The Augustan Reprint Society

SIR ROGER L'ESTRANGE

CITT
AND BUMPKIN

(1680)

INTRODUCTION

BY

B. J. RAHN

PUBLICATION NUMBER 117

WILLIAM ANDREWS CLARK MEMORIAL LIBRARY

University of California, Los Angeles

1965

GENERAL EDITORS

Earl Miner, University of California, Angeles

Maximillian E. Novak, University of California, Los Angeles

Lawrence Clark Powell, Wm. Andrews Clark Memorial Library

ADVISORY EDITORS

Richard C. Boys, University of Michigan

John Butt, University of Edinburgh

James L. Clifford, Columbia University

Ralph Cohen, University of California, Los Angeles

Vinton A. Dearing, University of California, Los Angeles

Arthur Friedman, University of Chicago

Louis A. Landa, Princeton University

Samuel H. Monk, University of Minnesota

Everett T. Moore, University of California, Los Angeles

James Sutherland, University College, London

H. T. Swedenberg, Jr., University of California, Los Angeles

CORRESPONDING SECRETARY

Edna C. Davis, Wm. Andrews Clark Memorial Library

INTRODUCTION

According to discoveries made by Titus Oates in the autumn of 1678, England was threatened by a Roman Catholic conspiracy headed by the Pope and the King of France, whose objectives were: 1) to murder the King, 2) to overthrow the government, and 3) to destroy the Protestant religion. Although Oates was subsequently exposed as a charlatan, in 1678-81 a panic held the nation in an iron grip, and belief in the Plot fostered irrational and reprehensible excesses. The Popish Plot was not so much a religious fraud as a political cause célèbre, the significance of which can be assessed only in the context of the republican movement of the seventeenth century to redistribute power within the state. The conflict which developed between Charles II and the Parliament during the 1670's reflects the struggle for ascendance of two opposing theories of government: absolute versus limited monarchy. Charles, supported by the Tories and the Anglican clergy, was determined to maintain all the hereditary privileges and powers of an English monarch, while the Whig coalition in Parliament, led by the Earl of Shaftesbury, was intent upon subordinating the power of the Crown to the will of Parliament. The Opposition realized almost immediately that in the Popish Plot lay means for furthering their schemes of political reform. Under the guise of counteracting the Plot, they hoped to enact legislation to: 1) increase parliamentary power, 2) limit the prerogatives of the King, 3) control the succession, and 4) curtail the influence of the prelacy. Published in 1680 when the Plot crisis was at its peak, Citt and Bumpkin is one of a series of pamphlets by Sir Roger L'Estrange written to support the policies of Charles II and to defend the government from attacks by the Whig Opposition.

Since James, Duke of York, had given the Whigs every reason to believe that he would oppose their policies vehemently after he came to the throne, they decided to take advantage of the public resentment against him as a Roman Catholic to try to pass a bill in Parliament to exclude him from the succession. James had already been accused of conspiring with the French King to overthrow Protestantism in England and institute Roman Catholicism as the state religion. In addition to reiterating this charge, the Whigs enlarged upon the awkwardness and danger bound to arise in a Protestant nation with a Roman Catholic ruler. The question of a Popish successor soon came to be the principal concern of Parliament, and the battle over the Exclusion Bill dominated the political scene in 1679-81. While the Exclusion crisis was at its height, Charles II circumvented this plan to deprive the Duke of York of his hereditary title by repeatedly proroguing and dissolving Parliament so that the bill could not be brought to a final vote. This series of adjournments began when Charles dissolved the Parliament soon after the Exclusion Bill was first introduced in the spring of 1679. After a bitterly fought election contest during the summer of 1679, the newly constituted Parliament assembled in October only to be prorogued once again until 26 January 1680. The Whigs were furious and began to fear that the King had no intention of permitting the Parliament to meet even in January. Powerless to act legally out of Parliament, the Whigs realized that a long series of postponements would lead to the defeat of all their carefully drafted legislative plans. To combat Charles' delaying tactics, the Opposition hit upon the expedient of petitioning him to allow Parliament to sit. By a strong demonstration of popular will, they hoped to force the King to comply with their demands.

Under the leadership of Shaftesbury and his followers in the Green Ribbon Club, the Whigs achieved a degree of party organization and efficiency in the autumn and winter of 1679-80 which remained unrivalled during the seventeenth century.[1] While petitions were being printed in London, the country was divided into districts; then petitions were distributed to party agents everywhere who systematically canvassed for signatures. In London, blank petitions were conveniently placed in coffee houses and taverns; pens and inkstands appeared in the Strand and at the Royal Exchange. Since these petitions were designed as instruments to convey the will of the masses, emphasis was placed on collecting large numbers of signatures with scant concern for the political, economic, or social status of the subscribers. According to the Tory historian Roger North, the people were warned by the promoters of the petitions that, if the King were allowed to govern without a Parliament, despotism would inevitably ensue, followed by a resurgence of Popery.[2] Frightened, and in some cases confused by these formidable predictions and threats, many people (especially in the country) subscribed. After the canvassing had been completed, the petitions were sent to London for presentation to the King.

The petitions themselves were phrased inoffensively enough, stressing the fact that the Popish Plot had created a state of national emergency and requesting that Parliament be called to deal with this danger. The first petition, The Humble Address and Advice of several of the Peeres of this Realm For the Sitting of the Parliament, was presented to the King at Whitehall on 7 December by ten Whig peers. Charles accepted the petition and dismissed them. But he could not dismiss the rumors of countless other petitions in preparation and the unavoidable disturbance such an onslaught would produce. Since the petitions were not promoted through official channels, and since there was evidence that they were designed to create tumult for seditious ends, Charles denounced them as illegal. Moreover, on 11 December the King issued a Royal Proclamation forbidding seditious and tumultuous petitioning. The effects of the Proclamation were twofold. The Tories, who objected to petitioning as a popular movement carried on by men without substance or position, received the Proclamation everywhere as an expression of the King's disapproval, and cited it as an authority to discourage others from promoting and subscribing to petitions. The Whigs, on the other hand, protested that petitioning was the legal right of the subject and resumed their petitioning activities with added vigor.

In order to demonstrate his firm resolve not to be intimidated in the exercise of his prerogative to call and dismiss Parliament, and in order to rob the petitioning movement of its impetus by destroying its immediate objective, Charles issued a second Proclamation on 11 December proroguing Parliament from 26 January to 11 November 1680. Spurred on by the realization that so long a recess would utterly ruin their hopes, the Whigs directed considerable effort toward promoting an official petition from the City of London.[3] Because of the power and prestige of the City, the Whigs felt that such a petition would lend encouragement to those being prepared in the country. Accordingly, they arranged to present a petition from the City of London for a vote in the Common Council on 20 January. The King deliberately attempted to frustrate the London petition by purging the City Council of disaffected members through enforcement of the Act for Regulating Corporations. This Act disqualified all Dissenters, who usually held Whig principles. Consequently, by the time the petition was brought to a vote, the Tories had gained enough support to defeat the referendum by a small margin. Although this ballot was won in effect only by the votes of the Court of Aldermen, it was accounted a great victory for the Court Party and left the Whigs sorely disappointed.

The peak of petitioning activity occurred during the month of January, and the atmosphere became increasingly more tense as the day approached upon which Parliament was supposed to meet. The week following the Common Council's rejection of the London petition was the most strained. Petitions continued to appear daily, though the King received them with marked disfavor and sharply rebuked the delegates who delivered them. When Monday, 26 January, finally arrived, the air was charged with excitement; everyone crowded to Westminster to see what would happen. But Charles had no intention of capitulating. As soon as the Lords and Commons were assembled, the King addressed them, reaffirming his determination to prorogue them and implying that the recent petitions had served only to strengthen his resolve. The Whigs complained bitterly but offered no open resistance. Charles had won the day and emerged with his prerogative untarnished but not unchallenged. Shortly after this coup, a counter reaction to petitioning set in, and a wave of loyalty gained momentum and found expression in the form of abhorrence addresses which poured in from all over the kingdom condemning the practice of petitioning and professing loyalty to King and Court.

