Scene: Outside a country house at the end of the 17th century. Dawn.
(Jenny enters following Arabella.)
Jenny Why, when every one else is sleeping, what demon, if you please, tugs you by the ear and makes you go up and out so early?
Arabella
Peace, shut up, speak low—you know my plan. Worthy has come back.
Jenny
Worthy?
Arabella (romantically) >From France!
Jenny
How do you know that, Madame, I beg to ask?
Arabella I believed he'd make an appearance hereabouts—more with my heart than my eyes.
Jenny I am only astonished that you've avoided the watchful Uncle Albert. My word, here is a guide more excellent than love.
Arabella I was at my window waiting for the day. Then, someone came. Seeing the door open, I seized the opportunity offered by the occasion—more to take the air than to flatter my hopes that Mr. Worthy would be attracted here just to see me.
Jenny There's no need for you to worry. It's understandable that the poor boy would fall all over himself to see you. He comes tonight, and at daybreak, you wait for him—just to flatter his love. You lose little time. But, what, if by chance, Albert, your tutor, who is jealous by nature, should find us? What would you say to him?
Arabella (with determination) I intend to free myself from the jealous fool. I have languished too long under his cruel domain. I'm taking off the mask, so he can see how little regard I have for him, and how I intend to live from now on—and how much I hate him!
Jenny May heaven assist you in this praiseworthy plan! As for me, I'd rather serve the devil—yes, the devil. At least when he held his Sabbath, I would have some rest. But, in my state, evening, morning, day or night—I have no peace. I'll have a breakdown soon. He scolds and grinds his teeth the live long day. "Do this, do that, come, go, go upstairs, go downstairs—close the door and window. Prevent, if you can, anyone from appearing." He stops, he worries, he runs around without knowing where. All night he prowls like a frenzied wolf. He doesn't permit us to close our eyes. As for him, when he sleeps, one eye's shut, the other's watching. He never laughed in his life. He's jealous, stupid, brutal to the extreme, miserly, hard, peevish. I'd prefer to beg for my bread, from door to door, than to serve a master like this any longer. In short, I don't like him.
Arabella Henceforth, Jenny, all our troubles are over. How my Worthy differs from the portrait you paint. From my most tender years, nursed by his own mother, our hearts were leagued in sympathy. And love grew by the most charming means, finally united again by mutual oaths. Although suffering from this frightful constraint for some time, which annoys and overwhelms me, I am a woman who will take violent action! Dressed like a man—a knight errant, I will free myself from Albert and his harsh tyranny. I am going to run away and seek adventures.
Jenny
Oh, there are adventures enough to be found without going so far away.
I can warn you that you will find enough of them.
Arabella You don't know my character yet. When one puts a yoke on my contrary disposition, constraint only wakens my desires. I have lived in the world in the midst of pleasure. Presently, Worthy is ready to marry me. Many wild ideas pass through my head. I have the heart, the wit, the sense,—the right! In short, you will soon see the little traits of my character. But, why is the door open?
Jenny Fie. Your old Cereberus is on the prowl. What will he ask? He prowls everywhere. He stands sentinel all night—and at daybreak he goes scouting. If, by good luck, he could be trapped into some ambush—a little spoke put in his wheel, with some compromising story—and blackmailed— But, peace, I hear a noise: someone's coming—let's listen.
(Arabella and Jenny draw back as Albert enters.)
Albert I've circled the house, all night long, and found everybody asleep. This will foil the efforts of my enemies. I've even patrolled outside. Thank heaven, everything is all right. A secret terror disquiets me, despite my efforts. I've seen a certain inquisitive person prowling around here, from a distance, who seems to me to be examining the place. For nearly six months, my cowardly complacence has endangered my prudent action, and to let Arabella breathe easily disquiets my soul, so I must shut her up. You don't make girls wise by softness. I am going to bar the windows—with bars as big as my hand—to foil all human efforts. But, I hear some noise! I see an object which walks and turns about in the half light. Who goes there? . . . Nobody answers. This affected silence bodes no good.
Jenny
I tremble.
Albert
It's jenny. Arabella is with her.
Arabella
So, it's you, sir, playing sentinel?
Albert Yes, yes, it's me, it's me. But at this time of day, what are you doing in this place, if you please?
Arabella Neither Jenny nor I sleep in the morning, so we came here to be under the trees and to see the sun rise and take the air.
Jenny (trying to be helpful)
Yes.
Albert You are to watch the dawn and take the air from your window. You are conspiring here to betray me.
