RICHARDSON’S.
NEW VALENTINE WRITER
Derby. Published for T Richardson.
RICHARDSON’S
NEW
LONDON FASHIONABLE
GENTLEMAN’S
Valentine Writer
OR, THE
LOVER’S OWN BOOK
FOR THIS YEAR:
Containing a very choice selection of
ORIGINAL AND POPULAR VALENTINES,
WITH
APPROPRIATE ANSWERS.
Love rules the court, the camp, the grove,
And men below, and saints above;
For love is heaven, and heaven is love.
DERBY:
THOMAS RICHARDSON;
SIMPKIN AND MARSHALL, LONDON.
THE
NEW LONDON FASHIONABLE
GENTLEMAN’S
VALENTINE WRITER.
FROM A GENTLEMAN.
As I wander’d about ’tother day full of thought,
With the subject of love I was very much caught;
Whether best to live single, or best with a wife,
I assure you within me was terrible strife.
Thinks I to myself, one is stupid alone,
And I’m sure I have read, “two is better than one;”
So a wife I have fixed on, that wife shall be you,
If it please you, and I will be constant and true.
LADY’S ANSWER.
“To be constant and true”—your promise is fair,
And I with your lines am quite smit I declare;
So I, at your word, take you, and send you this line,
To say I rejoice to be your Valentine.
FROM A YOUNG MAN NEARLY OUT OF HIS TIME, TO HIS FAVOURITE LADY.
I have only a few months to serve,
When I shall be out of my time;
To keep thee I’ll strain every nerve,
Devoting to thee all my prime.
Then spite of relations and friends,
Consent, my dear girl, to be mine;
I’ll make for their loss great amends,
If you’ll be my fond Valentine.
ANSWER OF COMPLIANCE.
That you promise fair, I confess,
And shall not your offer decline;
Indeed I want words to express,
That you’re my approv’d Valentine.
ANSWER OF REJECTION.
You ought to have patience indeed,
Until you’re in bus’ness awhile;
For how do you know you’ll succeed,
So many now fail in their toil?
Then you’d be a bankrupt in love,
If business began to decline;
And, oh! what a burthen would prove
Your hasty and rash Valentine!
FROM A SERVANT TO HIS FAVOURITE LASS.
Altho’ I have a charming place,
Yet I’d that place resign,
My dearest fair one to embrace,
And be her Valentine.
’Tis thee alone that I would serve,
Then to my suit incline,
Nor from your humble servant swerve,
But be his Valentine.
ANSWER OF COMPLIANCE.
I have receiv’d your Valentine,
And ponder’d upon every line;
And if I must confess the truth,
I think you are a charming youth.
ANSWER OF REJECTION.
Pray keep your place where plenty reigns,
The thought is a bad sign;
If you gave up your ways and means,
How could you keep a Valentine?
Such idleness I can’t endure;
Then mind I do advise,
When poverty is at the door,
Love out of window flies.
FROM A GENTLEMAN.
When first I saw thee I would fain
Have feasted on the sight again—
That thy sweet figure I may ’twine,
Consent to be my Valentine.
ANSWER OF COMPLIANCE.
To thee this answer I address,
For soon did I the author guess;
But, ere my person I resign,
I wish to see my Valentine.
ANSWER OF REJECTION.
Love, when sudden, is not right,
Who can judge, pray, at first sight?
Madness you with love combine,
Is’t thus you seek a Valentine?
FROM ANY ONE IN GREAT OR HUMBLE CIRCUMSTANCES, TO A LADY THAT IS FOND OF SINGING.
Mark well—“Oh, thou wert born to please me,”
’Tis true—“My dear, my only love”—
Then with a negative don’t teaze me—
But your fond Valentine approve.
“Come, live with me and be my love”—
And you shall sing “sweet home” each day;
So happy, we’ll together rove
“Over the hills and far away.”
ANSWER OF COMPLIANCE.
I understand, Sir, what you mean,
So you may get the wedding ring;
“Ah, sure a pair were never seen,”
The people all around will sing.
“Sweet home!” is a delightful song,
“Begone, dull Care,” shall give us cheer
“A snug little cot” we’ll have ere long—
“The charming fellow” you shall hear.
ANSWER OF REJECTION.
“Go, naughty man, I can’t abide you,”
“Cease your cunning” so malign;
There are other men beside you,
And a better Valentine.
FROM A GENTLEMAN.
I am a gentleman by birth—
A competency boast;
Of all the fair ones upon earth,
Thee I admire the most.
Thou art accomplish’d—quite refin’d—
An angel, so divine!
Then, since thou’rt suited to my mind
Pray be my Valentine.
ANSWER OF COMPLIANCE.
If I indeed thy heart possess,
Why should I let thee pine?
No, candidly I will confess,
Thou art my Valentine.
ANSWER OF REJECTION.
Thy boast of birth I must deride,
My family’s as good as thine—
Sir, I detest such empty pride,
And scorn to be thy Valentine.
Thy hope to wheedle is in vain,
There’s flattery in every line;
Reform, if e’er you hope t’ obtain,
A noble-minded Valentine.
FROM A GENTLEMAN.
Think not I love with feeble flame;
Think not my love untrue;
And think, if I am aught to blame
In too much loving you.
TO A MILLINER.