A fortnight after the prorogation of Parliament, just before the tide of abhorrence addresses began to inundate the capital, on 10 February, Narcissus Luttrell (indefatigable collector of Popish Plot ephemera) recorded possession of the most important pamphlet written about petitioning—Sir Roger L'Estrange's Citt and Bumpkin. Whether the date which Luttrell gives represents the day of publication as well as the day of purchase is a matter of conjecture, but his note does establish the fact that the pamphlet was available to the public and in Luttrell's hands by 10 February. Corroboration that the pamphlet was in circulation before the end of February comes also from L'Estrange's bookseller Henry Brome, who first advertised Citt and Bumpkin for sale as already published in a list of pamphlets dated 27 February. On 5 March in the Popish Courant, a companion sheet to The Weekly Pacquet of Advice from Rome, a violently anti-Papist newspaper in which L'Estrange was frequently traduced, Henry Care condemned Citt and Bumpkin in a list of Catholic libels, "All publisht within little more than this fortnight." Although less precise than Luttrell's note, the references by Brome and Care help confirm the hypothesis that Citt and Bumpkin was published by mid-February. Further evidence which helps to define the date of publication occurs within the text of the pamphlet itself. On page 24, L'Estrange mentions Henry Care's History of the Damnable Popish Plot and says it appeared on 26 January. This date in turn is verified by two advertisements for the work in Care's own journal—one on 23 January announcing its impending release, and another on 30 January commenting on its recent publication. Since Citt and Bumpkin obviously appeared after Care's tract was released and before Luttrell's entry was made, it must have been published during the fortnight between 26 January and 10 February.

Citt and Bumpkin was not only the best written pamphlet on petitioning, it was also the most ambitious in scope. Arranging his material artfully, L'Estrange presented it with the wit and skill that demonstrate unequivocably his mastery of the polemic medium. Unlike most other party writers who confined their efforts to a few folio pages, L'Estrange sustained his performance through 38 quarto leaves of readable, entertaining prose. Moreover, his objectives and arguments were much more comprehensive and sophisticated than those of the other pamphleteers engaged in the controversy over petitioning. Most Tory writers treated petitioning as an isolated issue and directed their attack accordingly, failing to relate any of their arguments to each other or to a larger scheme. Many authors attempted to defeat petitioning by identifying the petitions of 1680 with those of the 1640's leading up to the Civil War. In addition, some insisted that petitioning was illegal and defended the Proclamation against it, while others tried to discredit the organizers and promoters of petitions as disaffected persons motivated by hopes of preferment and profit. At the same time, they launched a collateral attack upon those members of Parliament who actively encouraged petitioning. There was even a general indictment of Parliament as a whole, suggesting that it intended to usurp the King's prerogatives and take sovereignty upon itself. But there was no definite, direct statement that a plot led by the petition managers was actually underway to subvert the government. In Citt and Bumpkin L'Estrange accused the republicans and Dissenters of actively promoting a Protestant Plot more insidious than the Popish Plot but with identical goals: 1) to kill the King, 2) to undermine the government, and 3) to destroy the established Church of England. Throughout the pamphlet, which is an exposé of this alleged conspiracy, L'Estrange supplied a great deal of specific factual detail upholding his claims. His objective was not merely to discredit petitioning, but to lessen belief in the Popish Plot and to launch a counterattack against the enemies of the Court. By indicating that petitioning was not an end in itself but an integral part of a larger plan, L'Estrange managed to censure petitioning per se, to increase its odium by linking it with the greater disaster of rebellion and civil war, and yet to preserve a sense of proportion by directing the brunt of his attack against the Protestant Plot as a whole.

Although it is cast in the form of an ironic dialogue, Citt and Bumpkin has much in common with a dramatic skit. L'Estrange sketches the setting, develops the characterization, provides realistic conversation, and builds dramatic tension to a climax (or turning point in the action), which is followed by a falling off of tension or dénouement. As if to make the reading of parts easier, the speeches of the characters are set in different type faces. L'Estrange even provides stage directions and indicates action in the speeches of the characters. Like many dramas, Citt and Bumpkin begins in medias res and draws the reader immediately into the action. In a very natural fashion, the subject of the conversation is defined and the scene is set within the first four lines. The sense of setting is never destroyed, for L'Estrange unobtrusively sustains it by occasional specific but natural references to it in the course of the conversation.

The dialogue between Citt and Bumpkin takes place during a casual encounter in a tavern, where the two fall to discussing religion and politics over a cup of ale. As their names suggest, Citt and Bumpkin represent a sophisticated London citizen and a naive country bumpkin. While they are not fully realized dramatic characters, neither are they mere bloodless stick figures. During the course of their conversation, they reveal information about their personalities, their social and economic status, their political affiliations, their religious sympathies, their moral values, and their occupations. One learns from Citt that he is an ex-felon who is employed as a party agent by a political organization plotting to overthrow the government and undermine the Church of England. Motivated only by ambition and avarice, Citt is a completely immoral man who openly endorses a policy of expediency, and who condones any act—no matter how evil—because he believes that the end always justifies the means. As befits a partner in crime, Bumpkin is Citt's Doppelgänger in many ways. The essential differences are those of experience and intelligence. Bumpkin is only slightly less immoral and unscrupulous than Citt, but he is just as hypocritical, lawless, and untruthful. As the two discuss how they promoted petitions in the city and the country, Citt and Bumpkin admit to all sorts of treacherous and Fraudulent practices. In addition, they reveal the goals, the methods, the leaders, the strength, and the immorality of the Protestant Plot. Ironically, they unintentionally expose themselves and the Plot to the reader's censure; for, although the characters seem to be oblivious to the immorality of their behavior, the reader is not so insensitive. The reader contrasts their ethics and conduct with ideal values, rejects their code as immoral, and carries his judgment of the characters over into the real world to condemn the petitioners as republican plotters.

To reinforce this ironic self-indictment by Citt and Bumpkin, L'Estrange introduces a third character, Trueman, who enters like a deus ex machina to represent the abstract forces of truth, justice, and morality—albeit with a Tory bias. Because he functions as an abstract symbol in contrast with Citt and Bumpkin, who are very much of this world, Trueman has a personality uncomplicated by any psychological subtleties or idiosyncrasies which would emphasize his humanity. The entrance of Trueman may well be regarded as the climax of this little drama, for the plot unfolds gradually and dramatic tension builds to the point of his intrusion, when the course of action is interrupted and diverted in another direction by his arguments. Taking up the topics previously discussed by Citt and Bumpkin while he was concealed in a nearby closet, Trueman confronts them with their confessed treachery, denounces their chicanery and folly, and refutes their political views with Tory arguments. The fact that Trueman symbolizes extrahuman moral forces lends authority to his defense of absolute monarchy and the established Church.

Couched in an authentic colloquial style, the dialogue between Citt and Bumpkin progresses in an entirely natural, credible manner. Their conversation is animated, colorful, humorous, informative, and purposeful. The direction of the conversation is logically dictated by its substance; there is nothing artificial, contrived, or foreordained about it. The interaction of personality is reflected in the verbal exchange. As in a play, the development of the action depends upon each character's immediate and genuine response to the statements made by the other dramatis personae. Again, as in the theater, dramatic tension is created as the plot unfolds and the reader waits to see what will happen next. Except for one passage of extended quotation (pp. 32-33), the dramatic realism is sustained effortlessly.

