The two armies were now face to face, and the Red Knight gathered his staff about him for a few final words of exhortation.
"Remember, men," he said. "Victory is assured. On our side are all the honest men. Against us are all the thieves. We need only win forty of them over to our side and the battle is ours."
Alice thought that was rather strange tactics, but she said nothing. She gazed with admiration at the Red Knight. He was resplendent in a new suit of armour fashioned out of lithographed photographs of Abraham Lincoln. From his helmet fluttered a copy of the Declaration of the Rights of Man. In his right hand he held a copy of Magna Charta, and with the left he waved aloft one of the Harvester's fattest checkbooks. A mighty cheer broke from the multitude, but the Red Knight commanded silence.
"As you go into battle," he went on, "ask yourself this: Can the practitioners of theft and burglary triumph over the forces of righteousness?"
"Never!" shouted the Publisher, like the hero in one of his own magazines.
"Don't be an ass, Frank," said the Red Knight. "Of course they always do, except when I am here to lead the forces of righteousness. That makes all the difference in the world."
Alice thought she had never seen him in such a logical frame of mind. The men about him felt exactly the same way.
The Red Knight went on: "The principal thing when you take up arms is to know what you are fighting for. Do all of you know what you are after?"
"We do!" they cried in chorus. Conviction was stamped on every face.
"That is very good," said the Red Knight. "So do I. Now we come to our plan of attack. It is very simple. I shall lead flanking parties against the enemy's right and left wing and head a furious charge against the centre. A small detachment of picked men under my personal command will go out in advance and feel out the enemy. As for the rear guard and train that shall be my own concern. Between operations I shall write full account of the battle for several newspaper syndicates with which I have signed contracts. Is there anything I have overlooked?"
It was the Forester who spoke up. "There's the band music for the triumphal return from Chicago."
The Red Knight smiled indulgently. "That is already composed and orchestrated. I may revise it a bit while I am dictating terms to the enemy. So that is all. You may go, gentlemen."
"But how about me?" said Alice, of whose presence the Red Knight had been quite oblivious. Her feelings were hurt, and she was on the point of crying.
"Why, sure enough, there you are, Alice," said the Red Knight. "I think you had better go to the rear till it's all over. The fight may last till ten o'clock, and that's no hour for one of your age to be out of bed."
"I will never leave you!" cried Alice. "Under no circumstances. There's no one else like you in the whole world."
The Red Knight smiled and stroked her hair. "Very well, then. I'll tell you what we'll do. You don't ride a horse, do you?"
"I never learned," she said.
"It doesn't matter," said the Red Knight. "No horse could keep up with me, anyhow. We'll get you a taxicab and you can keep right by my side."
But Alice now had her qualms. "Is it very dangerous?" she asked.
"Dangerous where I am?" laughed the Red Knight. "You'll be just as safe as in your own little bed. Nobody ever stands up against me, Alice. At the first sight of me they turn and run. That's what makes the present obstinate behavior of the enemy so peculiarly infamous."