerless breath, which, hardly has it escaped our lips before it is transformed by invisible powers into a poisonous blast. I came hither with the richest treasure of blessings in my heart, although not without anxious fear; and now I shower abundant ills upon your head."

"I do not yet know what happened," whispered Eva. "I only know that I see you again, that you suffer and are unhappy, that Blanden has resigned me; but it is not I about whom we must concern ourselves just now--only about you! What has grieved you so, shocked you? I hardly dare to think--he is your enemy!"

"Not so," said Frau von Salden, shaking her head; "you poor, good child."

"You would conceal it from me--he is your enemy! Therefore you were so afraid, when you saw him--therefore he grew so pale at sight of you! Has he done anything to injure you; has he offended you deeply? Oh, he shall come and beg for forgiveness, upon his knees he shall lie before you; I promise it! So much power my wishes still possess over him--oh, yes, he loves me still; how could his love have vanished in one night! I will tell him that whosoever has offended my mother has no right to my love, that he must first win it by atonement and her pardon. I am still his little forest-fairy; he is still within my magic spell; when my little flower bells ring, let him struggle as he may, he must obey me! But when he comes and renounces his enmity and entreats you for pardon, little mother, then you will grant it him, will you not, perfectly, entirely, without any remains of the old ill-feeling?"

"You are dreaming," said Frau Salden, while she stared with a confused gaze at her daughter's countenance, and stroked her hair with a loving hand.

"You doubt that I still retain my power over him? Oh, I may look very ugly today, quite spoiled with tears; I am not always so, little mother, he knows that I have my good days, too. He thought me good-looking yonder upon the weeping willow-hill! Oh, heavens! The weeping willows bent down over our young love whispering misfortune, but you will talk to one another, of course! Everything will yet turn out well! Oh, those days were so beautiful, so ethereally beautiful! Have mercy, my mother! If it costs you one word to bring them back again, then speak that word; even if it be hard for you. I may acknowledge that great happiness for me depends upon it; control your anger!"

Frau Salden looked at her child with intense emotion.

"It is not that--if it only were so! Nothing would be too hard for me--no word, no deed--if I could found your happiness by them! But that power is not given to me; therefore we are both unhappy! But now go to sleep, my Eva! I am well; I will get up; but you have not closed an eye! How pale you look--where are the roses which yesterday bloomed so freshly in your cheeks? Go to sleep, only for a few hours--it will bring peace, rest, and courage! Who could endure life without sleep? It would be an uninterrupted agony; all pictures would score their burning impress in our brains. Sleep shrouds them beneath the softening veil, and we can confound them with our dreams."

"No, mother! that I can never do! If it were all but a dream my soul would still bleed to death from it."

Frau Salden had risen from her bed; she felt really better; only the internal conflict still remained imprinted in her features.

With unenvious pleasure, Eva contemplated her mother, as she sat before the mirror, in order to arrange her hair flowing down abundantly; she thought herself less beautiful, less bountifully endowed by Nature, than was the mother over whom years had passed tracelessly away; could she compete with that splendid figure, with that nobility, those decided movements, that charm of her fully-developed form?

She could not help it; she must fold her mother to her heart with words of glowing flattery.

Frau Salden struggled gently against the love of a child, for whom she had just prepared the greatest anguish of its life.

"Go to sleep, Eva," repeated she, with motherly anxiety.

"Sleep--it would be best! I cannot conceive that I could look with waking eyes at the people before whom I stood yesterday in such utter abasement. It would be impossible for me to show myself here to the gaping crowd. I must away, away from here; but I cannot part from you with this enigma unsolved. Mother! I implore you, give me certainty--I have courage to bear all."

"And you do not ask if I have courage to confess all?"

"Mother!" cried Eva, doubting and questioning, with the terror of presentiment.

"If it were so easy to lift the veil, should I not have raised it long since? If any happiness, any comfort could arise from it, should I hesitate with such a disclosure?"