Although Citt and Bumpkin was the first of L'Estrange's Popish Plot pamphlets written in dialogue, he was thoroughly familiar with the form and had often employed it in his polemic skirmishes during the Civil War. In fact, L'Estrange found the genre so congenial that he chose to write his famous newspaper The Observator (1681-87) in dialogue. This literary device, employed by hack writers, controversialists, and eminent littérateurs, was extremely popular in England between 1660 and 1700 and was used to conspicuous advantage for discussing issues of momentary importance as well as serious philosophical questions. According to Eugene R. Purpus in his study of the "Dialogue in English Literature, 1660-1725," few other literary forms had such universal and continual appeal.[4] In an age when the drama was the reigning literary fashion, the dialogue naturally enough had a concomitant vogue. Its popularity is attested to by the large number of dialoguists as well as by the bulk of their writing. As Purpus notes, party writers quickly discovered that this genre was an excellent vehicle for presenting highly controversial ideas and forceful arguments.

During the Restoration, there were no rigid conventions governing the genre, and any work passed as a dialogue which represented a conversation between two or more persons or which was organized in a question-and-answer manner.[5] Frequently, dialogues resembled an interrogation or a catechism rather than natural discourse between real human beings. Often writers of such artificial dialogues abandoned any attempt at characterization or conversational verisimilitude, merely substituting "Q." and "A." to indicate a series of queries and responses. Sometimes authors identified the speakers with proper names but made no effort at actual characterization. Concern for dramatic realism varied from writer to writer; and all too often, improbable puppet-like creatures were represented in illogical, unbelievable, and contrived conversations. The artistic integrity of a successful dialogue, however, lies in the dramatic exchange of differing points of view or the interplay of opposing arguments in realistic conversation between credible characters with clearly differentiated personalities.

The stilted, artificial quality of some dialogues is in part attributable to the fact that many writers turned to the genre as a facile means of expressing a particular point of view.[6] As Purpus observes, the inherent dramatic quality of the form is lost if: 1) the writer substitutes invective, prejudice, and railing for realistic conversation, and/or 2) the author obviously contrives the dialogue merely to reflect his particular bias on a given question. On the other hand, although some writers used the form as a convenient frame on which to display their opinions, other writers erred by including too much dramatic machinery. Dialogues of this sort almost became short dramas.

No matter what the content or objective purpose of dialogues, however, they were uniformly written in what became known after the Restoration as the "plain, easy, and familiar" style.[7] Sentences were more conveniently broken up than heretofore, and there was increased lightness of tone. Though there was still a great deal of invective, Hugh Macdonald notes in "Banter in English Controversial Prose after the Restoration," that banter became prominent in the literature of disputation after 1660. On the other hand, "No one would expect to find a clear-cut division between banter, satire, sarcasm, burlesque, and abuse in every passage of a book written in the seventeenth century."[8] As Mr. Macdonald states, it is largely a question of emphasis. Employing a great deal of banter, Marvell reintroduced a tradition forgotten since the Marprelate tracts—that of treating a grave subject lightly yet with serious intention of reinforcing the argument. Restoration polemicists, with L'Estrange in the vanguard, quickly realized the advantages of this technique and claimed it as their own.

Citt and Bumpkin survives close scrutiny according to the critical criteria for evaluating dialogues suggested by Purpus and Macdonald. Although L'Estrange does use the genre for a specific controversial end, he does not lapse into a barren question-and-answer type of organization nor into that of an artificial didactic catechism. While he sketches a setting, develops characterization, and creates believable conversation, L'Estrange does not err in the direction of over-dramatization either. He provides all the requisite machinery to support the dramatic realism necessary in a successful dialogue, but he goes no further. Throughout Citt and Bumpkin, L'Estrange maintains the appropriate "plain, easy and familiar" style. The sentence structure is simple, and clauses are well punctuated. Abounding with colloquial expressions, contractions, and slang, the vocabulary is common and especially suited to the low characters. A bantering tone predominates, accompanied by passages employing irony, satire, and invective. There is not enough invective, however, to destroy the mood. If L'Estrange's Tory bias is perfectly evident, it is not aggressive enough to prevent the accomplishment of his polemic objectives. Although the republican political theories of the Whigs are attacked satirically in the first part of Citt and Bumpkin, they are stated and refuted in proper controversial style in the final pages of the pamphlet. On the whole, Citt and Bumpkin conforms to the conventions of a successful dialogue; where it does not, the infringements are not great enough to destroy its artistic integrity.

Citt and Bumpkin's popularity was indisputable. Of all the pamphlets about petitioning, it was by far the most widely read. It went into four editions by June 1680 and a fifth in 1681. Although there were no substantive changes in the various editions, the type was reset each time, so implying a continuing demand for the pamphlet. Indeed, the contemporary response was so overwhelming that within six weeks L'Estrange wrote a sequel entitled, Citt and Bumpkin, The Second Part; Or, A Learned Discourse upon Swearing and Lying. In addition, there were many references in the Whig press denigrating L'Estrange and his pamphlet; derogatory remarks appeared in newspapers, ballads, and poems. In particular, three pamphlets were issued, replying directly to Citt and Bumpkin and attacking L'Estrange personally. The first and most considerable of these rejoinders appeared on 16 March, a month after the publication of Citt and Bumpkin, when its effect was being fully realized and the need felt to combat it.

A Dialogue Between Tom and Dick Over a Dish of Coffee Concerning Matters of Religion and Government, issued also as Crack-fart and Tony; Or, Knave and Fool,[9] is a parody following closely the format and arguments of Citt and Bumpkin. Having appropriated the framework employed by L'Estrange, the author of Tom and Dick adjusted it by a series of simple substitutions from an attack on the Protestant Plot, Dissenters, Schism, and republicans, to an assault on the Popish Plot, Papists, Roman Catholicism, and loyalists. The parallels in setting and characterization are established immediately, when Tom and Dick meet in a coffee house and agree to hold a conversation in which Tom will speak, write, invent, and hold forth as Citt had done, while Dick will hear, believe, and speak in his turn (but to little purpose) like Bumpkin. The parody breaks down, however, when one compares Trueman with Goodman, who endorses Trueman's arguments rather than misrepresenting or opposing them. Nor does Goodman observe Trueman's scrupulous care in replying to all the issues raised by the other two characters. Throughout the dialogue, the author manages to maintain dramatic realism and to sustain a mock-serious tone in the absurd-but-credible verbal exchange between his two buffoons.

The second rebuttal was released three months later on 14 June. Signed E. P. (possibly Edward Phillips), The Dialogue Betwixt Cit and Bumpkin Answered replies not only to Citt and Bumpkin, but reflects upon several other polemic tracts by L'Estrange, and attacks him ad hominem from beginning to end. A long prefatory letter discussing the powers and privileges of city corporations and the faults of L'Estrange's Popery in Masquerade precedes the dialogue, which preserves the same general format and style of its target. The roles of the characters are only roughly analogous, however, and the development of the argument is retarded and obscured by the abuse of L'Estrange. All too often, the argument is neither pertinent nor incisive. Unfortunately, E. P. lacks all the vitality, wit, and imagination of his polemic adversary. Incensed by E. P.'s scurrility, L'Estrange replied within three days to all of his charges in A Short Answer to a Whole Litter of Libels.

Although it does not appear in Luttrell's Popish Plot Catalogues, the third reply to Citt and Bumpkin, Crack upon Crack: Or, Crack-Fart Whipt with his own Rod, by Citt and Bumpkin, can be dated approximately upon the basis of internal evidence. References to L'Estrange's flight to escape a sham plot against him in October, 1680, imply a late autumn publication date. Purporting to answer both parts of Citt and Bumpkin, this pamphlet does not deal with any of the arguments raised in either work. The author abandons any attempt at parody, and instead borrows details of setting from the popular Letter from Legorn pamphlets which appeared that year. The characters pursue the absconded Trueman (i.e., L'Estrange) aboard a Mahometan (i.e., Papist) ship and lure him ashore in order to seek revenge for their recent humiliation at his hands. The dialogue contains four pages of unimaginative abuse of Trueman which culminates in his drubbing by Citt and Bumpkin. Largely scatological, this uninspired attack upon L'Estrange does not strike a single telling blow against Citt and Bumpkin.

