"When I went to school," said the Red Knight, "I was particularly good at Riddles, Reverence and Rithmetic."
"I've studied arithmetic in school and played riddles after school," said Alice, "but I don't know what you mean by Reverence."
"I'm surprised," said the Red Knight. "Reverence means doing honor to great men. For instance, when I look at myself and am reminded of Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, Napoleon, Mark Twain, Admiral Peary, and Joan of Arc, that means reverence. But perhaps you'd rather have me ask you riddles?"
"I think I should," said Alice.
"Very well. What's the difference between a Southern postmaster in 1908 and a Southern postmaster in 1912?"
"I'm sure I don't know," said Alice. "What is it?"
"I give it up," said the Red Knight.
"What a queer way of asking riddles!" said Alice.
"Not at all," said the Red Knight. "What's the difference between taking a canal from Colombia and taking candy from a child?"
"I never did understand politics," said Alice. "What is it?"
"I give it up," said the Red Knight.
"Oh, pshaw," said Alice. "Please do be sensible."
"I am sensible," said the Red Knight. "Why is George W. Perkins like the voice of the people?"
"Well, why?"
"I give it up," said the Red Knight.
"But that's too absurd for anything," said Alice. "If you like to tease people, please find some one else to tease."
She walked away to one side, quite angry, and began to play with the daisies in her new spring hat. The Red Knight sat down on the river's edge and broke out crying. He wept so bitterly that Alice felt sorry for him. She came back to where he sat and said: "I'm awfully sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." But the Red Knight only went on weeping.
"Please, do stop crying," said Alice. "Take out your handkerchief and wipe your eyes; come now."
"I can't," said the Red Knight. "I had my handkerchief in my hat, and my hat is in the ring," and he sobbed as if his heart would break.
So Alice took out her own handkerchief and wiped his streaming eyes, but still he would not stop. Then, to quiet him, she said: "But you said you were good at arithmetic."
"Oh, I am," said the Red Knight, and his face grew quite radiant. "Have you ever figured out how many Governors have come out for me?"
"No," said Alice.
"Well," said the Red Knight, "there's the Governor of New Hampshire, and the Governor of West Virginia, that makes two; and the Governor of New Hampshire, that makes—"
"But you counted the Governor of New Hampshire," said Alice.
"Only once," said the Red Knight. "People say that the Governor of New Hampshire is of two minds about me—that means twice, doesn't it?"
"Does it?" said Alice.
"Of course it does," said the Red Knight. "Then there is Kansas, which makes five, and Nebraska, which makes eleven, and California, which makes twenty-four, and New Mexico, which makes thirty-seven out of a total of forty-eight Governors."
"I don't see how you figure that out at all," said Alice.
"I do it by long addition," said the Red Knight.