"I would have the truth, mother--the truth! In positive certainty I shall recover my strength of mind, which is paralysed in this gnawing doubt."

Frau Salden rose from her toilet; the morning sun shone straight upon her face, she covered it with her hands; then she turned round, but a burning colour rested upon her features, and an internal tremor shook her form as if with ague.

"I belong to that community which was scattered by the law of the country; one of the rules of that sect demands full confession of our sins, by thought, word, or deed! It was often hard for us to make this confession before the Saints and Pure ones, and not to conceal aught of that which stirred our inmost souls; often have I stood there hesitating and seeking to veil that which I dared not confess, until the implacable word compelled me to acknowledge the whole truth without any fraudulent disguise; yet, what was that confession compared with the one of to-day--compared with the one by which the mother must ruin her daughter's happiness?"

"With clasped hands Eva looked imploringly at her mother.

"Well, then, bury your head in my lap; do not look at me; believe that it is the Angel of Judgment who speaks, who holds the rattling scales high above your head."

Eva knelt down before her mother, and leaned her head in her mother's lap.

"I do not hate Herr von Blanden--never have hated him--but I have loved him."

Noiselessly Eva slid down at her mother's feet. Only after some little time she recovered her senses in her parent's arms.

"I have loved him," repeated the mother, "and that is worse, far worse!"

"And you love him still?" asked Eva, "and you are angry with me that I would rob you of him? but he--how could he--"

"Listen to me, my child! We were both members of a devout community, misjudged by the world; this brought us closer together. A decision in council of the Superiors destined me for his spiritual bride!"

"Spiritual bride!--oh, my God!"

"That in our circle is deemed a bond, which is bound for all eternity!"

"And is not every bride a spiritual one, and every bond united for everlasting endurance?"

"The secret understanding of such matters is only revealed to the elect! But the mutual delights of devotion, the strengthening of the Divine Will in us, with the increasing danger of probation, all these exercises did not find us so strong as the faith and the prayers of the community required! Earthly affection took possession of our hearts. I offered weak resistance to his tempestuous passion. Let the dreadful word suffice you--I loved him."

Eva suppressed a loud cry, with lips firmly pressed together, and buried her head deeper in the folds of the dress.

"I was doubly guilty, because the holy work had led us to damnation. The penance inflicted for such impiety was lighter than I feared, because the superior leader of our community, blessed with especial powers of enlightenment, undertook to sanctify me, and I could soon stand purified from that sin. Now only the heavy punishment comes upon me, crushingly, annihilatingly. Too mild was the work of that atonement. Heaven has rejected it. I feel it, and now it dooms me to the full weight of its wrath. In deepest degradation I must humble myself before my own daughter, in order to destroy the happiness of whose life the spectre hand of that unholy, blissful hour is stretched forth from out the past. Forgive me, my beloved child!"

Eva rose pale, dissolved in tears, and put out her hand, as if in repudiation.

"I have nothing to forgive you, mother! I do not exalt myself so impiously as to wish to sit in judgment upon you. I could not but love you even unto death.--and you are not guilty! Oh, no--that you are not!"

"Guilty towards you," said Frau Salden, wringing her hands.

"None know what the future may bring," replied Eva; "it cannot be foretold. Human destiny is like a fleeting cloud: now it gleams in the full light of the sun at its mid-day height, or in the varying colours of its declining hour; then it flows down in tears. Many die in the bloom of youth; death is a doom; there is a death, too, for the heart. It comes, one knows not whence. It is not our fault. Mother, be calm! We have the same eyes, the same heart; must we not also have the same love?"

Eva looked out of the window, unwonted sublimity lay in her demeanour.

"Look; how the waves roll, and break upon the shore! Each one bears the rays of the same sun within it; now they spring exultingly in whirling foam, then die away upon the desolate strand! Mother, we are both wretched!"

And she hastened back and clasped Frau Salden to her heart, who gazed in fear at her daughter's excited manner.