In fact, Citt and Bumpkin enjoyed unqualified success despite the best efforts of its various detractors. And its popularity was well deserved. Appearing just when the unrest over petitioning was at its height, Citt and Bumpkin captured the interest and imagination of the public with its cogent argument and witty satire.

NOTES

[1] J. R. Jones, The First Whigs (London, 1961), p. 117; Roger North, Examen, or an Enquiry into the Credit and Veracity of a Pretended Complete History (London, 1740), p. 542.

[2] North, p. 542.

[3] Jones, pp. 119-20.

[4] Eugene R. Purpus, "The Dialogue in English Literature, 1660-1725," ELH, XVII (1950), II. 58.

[5] The information on the dialogue in this paragraph is taken from Purpus, pp. 48-49.

[6] Purpus, pp. 50-52.

[7] Purpus, p. 48; Hugh Macdonald, "Banter in English Controversial Prose after the Restoration," Essays and Studies by Members of the English Association, XXXII (1946), 21-22.

[8] Macdonald, p. 23.

[9] One of L'Estrange's opponents nicknamed him the "Crack-fart of the Nation" and the epithet stuck to him for years.

Text

The text of Citt and Bumpkin here reprinted is the copy in the William Andrews Clark Memorial Library.

CITT

AND

BUMPKIN.

IN A

DIALOGUE

OVER

A Pot of Ale,

CONCERNING

MATTERS

OF

RELIGION

AND

GOVERNMENT.

LONDON,

Printed for Henry Brome at the Gun in S. Pauls

Church-yard, 1680.

Citt and Bumkin,

In a DIALOGUE, &c.

Citt. So that you would know, First, how we manag'd the Petition; and Secondly, how it came to miscarry.

Bum. Those are the two Points, Citt, but first take off your Pot, and then tell your Story; you shall have mine afterward.

Committees to promote the Petitions.

Citt. There was no way, you must know, to carry the business clear, without getting a Vote of Common-Council for the Petition; and so making it an Act of the City: And in order to this End, we planted our Committees every where up and down, from Algate to Temple-barr, at convenient distances; some few of them in Taverns but most at Coffee-houses; as less liable to suspition. Now we did not call these Meetings, Committees, but Clubs; and there we had all Freedom both for Privacy and Debate: while the Borough of Southwark, Westminster, and the Suburbs, proceeded according to our Method.

Bum. And what were these Committees now to do?

Their Powers and Instructions.

Citt. Their Commission was to procure Subscriptions, to justify the Right of Petitioning, and to gain Intelligence: And then every Committee had one man at least in it that wrote short-hand.

Bum. Well, and what was he to do?

Citt. It was his part to go smoking up and down from One Company to another, to see who was for us, and who against us: and to take Notes of what people said of the Plot, or of the Kings Witnesses, or against [this] way of Petitioning.

Bum. But how came those Committees (as ye call 'um) by their Commissions?

Two Grand Committees.

Citt. For that, let me tell you, we had two Grand Committees, that adjourn'd from place to place, as they saw occasion: But they met most commonly at Two Coffee-houses; the One near Guild-Hall, the Other in the Strand; for you must take notice that we went on, hand in hand with our Neighbours in the Main Design.

Bum. But you do not tell me yet who set up the Other Committees.

The Office of the Grand Committees.

Citt. These two Grand Committees, I tell you, nominated and appointed the Sub-Committees, gave them their Orders, and received their Reports: It was their Office moreover to digest Discoveries, and Informations; to instruct Articles, improve Accusations, manage Controversies, defray the charge of Intelligencers, and Gatherers of hands, to dispose of Collections; to influence the Anglicus's and Domesticks, and fortify those that were weak in the Faith; to furnish matter sometimes for Narratives.——

Bum. What dost thou mean by Narratives, Citt?

Citt. They are only Strange Storys; as that of the Dragon in Essex; Earth-quakes, Sights in the Air, Prodigies, and the like.

Bum. One would think it should not be worth their while, to busy their heads about such Fooleries as these.

Stories of Prodigies startle the Common People.

Citt. Now this is thy simplicity Bumpkin, for there is not any thing that moves the hearts of the People so effectually toward the Work of the Lord, especially when the Narrative carries some Historical Remarque in the Tayl of it: As for the purpose, this or that happen'd in such a Kings Reign, and soon after such and such troubles befell the Church and State: such a Civil War, such or such a Persecution, or Invasion follow'd upon it. When the People perceive once that the Lord hath declared himself against the Nation, in these tokens of his Displeasure, the Multitude seldom fail of helping the Judgment forward.

Bum. I don't know what ye call your Committees, but Our Gentry had their Meetings too; and there was a great Lord or two among 'um that shall be Nameless.

Citt. We could shew you othergates Lords among Us, I'le assure you, then any you have; but let that passe.

Bum. You told me that your Committees were to procure Subscriptions; we were hard put to't, I'm sure, in the Country to get Hands.

The way of getting hands in and about London.

Citt. And so were we in the City Bumpkin; and if it had not been to advance the Protestant Interest, I'de have been torn to pieces by wild Horses, before I'de have done what I did. But extraordinary Cases must have extraordinary allowances. There was hardly a Register about the Town that scap'd us for Names: Bedlam, Bridewell, all the Parish-books, nay the very Goals, and Hospitalls; we had our Agents at all Publick Meetings, Court, Church, Change, all the Schools up and down; Masters underwrit for their Children, and Servants, Women for their Husbands in the West-Indies, nay we prevail'd upon some Parsons, to engage for their whole Congregations; we took in Jack Straw, Wat Tyler, and the whole Legend of Poor Robins Saints into our List of Petitioners; and the same Names serv'd us in four or five several places. And where's the hurt of all this now? So long as the Cause it self is Righteous.

Several ways of getting Hands in the Country.

Bum. Nay, the thing was well enough Citt, if we could but have gone through with it: And you shall see now that we were put to our shifts in the Country, as well as you in the City. I was employ'd you must know, to get Names at four shillings a Hundred, and I had all my Real Subscriptions written at such a distance, one from another, that I could easily clap in a Name or two betwixt 'um; and then I got as many School-boys as I could, to underwrite after the same manner, and after this, fill'd up all those spaces with Names that I either Remember'd, or Invented my self, or could get out of two or three Christning-books. There are a World (ye know) of Smiths, Browns, Clarks, Walkers, Woods, so that I furnish'd my Catalogue with a matter of Fifty a piece of these Sir-names, which I Christen'd my self. And besides, we had all the Non-conformist Ministers in the Country for us, and they brought in a power of hands.

The Protestant Dissenters great Promoters of the Petition.

Citt. What do you talk of your Non-conformists? They do but work Journey-work to Ours. We have the Heads of all the Protestant Dissenters in the Nation here in this Town, why, we have more [Religions], Bumpkin, in this City, then you have People in your whole Country.

Bum. Ay, and 'tis a great blessing too, that when Professors are at so mighty Variance among themselves, there should be so wonderfull an Agreement in the Common Cause.

Citt. And that's notably observ'd, Bumkin; for so we found it here. The Presbyterian got hands of His Party; the Independent of His; the Baptist of His; the Fifth-Monarchy man of His; and so throughout all our Divisions: and we had still the most zealous man in His way, to gather the Subscriptions: And when they had completed their Roll, they discharg'd themselves as Naturally into the Grand Committee, as Rivers into the Sea. And then we were sure of all the Republicans.

Bum. But after all this Care and Industry, how was it possible for the business to Miscarry?

Citt. Why I know 'tis laid in our dish, that when we had set the whole Kingdome agogg upon Petitioning, our hearts would not serve us to go through stitch, and so we drew our own necks out of the Collar, and left the Countries in the Lurch.

Bum. Nay that's the Truth on't, Citt; We stood all gaping for London to lead the way.