Jenny (aside)
That wouldn't be a bad idea!
Albert
What do you say?
Jenny
Not a word.
Albert Prudent, circumspect girls who are not up to some intrigue sleep tranquilly in their bed—and don't take the air so early—be it hot or cold.
Jenny And how, if you please, do you expect us to rest when all night one hears nothing but coming, going, opening, closing, crying, tossing, scratching, running, sneezing, coughing? When, by great luck, I fall asleep—a frightful jangling of keys starts me awake. I try to go back to sleep, but cannot. A Wandering Jew who does evil with the greatest pleasure, a mischievous imp vomited by hell to earth, to make an eternal war with sleeping men begins his uproar and annoys us all.
Albert
And what is this imp and Wandering Jew?
Jenny
You.
Albert
Me?
Jenny Yes, you. I believe that these rude manners come from some spirit who is in need of prayers. And to better understand whether this angry thing was soul or body, that made this Sabbath, one evening, I took a cord with two ends firmly attached upstairs. It had the effect I hoped. So soon as all were retired to sleep, I waited in person without noise or light, on guard in a corner. I wasn't long waiting. So pitty-pat down the spirit came, noisily tumbling over the cord. He measured the stairs with his nose. Suddenly, I heard him cry: "Help, I am dead." As these cries increased—at which I laughed very much—I ran and found you spread out—with an apostrophe in place of your face. Your nose gave proof that you were a body and not a spirit.
Albert Ah, miserable scoundrel, adherent of the devil! It was you who played that abominable trick. You wished to kill me with this cursed act!
Jenny (innocently)
No, it was only to trap the ghost.
Albert
I don't know what prevents me from beating you up!
Arabella
Sir, easy.
Albert You, too, my pretty, could earn some slaps. Shut up, if you please. To punish her audacity, I will drive her from my house. How do you like that?
Jenny (crying)
Just heaven, what a sentence. Sir—
Albert (adamant)
No, out of the nest, if you please.
Jenny (laughing) Ah, my word, sir, you flatter yourself if you think that leaving your sad company will make me suffer the least pang. A school boy leaving his tutor, a woman a long time celibate who leaves her relatives to get married—a slave who leaves the hands of his masters, an old prisoner who breaks his chains after thirty years, an heir who sees his uncle give up the ghost, a husband when the plague takes his plaguey wife—doesn't have half the pleasure I take in receiving from you this happy discharge.
Albert
Leaving me would please you?
Jenny
The greatest pleasure I will have in my life.
Albert Really! If that is so, I've changed my mind. I do not intend to give you this pleasure. You will stay here to do penance. And you will, without arguing, go in, and be diligent.
(Arabella reenters and curtsies. As Jenny starts to go, Albert stops her.)
Albert You stay—I wish to speak to you without witnesses. (aside) I'll have to butter her up—I need her services. (aloud) Come on—let's make peace and live sensibly. At bottom I love you—and more than you think.
Jenny
And I also love you more than you think.
Albert A pretty amour, truly to break my nose. But, I pardon all, and promise you that you will enjoy my bounty—if you serve me on occasion.
Jenny
Let's see. What service is in question?
Albert You've known for a long time, that as regards Arabella, I have, as one ought, a soul a—bit tender. But for the precautions I take for her the wench would soon take the bit in her teeth. She's always spent her life in high society with the lady from London—Mrs. Worthy—who took care of her until she was fifteen. That lady, having died, a relation begged me to take care of her, and confided her to me. Since then love has stolen into my heart. I have a plan to make her my wife.
Jenny
Your wife! Fie!
Albert
What do you mean by that tone?
Jenny
Fie, I tell you.
Albert
What?
Jenny Hey, fie! Fie—I tell you. You are too intelligent to commit such a stupidity—and I tell you to your grey beard.
Albert I never had children by my late wife—and I wish to finish what I've begun—to have heirs whose happy birth will ruin the hopes of all my collaterals.
Jenny My word, sir, make as many as you please. You won't have any posterity left behind, and it is I who tell you so.
Albert
And why is that?
Jenny
How do I know?
Albert
Who has given you the privilege of soothsaying? Say, speak, respond!
Jenny My God—I said nothing except what's reasonable, and you know it! I understand myself and that's sufficient.
Albert
Don't trouble yourself. It's my business—and none of yours!
Jenny
Ah, you're right.