Forgive me, pale Miss, if you think I am rude,
But your mein and your manners declare you a prude;
With finicking fingers you coil up the lace,
Your caps and your ribbons, with ill-contriv’d grace;
O! who but a fool would e’er venture to take,
For a bride such a trumpery gingerbread cake;
Yet whose humble conceits, without twopence to spare,
Would lead her to think she’s a match for a mayor.
FROM A TRADESMAN TO HIS VALENTINE.
If you’ll my partner be for life,
My Valentine I shall regard;
But you must be a frugal wife,
Because the times are very hard.
I’ll give you what is good I vow,
And always strive to make you glad;
But no extravagance allow,
Because the times are very hard.
ANSWER OF COMPLIANCE.
Content is all that I request,
I seek not to be rich or fine;
The man who always does his best,
Must be a worthy Valentine.
I’ll work as well as you, dear Sir,
And tho’ of comforts oft debarr’d,
Believe me I shall not demur,
Because the times I know are hard.
ANSWER OF REJECTION.
Indeed I doubted your regard,
When I perus’d your paltry lines;
And must observe, as times are hard,
You should not think of Valentines.
As I’m at liberty to judge,
You are a stingy man I think,
And I should be afraid you’d grudge
All I sat down to eat and drink.
FROM A PERSON OF ANY RANK TO HIS FAVOURITE LADY.
As you’re the fair whom I approve,
Oh, let us visit Hymen’s shrine,
There make our vows of mutual love,
And be each other’s Valentine!
ANSWER OF COMPLIANCE.
You have astonish’d me indeed,
And my consent I hereby sign;
I’ll follow—if the way you’ll lead—
Your most obedient Valentine.
ANSWER OF REJECTION.
“Look before you leap,” they say,
To the adage I incline;
I must think ere I obey,
And know well my Valentine.
FROM A PERSON OF LOW OCCUPATION TO HIS FAVOURITE LASS.
Altho’ my occupation’s mean,
I wish my girl to know,
On Sundays I am very clean,
And seem more high than low.
They frequently are found more coarse,
Who think themselves more fine—
Take me for better or for worse,
And be my Valentine.
ANSWER OF COMPLIANCE.
The high and low, all, ’tis allow’d,
From Adam do arise;
And, therefore, I am not so proud,
The humble to despise.
The lowest man may be sincere,
And wherefore should he pine?
I therefore am resolv’d to cheer
My humble Valentine.
ANSWER OF REJECTION.
You look too high I must declare,
More modest pray appear;
And seek a Valentine elsewhere,
Within your proper sphere.
A servant wench your vows may hear,
A bar-maid may incline;
But look not higher, or, I fear,
You’ll get no Valentine.
FROM A WIDOWER TO A LADY.
I’m lonesome since I’ve lost my wife,
My children I have well dispos’d;
Be thou my Valentine for life,
And let the bargain soon be clos’d.
ANSWER OF COMPLIANCE.
Sir, as I lately understood,
To please your wife you always strove;
In me I hope you’ll find as good,
And ne’er repent your second love.
ANSWER OF REJECTION.
Sir, you are aged it appears,
Why on a second marriage bent?
A widower advanced in years,
I think, as such, should be content.
TO A LADY.
I love my Valentine as much
As doctors love a fee to touch;
As much as misers love their pelf,
Or as a dandy loves himself;
As much as minstrels love a lay,
Or children love a holiday;
As much as gluttons love to dine,
I love my dearest Valentine.
ANSWER OF COMPLIANCE.
I love my Valentine indeed,
As much as scholars love to read;
As much as soldiers love to mess;
As much as ladies love to dress;
As much as amateurs to play,
As much as courtiers to be gay:
In short, I love my Valentine
As much as coxcombs to be fine.
ANSWER OF REJECTION.
I hate a flatterer—’tis true,
As much as Christians hate a Jew;
As much as schoolmasters a clod,
Or little children hate a rod;
As much as critics hate a pun,
Or wretched debtors hate a dun:
In short, a flatterer I hate,
As much as dandies love to prate.
TO A LADY.
I boast not eloquence, dear Miss,
Nor do I write exceeding fine;
Therefore, I bluntly ask you this—
Pray, will you be my Valentine?
ANSWER OF COMPLIANCE.
Fine pompous words I do detest,
Nor can I bear the studied line;
I own that he will suit me best,
Who is a downright Valentine.
ANSWER OF REJECTION.
Give me the man refin’d—correct—
A polish makes all metals shine;
To clownish ways I must object—
Give me th’ accomplish’d Valentine.
TO A LADY.
Of all the fair I’ve ever seen,
For beauty, manners, and for mien,
My charmer doth outshine:
Oh, then, be kind, I humbly pray,
Grant me the happiness to say,
You are my Valentine.
ANSWER OF COMPLIANCE.
Of all the youths I’ve ever known,
For wit and truth I needs must own
To thee I must incline;
Oh, then, my freedom pray excuse,
But truly I could not refuse,
So kind a Valentine.
ANSWER OF REJECTION.
Of all the trash I ever read,
It may with verity be said,
’Tis your unmeaning lines;
Of this no more pray ever send,
For be assur’d I’ll not attend
To foolish Valentines.
FROM A YOUNG MAN TO A YOUNG LADY.
I have been very wild of late,
But if to marry you’ll incline,
I shall reform—I’ll grow sedate,
And be a constant Valentine.
ANSWER OF COMPLIANCE.
I know that men will rove in youth,
But once their wild oats having sown,
They are, for constancy and truth,