Citt. The great work that we look't upon was the gaining of a well-affected Common-Council; which we secur'd upon the Election, with all the skill, and watchfullness imaginable.

Bum. And that was a huge point Citt; but how were ye able to compasse it?

Tricks to defeat Elections.

Citt. Why we had no more to do, then to mark those that we knew were not for our turns, either as Courtiers, or Loose-livers, or half-Protestants, and their business was done.

Bum. We went the same way to work too in the Country, at all our Elections; for it is a Lawfull Policy, you know, to lessen the Reputation of an Enemy.

Citt. Nay we went further still; and set a Report a foot upon the Exchange, and all the Coffee-houses and Publique Houses thereabouts, which held from Change-time, till the very Rising of the Common-Councill, when the Petition was laid aside; that past so currant, that no mortall doubted the Truth on't.

Bum. But you ha' not told me what that Report was yet.

Citt. It was this, that the King had sent a Message to the City to let them understand that he took notice how much they stood affected to the Petition; that he expected they would proceed upon it; and that his Majesty was ready to give them a gracious Answer.

Bum. But was this fair dealing, Brother?

Citt. Did not Abraham say of Sarah, She's my Sister?

Bum. Well thou'rt a heavenly man, Citt! but come to the Miscarriage it self.

The Petition laid aside in the Common-Council.

Citt. After as Hopefull a Choice as ever was made, we procur'd a Common-Councill: where the Petition was put to the Vote, and it was carry'd in the Commons by two Voyces, for the presenting it, and by Fourteen, or Fifteen Votes in the Court of Aldermen, on the Negative.

Bum. So that your Damn'd Aldermen, and our Damn'd Justices, have ruin'd us both in City and Country.

Citt. Hang'um, they are most of them Church-Papists; but we should have dealt well enough with them, if it had not been for that confounded Act for Regulating Corporations.

Bum. Prethee let me understand that, for I know nothing on't.

The Act for Corporations brake the neck on't.

Citt. Take notice then that this Devillish Statute has provided, that no man shall serve as a Common-Councell man, but upon condition of taking three Oaths, and subscribing one Declaration, therein mention'd; and having taken the Sacrament of the Lords Supper, according to the Rites of the Church of England, within one year next before his Election. Now it so fell out, that what with this Act, and a Court-Letter for putting it in Execution, a matter of thirty of our Friends were put by, as not duly qualify'd; And upon this Pinch we lost it. Nay let me tell ye as a friend, there were at least twenty or thirty of the rest too, that would hardly have past Muster.

Bum. But is this certain?

Citt. Why I am now in my Element, Bumkin; for thou know'st my Education has been toward the Law.

Bum. This was a Plaguy jobb, Citt, but we must look better to our Hitts next bout.

Citt. Nay my life for thine we'll have another touch for't yet. But tell me in short; how came you off with your Petition in the Country?

Bum. It went on for a good while prettily well at the Quarter-Sessions; till at last one Cross-grain'd Curr there upon the Bench claw'd us all away to the Devill, and got an Order of Court against it, while you would say what's this.

Citt. But what did he say?

The Petition baffled in the Country.

Bum. Oh there was a great deal of stuff on't; the King, and the Judges (he said) had declared it to be Seditious, and so they were to take it. That they sat there to keep the Kings Peace, not to countenance the Breaking of it; and then (says he) these fellows don't know what they would have. One Petitions for Chalk, and Another for Cheese; the Petition was at first for the meeting of the Parliament; and then they came to Twit the King with his Coronation-Oath, and then, Delinquents must be brought to Punishment; and then the Parliament was to Sit as long as they pleas'd, and at last, every man must be mark'd for a Common Enemy that would not Subscribe it. So that first they would have the Parliament Sit; and then they'd cut 'um out their work; and in fine, it was little other then a Petition against those that would not Petition. He said there were Ill practices in the getting of hands, and so they threw out the Petition, and order'd an Enquiry into the Abuses.

Citt. Well, there's no remedy but Patience.

Bum. I had need of Patience I'm sure, for they're Examining the Hands allready, as hard as they can drive; You'l see me in the Gazette next Thursday, as sure as a Gun.

Citt. Why then we must play the Domestique against him, next Fryday.

Bum. Nay, I'm sure to be trounc'd for't to some tune, if I be taken.

Citt. Pre'thee what art affraid of? There's no Treason in getting hands to a Petition man.

Bum. No, that's true; but I have put in such a Lurry of Dog-Rogues; they cry they're defam'd, with a Pox, they'le have their remedy; and they make such a Bawling.

Citt. Come, come, set thy heart at rest: and know that in this City th'art in the very Sanctuary of the Well-affected. But 'tis good however to prepare for the worst, and the best (as they say) will help its self. But art thou really afraid of being taken?

Bum. And so would you be too, if you were in my condition, without a penny, or a friend in the world to help ye.

The blessing of having neither friends nor Mony.

Citt. Thou art two great Owls, Bumkin, in a very few words. First, thou hast great friends and do'st not know on't, and Secondly thou do'st not understand the Blessing, of having neither Friends, nor Money. In one word, I'll see thee provided for; and in the mean time, give me thy answer to a few questions.

I make no doubt but they that put thee into this Trust, and Employment of helping on the Petition, are men of Estate, and men well-inclin'd to the Publique Cause.

Methods of Popularity.

Bum. O, their Landlords and Masters are men of huge Estates; but 'tis the Tenants, and the Stewards that I have to do withall. But then (do you mark me) those people are all in all with their Masters.

Citt. I suppose you may be known to the Landlords and Masters themselves too. Do they ever take any notice of you?

Bum. Yes, yes; I go often to their Houses man, and they speak mighty kindly to me; and there's nothing but Honest Obadiah, and Good Obadiah at every turn; and then the Men take me into the Kitchin, or into the Cellar, or so. And let me tell you Citt, if it had not been for them once, I had been plaguyly paid off in the Spirituall Court upon a certain Occasion.

Citt. That's a very good sign of Affection to the Cause, as I told thee: and it would be never the worse if they were under a Cloud at Court; for an Honest Revenge, ye know goes a great way with a tender Conscience.

Bum. I have hear'd some Inkling that way, but we'le scatter no words.

Citt. They never speak any thing to you in private, do they? As of Grievances, (I mean) Religion, the Liberty of the Subject, and such like?

Bum. No, no, but they talk as other people do, of the Plot, and the Jesuits, and Popery, and the French King, and so.

Citt. And what is the reason now, do ye think, that you are not receiv'd into their Bed-Chambers, their Closets, into their Arms, and into their very Hearts, as well as some other people as we know?

Bum. Alas! what should they do with me? I'm not a man fit to keep them Company.

A Golden Sentence.

Citt. Why then Honest Bumpkin, here's a Golden Sentence for thee; Be Taken, Sifted, Imprison'd, Pillory'd, and stand true to thy Principles, and th'art company for the best Lord in Christendom. They'l never dare to trust thee till th' art Jayl and Pillory-proof; and the bringing of thee into a Jayl would be a greater kindness, then the fetching of Another man Out.

Bum. Prethee Cit, tell me one thing by the way, hast thou ever made Tryal of this Experiment thy self?

A Jayl is the High-way to Preferment.

Citt. To tell thee as a friend, I have try'd it, and I'm the best part of a thousand pound the better for't. 'Tis certainly the high way to preferment.

Bum. And yet for all this, Citt, I have no minde in the World to be taken.

Citt. And that's because th' art an arrant buzzard; the Lord deliver me from a fellow that has neither Mony, nor Friends, and yet's afraid of being Taken. Why 'tis the very making of many a mans Fortune to be Taken. How many men are there that give mony to be Taken, and make a Trade on't; Nay happy is the man that can but get any body to Take him. Why I tell ye, there are people that will quarrel for't, and make Friends to be Taken. 'Tis a common thing in Paris, for a man in One six Months, to start out of a Friendless, and Monyless condition, into an Equipage of Lacquays and Coaches; and all this by nicking the blessed Opportunities of being discreetly Taken.