Albert Look, you know that around here, one cannot take a step without falling into some ambush. The snares that surround my soul alarm me. I have a prize ewe lamb surrounded by care—but the ravishing wolves are prowling in hopes of carrying her off. I must protect her from their cruel fangs—and so as not to fear their cruel fury, I intend to close all parts of the sheep pen, to carefully surround my house with iron bars, and to let in only a few people—and that by day. I have need of your help at this juncture, so that the fencing will go as I intend.
Jenny
Who, me?
Albert I don't wish this invention to appear to be the result of my precaution. Arabella would be alarmed—with reason, to see my care result in her being locked in—that might cause her to become cold to me. But, with clever girls, one must gild the pill adroitly, and make her understand that all that is being done is only to protect her—and that last night a number of bandits got into a nearby house and left only the walls standing.
Jenny But, sir, do you think with this trick—and many others of the same type that you employ—do you believe that you will make her love you?
Albert
That's not your worry; suffice that I wish it.
Jenny Go on, at your age, to wish to taste of marriage a second time. Crazier still, to be amorous of a fifteen year old, and yet crazier to plan to cage her up. I count three extravagances in this plan—likely to be funereal in its consequence—and the least of them leads straight to Bedlam.
Albert
I have excellent reasons for my conduct.
Jenny Thanks to the effects of celestial bounty, I have my virtue intact. But, if I had a husband or a lover of your mind, they'd have horns all over their heads, by God! If you choose me to take on this trouble, I tell you plainly, your hope is vain. I don't intend to meddle in your cowardly plans. The case is too villainous, and I wash my hands of it.
Albert Do you know that after having employed persuasion, I also know how to employ intimidation?
Jenny Storm, swear, howl—go into a fit, you will only hear me repeat again, that a jealous man is a frightful thing—a thing one would cheerfully see buried a hundred feet underground. There is nothing more hideous— not Satan, Lucifer, and the many other gentleman-inhabitants of hell. They are much more handsome, charming, love-killers—less cruel and less insupportable—than certain jealous creatures such as one sees about here. You understand me—I have spoken and I will retire. Goodbye.
(Exit Jenny.)
Albert All the world is busy here plotting to betray me. One would conclude they have no greater joy. Jenny's worth nothing, but from fear of worse, I'll keep her. I will not let what people say, or their criticism prevent me from accomplishing the plan my heart is bent on realizing.
(Enter Scratch.)
Scratch (aside) My master, Mr. Worthy, who is waiting for me at the nearby inn, has sent me on before to sound the terrain. (seeing Albert) There, I take it, is our man. I must dissemble.
Albert
What are you doing here, by yourself and before my door?
Scratch
Good day, sir.
Albert (sourly)
Good day.
Scratch
I—are you well?
Albert (grumpily)
Yes.
Scratch
Truly, that rejoices my heart.
Albert
Rejoice or not rejoice—what brings you here? And who are you?
Scratch I would find it hard to say. I have so many jobs that I might call myself a universal man. I have wandered the universe; the world is my country. From lack of income, I lived by industry—as many others do. According to the circumstances, sometimes an honest man, sometimes a confidence man. I served unwillingly in the Navy—and realizing my heart inclined to rapine after having spent eighteen months privateering. I carried a musket in Flanders and Germany; I was wounded in the wars with France.
Albert
There are some fine jobs. (aside) From tip to toe, this fellow seems
to me to have the air of a rogue. (aloud) What are you doing here?
Speak!
Scratch
I will retire.
Albert (holding him)
No, no, you must speak.
Scratch (aside)
I don't know what to say to him.
Albert You seem to me to have the air of one of those rogues who prowl around to rob houses at night.
Scratch You don't know me, sir. I have other things on my mind. While Fortune prevents me from having wealth, it has given me marvelous secrets for curing ills. I amuse myself by seeking medicinal herbs around here.
Albert (surprised)
Medicinal herbs?
Scratch Yes, sir. All my life, I've made a profession of chemistry. As sure as you see me, there are no diseases I cannot cure—stone, coughs, vertigo, hysteria, heart disease, cancer. I've even been accused of using magic. The only thing I lack is a degree to make me the happiest physician living.
Albert
Your clothes are not those of a physician.
Scratch Clothes don't make the science. And if I were not reduced to be a valet, and if I had not had a fight with the squire of my parish— (mysteriously) But, one day you will see innocence triumph.
Albert
You say you have—?