Bum. I have heard indeed of a man that set fire to one Old House, and got as much Mony by a Brief for't, as built him two New ones.

Citt. Have not I my self heard it cast in a fellows Teeth, I was the making of you, Sirrah, though y' are so high now a body must not speak to you: You had never been Taken and clapt up, Sirrah, but for me.

Bum. Father! what Simpletons we Country-folks are to you Citizens!

Citt. Now put the case Bumpkin, that you were Taken, Examin'd and Committed, provided you stand to your Tackle, y'are a Made man already; but if you shrink in the wetting, y'are lost.

Bum. Pray'e what do you mean by standing to my Tackle?

Citt. You must be sure to keep your self upon a Guard, when y'are before the Justice; and not to be either wheedled, or frighten'd into any Discovery; for they'le be trying a thousand Tricks with you.

Bum. But may I deny any thing that's charg'd upon me, point-blank, if I be guilty of it?

A Salvo for a Lye.

Citt. Yes, in the case of self-preservation, you may; but you must be sure then that no body can disprove you; for if it be known, 'tis a Scandall, and no longer Lawfull: Your best way will be not to answer any Questions against your self.

Bum. But now you have brought me into a Goal, you would do well to tell me how I shall get out again.

The Benefits of a Prison.

Citt. Why before you turn your self thrice in your Kennell, (if Baylable) Y'are out again, upon a Habeas Corpus: But in the mean time, the Town rings of your Commitment, the Cause of it, and how bravely you carry'd it upon your Examination; all which shall be Reported to your Advantage; and by this time, y'are Celebrated for the Peoples Martyr. And now come in the Bottles, the Cold-Pies, and the Guynnies: But you must lay your finger upon your Mouth, and keep all as close as if the Fayries had brought it.

Bum. Pre'thee, Citt, wert thou ever bound Prentice to a Statesman?

Citt. No, not altogether so neither; but I serv'd a Convenient time in two of his Majesties Houses; and there I learnt My Politiques; that is to say, in Newgate, and the Gate-house; Two schools (says one) that send more wise men into the World, then the four Inns of Court. Now let your suffering be what it will, the Merit of it will be rated according to the Difficulty and hazzard of the Encounter: For there's a great difference betwixt the Venture of a Pillory, and of a Gibbet. But in what case soever; if you stand fast, and keep your Tongue in your head, you shall want neither Mony, nor Law; nor Countenance, nor Friends in the Court, nor Friends in the Jury.

Bum. Hold, hold, Citt; what if all my great Friends should deceive me at last?

Citt. They'le never dare to do that, for fear you should deceive them. I have found the Experiment of it my self, and every Term yields us fresh Instances of people that make their Fortunes in a trice, by a generous contempt of Principalities, and Powers.

Bum. Thou'rt a brave fellow Citt; but pre'thee what may thy Employment be at present, if a body may ask thee?

The Secretary to a Grand Committee.

Citt. I am at this present, Bumpkin, under the Rose, a Secretary-Extraordinary to one of the Grand Committees I told thee of; and my business is to draw up Impeachments, Informations, Articles; to lick over now and then a Narrative; and to deal with the Mercuries to publish nothing against the Interest of that Party: and in fine, there's hardly any thing stirs, but I have a finger in't. Mine is a business I can tell you, that brings in Money.

Bum. I make no doubt on't Citt: But could ye put me in a way to get a little money too?

Citt. We'l talk of that presently. You may think perhaps now the City-Petition's blown off, that our Committee will have nothing to do. But, I do assure you, businesse comes in so fast, upon us, that I shall never be able to go through it without an Assistant; and if I find you fit for't, you shall be the man.—Nay hold, let Me speak, First; do you continue the use of your Short-hand?

Bum. Yes, I do; and I have mended my Bastard-Secretary very much since you saw it.

Citt. Will you be Just, Diligent, and Secret?

Bum. I'le give you what security you'le ask, for my Truth and Diligence; and for my Secrecy, I could almost forget to speak.

Citt. That Figure pleases me; but I must shrift you further. How stands your appetite to Wine and Women?

Bum. Why truly at the rate of other flesh and blood.

Citt. 'Tis not to barr ye neither; but what Liberties ye take, let them be Private; and either to advance the Common-cause, or at spare hours.

Bum. You cannot ask or wish more then I'le do.

Citt. Only a word or two more, and then I'le let you into my affairs. What course did you propound to your self, in case your Petition had succeeded? I ask this, because you seem so much troubl'd at the Disappointment.

Other Petitions upon the Anvill.

Bum. Why if this Petition had gone on, and the Parliament had met, I was promis'd four or five Petitions more; One against Danby, and the Lords in the Tower, another for the Sitting of this Parliament, till they had gone through all they had to do; a Third, for taking away the Bishops Votes, a Fourth for the Remove of Evill Counsellours; and a Fifth for putting the Militia into Safe hands.

Citt. These points you must know, have been a long time upon the Anvill; and our Friends have Instructions all over the Kingdom, to proceed upon them to shew the Miraculous Union of the Nation. But do you think because the First Petition has receiv'd a checque, and the Parliament is Prorogu'd, that therefore the other Petitions must fall to the ground?

Bum. I cannot well see how it should be otherwise.

Citt. Why then let me tell you, Bumpkin, We'l bring the whole business about again, and carry it on, in spite of Fate: for we have better heads at work perhaps then you are aware of.

Bum. Ay, but what Hands have we Citt? for it will come to that at last.

Citt. Those Heads will find Hands, never trouble your self, if there should be occasion; but 'tis too early-days for that sport yet. 'Twas an unlucky thing however to be so surpriz'd; For our Friends did no more dream of the Sacrament, then of their Dying day.

Bum. Well there's no recalling of what's past: But the Question is how we shall avoid it for the time to come.

Citt. Nay Bumpkin, there's a Trick worth two of avoiding it, we'l Take it next bout, and then we're safe; we'l carry it; I'le undertake by fifty Voices.

Bum. But cannot the Aldermen hinder you from putting it to the Vote?

A Designe upon the Common-Council.

Citt. 'Tis the custom of the City I confess, for the Lord Mayor to Summon and dissolve Common-Councils, and to put all points to the Question; but we'l finde a cure for that too. 'Tis a thing we've been a good while about already; the bringing down the Authority of the City into the Major part of the Commons.

Bum. Now if the Mayor and Aldermen should be aware of this, they'l never endure it; but we must leave that to time. But hark ye Citt. I thought our Friends refusing of the Sacrament had been matter of Conscience.

Distinctions of Consciences.

Citt. Why so it is man, but take notice then, that you are to distinguish of Consciences: There is, First, a plain, simple Conscience, and that's a Conscience that will serve well enough to keep a man Right, if he meet with nothing else to put him out of the way. And then there's a Conscience of State, or Profit; and that Conscience yields, as a Less Weight does to a Greater; an Ounce turns the Scale, but a Pound carries the Ounce, and no body blames the Weaker for being over-power'd by the stronger. There is a Conscience of Profession too; which is a Conscience that does not so much regard the Reason of the thing, as the being True to a Party, when a man has past his Word: and this is the Conscience of a man of Honour, that fights for his Whore. There is likewise a Conscience of Religion, and that's a quiet peaceable Conscience, that rests in the Affections of the Heart, in submission to Lawfull Institutions; and in serving God, and doing Good to our Nighbour, without Noise or Ostentation.

Consciences of State or Interest.

Bum. Well, but I see a great many very Consciencious men that love to Pray and Sing Psalms next the Street, that their Neighbours may hear 'um; and go up and down shaking of their [Heads], and wringing of their Hands, crying out of the Calves of Bethel, and the High places, Popery, Prelacy, and the Common-Prayer, in such a manner, that 'twould grieve a bodies heart to see 'um.

Citt. These are Consciencious men Bumpkin, and this is the Conscience of State or Profit, that I told ye of.

Bum. Ay, but I have seen some men in Fits of the Spirit, Jump, and fling about a Pulpit so desperately, that they set the children a crying to have 'um let out. One while they'd raise themselves upon their Tip-toes, and Roar out upon a suddain, you'd have thought they had been pinch'd with Hot Irons; and then all in an Instant, they'd Dop down again, that ye could hardly see 'um; And so fall into a faint, lamenting Voice, like the Grone of a poor woman three quarters spent in Labour. Nay there was One of 'um that gap'd, and held his mouth open so long, that People cry'd out, The man has a Bone in his Throat. Those must needs be very Consciencious Men, Citt.

Citt. They are so Bumpkin, but 'tis the same Conscience still; for it works all manner of ways. We took up this Mode I suppose, from the Transports, and Grimaces of the Pagan Priests, in the Ceremony of their Sacrifices, which had a very effectual operation upon the People.

Bum. Nay Citt, these Men have a Holy way of Language too, as well as of Behaviour, for all their Talk is of Heaven, and Heavenly things, the Saints and the New Jerusalem; they deal mightily, in Expositions upon the Viols, and the Little Horn: and then they are bitterly severe against Wicked Magistrates, and those that Lord it over Gods Heritage. They are in fine a very Consciencious sort of People.

Citt. Oh beyond question so they are: But this is still a Branch of the same Conscience. I have known indeed some people so Transported with this same Talkative Holiness, that it has been a kind of Spiritual Salivation to 'um, they continue spitting when they have not one drop of Moisture left 'um in their Bodies.

Bum. Prethee Citt, tell me in Honest English, where shall a body finde the simple, and the Religious Consciences thou told'st me of?

Not many Religious Consciences.

Citt. Why every man living has the Former of 'um, but takes no notice on't: But for the Latter sort, 'tis very scarce; and you shall find more of it perhaps in one Jayle, or in one Hospital, then in all the Courts of Christendom. It is commonly the Blessing of men in years, in sicknesse, or in adversity.

Bum. Ah Citt, that I were but as capable of Learning as thou art of Teaching! Pre'thee explain thy self a little upon the Conscience of Profession too.

A Conscience of Profession.

Citt. Observe me what I say then, Bumpkin; There is a Profession, Particular, and General: Particular, as when One Cavalier serves another in a Duell, he's oblig'd to't by the Profession of a Sword-man, without Formalizing upon the Cause. There's a Conscience of Profession even among the Banditi themselves. What is it but the Profession of Presbytery, that makes the whole Party oppose Episcopacy; as the Independents do Presbytery, the Republicans, Monarchy, and the like.

Bum. Now I thought that there might have been Conscience of State, as well as of Profession in These Cases.

Citt. Thou sayst very well, Bumpkin, and so there is, and of Profit too; and it was much the same Case too, throughout the Circle of our Late Revolutions, when we Swore and Vow'd from the Oaths of Allegiance, and Canonical Obedience, to the Protestation, the Solemn League and Covenant, the Engagement, the Negative Oath, the Oath of Abjuration, and so till we swore round, into the Oath of Allegiance again.

Bum. What do you mean now by your Generall Profession?

Citt. I mean the Subordination of a Partiall to a Generall, of a Private Profession to a Publick; as thou seest in the Late Times, Bumpkin, how strictly the Divided Reformers kept themselves to This Rule, so long as the Common Enemy was upon his Legs.

Bum. But who do you mean by the Common Enemy?

Citt. I mean, the Court, and the Church-Party. So long (I say) all our Brethren of the Separation joyn'd as one man, against that Inordinate Power; and herein we were Conscienciously True to our General Profession; but so soon as ever we had subdu'd that Popish and Tyrannical Interest, through the Conscience of our General Profession, we then consulted our Particular; and every man did Conscienciously labour for the Establishment of his own way. But now we come to the great Nicety of all; that is to say, the Conscience of making a Conscience of using any Conscience at all: There's a Riddle for ye, Bumpkin.

Bum. I must confess I do not understand one Bitt on't.

A Conscience of using no Conscience at all.

Citt. That's for want of a Discerning Spirit Bumpkin. What does Conscience signifie to the Saints, that are deliver'd from the Fetters of Moral Obligations, by so many Extraordinary and Over-riding Priviledges, which are granted in a peculiar manner to the People of the Lord? What's he the better, or the worse, for keeping or for breaking the Ten Commandments, that lies under the Predestinarian Fate of an Unchangeable Necessity and Decree? What needs he care for any other Guide, that carries within himself an Infallible Light? Or He for any Rule at all that cannot sin? For the same thing may be sin in another man, which in Him is None.

Bum. Really this is admirable: So that we that are the Elect are bound up by no Laws at all, either of God or of Man.

Citt. Why look you now for that; we Are, and we are Not. If it so happens that the Inward and Invisible Spirit move us to do the same thing, which the Outward, and Visible Law requires of us; in That Case we are Bound; but so, as to the Spirit, not to the Law: and therefore we are bid to stand fast in our Christian Liberty.

Of Christian Liberty.

Bum. That's extreamly well said, for if We Christians should be Shackled with Human Laws, which can only reach the Outward Man, then are the Heritage of the Lord, in no better Condition then the Wicked, and the Heathen.

The Extent of it.

Citt. Oh! th'art infinitely in the Right: for if it were not for this Christian Liberty, we could never have Justify'd our Selves in our Late Transactions: the Designe of Overturning the Government had been Treason; taking up Arms against the King, Rebellion; Dividing from the Communion of the Church had been Schism; appropriating the Church Plate, and Revenues to Private Uses, had been Sacriledge; Entring upon Sequester'd Livings had been Oppression: taking away mens Estates had been Robbery; Imprisoning of their Persons had been Tyranny; using the name of God to all This, would have been Hypocrisy, forcing of Contradictory Oaths had been Impiety, and Shedding the Blood both of the King, and his People, had been Murther: And all This would have appear'd so to be, if the Cause had come to be Try'd by the Known Laws either of God, or of Man.

Bum. Make us thankfull now! What a blessed State are we in, that Walk up to our Calling, in Simplicity and Truth, whose Yea is Yea, and whose Nay is Nay. 'Tis a strange way thou hast, Citt, of making things out to a man. Thou wert saying but now, that the same thing may be a Sin in One Man, and not in Another. I'm thinking now of the Jesuites.

Citt. Oh That's a Jugling, Equivocating, Hellish sort of People; 'tis a thousand pitties that they're suffer'd to live upon the Earth; They value an Oath no more then they do a Rush. Those are the Heads of the Plot now upon the Life of the King, the Protestant Religion, and the Subversion of the Government.

Jesuites and Phanatiques compar'd.

Bum. Ay, Ay, Citt, they're a damn'd Generation of Hell-hounds. But, as I was thinking just now; we have so many things among Us, like some things among Them, that I have been run down some times allmost, as if We our selves were Jesuites; though I know there's as much difference, as betwixt Light, and Darknesse: and for my part, I defie them as I do the Devill.

A vast Difference betwixt them.

But Citt thou hast so wonderfull a way of making matters plain, I'de give any thing in the world thou'dst but teach me what to say in some Cases, when I'm put to't. One told me t'other day, You are rather worse then the Jesuites; (says he) for when They break an Oath, they have some mental Reservation or other for a Come-off: But You Swallow your Perjuryes, just as Cormorants do Eeles; an Oath's no sooner In at One End, then Out at t'other.

Citt. Let your Answer be This, Bumpkin, That the Lawmaker is Master of his own Laws; and that the Spirits dictating of a New Law, is the Superseding of an Old one.

Their Practices compar'd.