Scratch See the slander! One day, finding myself on a long journey, traveling third class, and twilight falling—I saw a certain coach stuck in the mud in a ditch, and a man in need of help. So I approached. And, to ease the weight which oppressed him (the coach was on top of him), I removed the packages he was carrying. The chief of police got mixed up in it, and held me responsible for the lost packages—for an act of charity! That's why my friends advised me to leave the country.
Albert
Always prudent, in cases like that.
Scratch I went to the wars, where I accomplished miracles. The Ardennes saw me withstand enemy fire. And, battling one day against the enemy, one day all by myself—at Milan—I almost paid with my life. Do you know, sir, I was in Cremona?
Albert I believe you. But, after all your famous exploits, what do you want from me?
Scratch
What do I want?
Albert (peremptorily)
Yes.
Scratch Nothing. I believe one doesn't have to have any special reason to take a walk, and doing so offends nobody.
Albert
Yes, but don't stay too long. Your servant, sir.
Scratch Servant! Before leaving, tell me, if you please, sire, to whom does this country house belong?
Albert
It belongs to its owner.
Scratch Oh, to be sure. You answer so cleverly, that one cannot abandon your conversation easily. We ought to go to the village together to find a place to stay. We'll be there soon.
Albert
If you hurry.
Scratch (aside) This chap doesn't like conversation and answers my questions with a single word. (aloud) I will leave after asking the time.
Albert Your question is funny. You think I'm here like the dial on a clock to display the time to passersby. Go learn it elsewhere. Don't weigh down my ear any longer. Your appearance tires me as much as your conversation. Goodbye. Good day!
(Exit Albert.)
Scratch (alone) This fellow has quite the aspect of a bear. My word, this beginning bewilders me. The old man appears to me to be a bit subject to anger. To bring everything to fruition we may have to fight. So much the better—that's where I shine, and I love to fence. But, I see my master, Mr. Worthy.
(Enter Worthy.)
Worthy Well, Scratch, what news? Dear Scratch, did you see the beauty in these parts? Have you seen the tutor and do you see some ray of hope for my love someday?
Scratch To tell you the truth, it wasn't worth the trouble to race here breathlessly from Milan. You could have spared me the trouble of coming. Oh, that battle on Mount Cenis was no joke. Do you remember how maliciously my cursed mule threw me in a ravine, and I was almost a quarter of an hour rolling to the bottom?
Worthy
Don't jest. Speak in a different way.
Scratch As you wish, a clearer phrase. I will tell you, sir, that I have seen the jealous one—who received me in a manner that makes a cold wind seem mild. We'll need a cannon to take the place.
Worthy We'll come in the end to what he said and what he did. I won't leave these parts until I am in possession of the object of my vows. Love will vanquish the resistance of this brute.
Scratch
If we had some money for expenses, I'd have hope enough for success.
Money is the sinew of love as well as war.
Worthy Don't worry. Arabella has thirty thousand crowns when she marries. If she had nothing, I would still love her a hundred times better than a rich girl with money enough to turn your head. From her earliest years, raised by my mother, her image has been graven in my heart and nothing can efface it. Our two hearts, which seem made for each other, first tasted this happy news just before my mother died. Because of this disaster, Albert, this old jealous fool that hell should confound—separated her from me, with the consent of Arabella's relatives. I didn't know him, and she, I believe, like me, had never heard of his name. People told me that he was a very troubled spirit— defiant, hard, brutal.
Scratch They told you right. We must learn, first off, if we can introduce ourselves into this fortress by cleverness or must use force—whether it is better to make an open siege or form plans for a blockade.
Worthy
You always employ military terms. You've been to the wars.
Scratch In all affairs, the mind must always be used before resorting to brute force. Today's not the first time I've seen combat. I deserted twice from the militia. When one intends, you see, for a siege to succeed, one must prevent anything from entering, know the surroundings, learn its weaknesses and its strengths. When one is well informed about what's happening, one digs a trench, bombards the place, overthrows a rampart—makes a breach—advances in good order—and gives the assault. One strangles, massacres, kills, steals, and pillages. It's almost the same when one takes a young woman. Right, sir?
Worthy
In this matter, Jenny, the maid, is in our interests.
Scratch So much the better. The more intelligence one has of the city, the more hope one has of success. One must take it noiselessly—without drums. All night help comes. Make her signals, so she'll understand.
Worthy Come, let's discover ways to take it. And, so as not to arouse suspicions, let's avoid remaining around here too long.
Scratch As chief engineer and master of artillery, I am going to see where I ought to place my batteries—to punch a hole in Albert and oblige him to surrender the place quickly or withstand our assault.
CURTAIN