Bum. These are hard words, Citt; but he told me further, don't You Justifie King-Killing (says he) as well as the Jesuits? Only They do't with Pistol, Dagger, and Poyson; and You come with Your Horse, Foot, and Cannon: They proceed by Excomunicating, and Deposing; by dissolving the Character, first, and then destroying the Person; and just so did You. First, ye Depos'd the King, and Then ye Beheaded Charles Stuart. And then you need never go to Rome for a Pardon, when every man among you is his own Pope.

The Fanaticks Clear'd.

Citt. Now your Answer must be This; That we had, First, the Warrant, for what we did, of an Extraordinary Dispensation. (as appear'd in the providence of our Successes) Secondly, we had the Laws of Necessity, and Self-preservation to Support us. And Thirdly, the Government being Coordinate, and the King only One of the Three Estates; any Two of the Three might deal with the Third as They thought Fit: Beside the Ultimate Soveraignty of the People, over and above. And now take notice, that the same Argument holds in the Subversion of the Government.

Bum. Now you have Arm'd me Thus far, pray'e help me on, one step farther; for I was hard put to't not long Since, about the businesse of the Protestant Religion. What is That, I pray'e, that ye call the Protestant Religion?

Of Dissenting Protestants.

Citt. You are to understand, that by the Protestant Religion is meant the Religion of the Dissenters in England, from the Church of England; As the First Protestants in Germany 1529. (from whom we denominate our Selves) were Dissenters from the Church of Rome: And So Call'd from the famous Protestation they enter'd against the Decree of the Assembly at Spires, against Anabaptists.

Bum. So that I perceive We Set up the Protestant Religion; we did not Destroy it: But they prest it Then, that the Church of England was a Protestant Church, and that the Jesuites had only Design'd the Destruction of it, where as We did Actually Execute it.

Citt. Your Answer must be, that the Church of England, though it be a little Protestantish, it is not yet directly Protestant: As on the Other side, it is not altogether the Whore of Babilon, though a good deal Whorish; and therefore the Reply to That must be, that we did not Destroy, but only Reform it.

Bum. Why I have answer'd People out of my Own Mother-Wit, that we did but Reform it. And they told me again, the Cutting of it off Root and Branch, was a very Extraordinary way of Reforming.

The meaning of Root and Branch.

Citt. The Answer to That is Obvious, that the Cutting Off Root and Branch, is only a Thorow, or a Higher degree of Reforming. But upon the whole matter, it was with Us and the Jesuites, as it was with Aaron and the Magicians; we did Both of us, make Froggs, but We alone had the Power to quicken the Dust of the Land, and turn it into Lice.

Thou art by this time, I presume, sufficiently instructed in the Methods, and Fundamentalls of the Holy Cause. I shall now give you some necessary Hints, to fit, and quallify you for the Province that I intend you. But besure you mind your Lesson.

Bum. As I would do my Prayers, Citt, or I were Ungratefull, for you have made me for ever.

Citt. Come we'l take t'other Sup, first, and then to work. Who wayts there without? Two Potts more, and shut the door after Ye.

A great part of Your businesse, Bumpkin, will ly among Parliament-Rolls and Records; for it must be Our Post to furnish Materialls to a Caball only of Three Persons, that may be ready upon Occasion, to be made use of by the Grand Committee.

Rolls and Records hunted for Presidents.

Bum. My Old Master would say that I had as good a guesse at a Musty Record, as any man; And 'twas my whole Employment almost, to hunt for Presidents. Nay the People would Trust me with Great Bags home to my Lodging; and leave me alone sometimes in the Offices for four and twenty hours together.

Citt. But what kind of Presidents were they that Ye lookt for?

Bum. Concerning the Kings Prerogative, Bishops Votes, the Liberty and Property of the Subject; and the like: And such as They wanted, I writ out.

Citt. But did you Recite them Whole? or what did you Take, and what did you Leave?

Bum. We took what serv'd our Turn, and left out the Rest; and sometimes we were taken Tripping, and sometimes we Scap'd: But we never falsify'd any thing. There were some dogged Passages, indeed we durst not meddle with at all; but I can turn ye to any thing you have occasion for, with a wet-finger.

Lessons of behaviour for the Well-affected.

Citt. So that here's One great point quickly over; in thy being Train'd to my hand: A man might lay thee down Instructions, now, for thy very Words, Looks, Motions, Gestures; nay thy very Garments; but we'l leave those matters to Time, and Study. It is a strange thing how Nature puts her self forth, in these Externall Circumstances. Ye shall Know a Sanctifi'd Sister, or a Gifted Brother more by the Meene, Countenance, and Tone, then by the Tenour of their Lives, and Manners. It is a Comely thing for Persons of the Same Perswasion, to agree in these Outward Circumstances, even to the drawing of the same Tone, and making of the same Face: Always provided, that there may be read in our Appearances, a Singularity of Zeal, a Contempt of the World, a fore-boding of Evills to come; a dissatisfaction at the Present Times; and a Despair of Better.

Bum. Why This is the very Part, that I was Made for; these Humours are to be put On, and Off, as a man would shift his Gloves; and you shall see me do't as Easily too; but the Language must be got, I Phansy, by Conversing with Modern Authours, and frequenting Religious Exercises.

Citt. Yes, yes, and for a help to your memory I would advise you to dispose of your Observations into these Three Heads, Words, Phrases, and Metaphors: Do you conceive me?

The Force of Looks and Tones.

Bum. There's not a word you say, falls to the Ground. And I am the more sensible of the force of Words, Looks, Tones, and Metaphors (as ye call 'um) from what I finde in my self. Ours certainly may be well term'd a Powerfull Ministry, that makes a man cry like a Child at the very Noyse of a Torrent of Words that he does not Understand One Syllable of. Nay, when I have been out of reach of hearing the Words, the very Tone and Look, has Melted me.

A Moving Metaphor.

Citt. Thou canst not but have heard of That Moving Metaphor of the late Reverend Mr. Fowler: Lord Sowse us; (says he) Lord Dowse us, in the Powdering-Tubb of Affliction; that we may come forth Tripes worthy of thy Holy Table. Who can resist the Inundation of This Rhetorique? But let us now pass from the Generall Ornaments of our Profession, to the Particular businesse of our present Case.

I need not tell you, Bumpkin, of the Plott, or that we are all running into Popery; and that the best Service Englishman can do his Country, would be the ripping up of This Designe to the Bottom.

Bum. I am so much of Your Opinion, that you have Spoken my very Thoughts.

Citt. Bethink your self, Bumpkin; what Papists do you know?

Bum. Oh, hang 'um all, I never come near any of 'Um.

Citt. But yet you may have Heard, perhaps, of some people that are Popishly affected.

Bum. Yes, yes; There are abundance of Them.

Citt. Can you prove that ever they Sayd, or Did any thing, in favour of the Papists?

Bum. Nay there's enough of That I believe; but then there are such Huge Great men among 'um.

Citt. Pluck up a good heart Bumpkin; the Greater, the Better; We fear 'um not. Rub up your Memory, and call to minde what you can say upon Your own Knowledge, and what you have Heard; either about Sir Edmond-Bury Godfrey, The Plott; The Traytors that Suffer'd, or the Kings Evidence.

Bum. I have seen people shrug sometimes, and lift up their Hands and Eyes, and shake their Heads, and then they would clutch their Fists, look sour, make Mouths, and bite their Nails, and so: And I dare swear I know what they thought.

Citt. Ah Bumpkin, if they had but so much as mutter'd, they'd been our own.

Signs in Evidence.

Bum. Well but hark ye Citt, I hear People swear, or in WORDS to this Effect; why may not a Man as well swear, in SIGNS to this Effect? and that they lifted up their Eyes, and hands, bent their Fists, knit their Brows, and made Mouths, to this or that Effect?

Citt. No, that will never do Bumpkin, but if thou could'st but phansy that thou heard'st them speak.

Bum. Why truly I never thought on't, but I saw a Parson once, the Tears flood in his Eyes, as one of 'um went by to Execution. But your Surcingle-men, (as our Doctor told us last Lords day) are all of 'um Papists in their Hearts.